NC as situation is easily identifiable. Dd2 is at the end of yr3. She is in a boy-heavy class (roughly 1:2). She is finding it increasingly disruptive. Since yr1 all of the teachers have left the school either at the end of the year or mid year teaching the class. My other dd says that the class has a reputation for being disruptive. DD2 frequently says that teachers have told them that they are the naughtiest class. The teachers often seem to shout at the class and they often don't earn the class rewards etc. We have been in a few times to discuss it and the (new) HT acknowledged that things needed to be done. They had a change of teacher at half term, at first dd was moved from table A to table B, she seemed happier as the table was not as disruptive. Yesterday table A and table B were amalgameted.
It sounds a bit like an Easy Jet flight as they were told to sit next to the person who was going to be their talk partner for the rest of the term, another girl grabbed her friend first. The boy who then sat next to her (not one of the most disruptive boys) then tried completely unproked to kiss her in class. She told the teacher and he was told off, but she remains upset about the incident.
The tables seem to be roughly streamed by ability and I would say that she is probably around where she needs to be in terms of position in the class, so I can't see the tables or her peers changing much over the coming years. She says there is a lower ability table which is full of disruptive boys (at least her large table is mixed). She is studious and would like to work on the higher ability table. She would though I think struggle as although presenting as bright, articulate and engaged, she has struggled to learn to read (now making good progress), and although her maths conceptual understanding is good, she isn't as fast as some on her mental maths and she still makes simple errors such as numbers back to front etc. School not too bothered as she is 'where she needs to be for her age'.
She has got some sensory issues - we haven't felt the need to have a diagnosis but I could accept that she is more disturbed in the class than some others would be. She is reluctant to move but at the same time accepts that she can't continue like this. She raises the issue constantly at home from early in the morning until late at night. I think that the kissing is the last straw. She doesn't want to sit next to the boy for the next 6 weeks, which I can understand.
We have requested another meeting. Our options seem to be
- continue as we are and do nothing, and hope that the class improves.
- to ask/hope that they shuffle up the classes to make them more balanced, redistributing all the children and splitting up the disruptive ones. I imagine that this will not be popular with 'nice class' below.
- request that as soon as a place is available that she moves to the other class - this is a girl heavy class with a rougly 2:1 ratio and by all reports is very calm. She knows a few of the girls, but would need to make friends. She could still see her two friends at lunchtime. I can imagine that the school will be reluctant to unbalance the classes further.
- move her to a different school, where we think that there is space from talking to friends, or at least put her name down on waiting list.
This would be the most complicated option. There would be no chance of a place for dd1 - she is in year 5 going to yr 6. She is happy at school, she wouldn't want to move and the other school currently only extends to yr3. There might at some point be a place to move ds (reception), but he is currently fairly happy at school. The other school would be too far to walk (although possibly doable by yr 6 - it is about 1.5 miles on foot each way, but to then drop off at the current school it would be a further 0.8 miles - too far for ds).
It starts an hour earlier and finishes an hour earlier and some of the holidays are different. We would have to drive and this would involve everyone as dh would leave for work before we did. dd1 could walk to current school from home, but it would involve her being left every day for up to an hour (while we negotiated heavy traffic etc), and potentially she would have to lock up the house. Ds would have to come with me, we would have to either drive straight to old school or drive home and then walk depending on how the timing works out. This would last for 2-3 years until dd2 goes to secondary/ can walk alone. I work at home, so could do it but would lose out on work time with the extra ferrying of children in the afternoon and different holiday times. My work is flexible so as long as the job is done my employers are happy. I also hate the hassle of driving to school, parking is a nightmare at both schools.
Other than the logistical nightmares the other school sounds like a positive move - she knows three girls in the class. The class is girl-heavy, well behaved, there is a limit of 24 chldren in the year. It is a free school but follows NC for core subjects and all of the teachers are qualified. She would also be giving up a school with lovely grounds for one with very little outside space.
I know it sounds as if I am a bit negative towards the boys, they are not all disruptive, but at least ten are regularly (on a daily basis) exhibiting behaviour which I would not want my son to be doing when he is in yr 3, and I am concerned about the impact on dd2, who has to be my priority.