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Food allergies, how do you do the birthday parties?

(30 Posts)
irvine101 Thu 11-Jun-15 20:51:30

My ds has multiple food allergies. He is in yr2, but never had proper parties. He can't have eggs, wheat, milk etc.

In the past, he was invited to the parties, but recently, he was excluded from his class mate's party. Only reason I can think of is that we never invited them back!

So this year, we really want to have his party. Any ideas please!?

lavendersun Thu 11-Jun-15 20:55:52

Shame, we lived with this for many years. Can you make lots of food for the masses and then have a separate party platter for your son?

I used to take a little platter of food, sandwiches, crisps, berries, cake, sausage rolls etc to any party we went to for DD.

It is very tough when they are old enough to realise.

CunfuddledAlways Thu 11-Jun-15 20:55:53

I'm not sure I understand the question? Are you asking what to feed other kids at his next birthday party?

BarbarianMum Thu 11-Jun-15 21:00:25

Is there fairly standard party food he can eat - thinking fish fingers, burgers, sausages chips and beans type things? Quite a lot of places offer that type of food. Bowling, soft play, roller skating etc

Or you could do a party from home and self cater. Ordinary food for guests, safe versions for ds. You can do a pirate theme where everyone gets their own treasure box of food so no buffet or chance of eating the wrong thing and he wouldn't stand out, either.

Or something like the cinema and give them all a big bag of sweets.

Be aware though that whole class parties tend to peter out by end Y1, with children just inviting a few closer friends to celebrate with them. This may why he's not being invited. Still, it is always fun to have your own party regardless.

addictedtosugar Thu 11-Jun-15 21:09:26

What about a party where food isn't integral? But make it clear to be everyone. We've also had a film party, where it was popcorn as a snack, and nothing else.

Your son must eat something. Could everyone have a meal that he can eat?

For other peoples parties, take a box with party type food he can have. His friends must be used to him eating different food at lunch etc. Is that a problem? If not, at a party it also shouldn't be too much of an issue (so long as you keep him safe) as the kids are used to it?

irvine101 Thu 11-Jun-15 21:33:05

Thank you for your replies! He always brings his own plate of food when he needs to eat out.
He is used to having a different food from everyone, so we will provide normal food for other children, but the biggest concern is the cake. I cook him cakes and he is quite happy with it, but in the past, sweets made for him was not popular with other children...
So, we have to have birthday cake he can't eat for other children?

lavendersun Thu 11-Jun-15 21:43:22

Can you do cupcakes for everyone instead? Then he could have two sandwiched together with jam and iced to make them the same height smile, mine were always fairly flat and dense!

Artandco Thu 11-Jun-15 21:48:07

I would personally just make the whole party egg, wheat and dairy free

- ground almond lemon cookies ( use oil instead of butter)
- strawberries and melon and grapes

- wheat free sausages
- potato wedges
- popcorn


Artandco Thu 11-Jun-15 21:49:52

Stick the candles in the cookies piled up!

I wouldn't make a cake he was allergic to and can't eat!

Artandco Thu 11-Jun-15 21:51:14

Or make this cake

AcrossthePond55 Thu 11-Jun-15 22:03:45

I have Coeliac. If I'm throwing a party (like you'd be doing for your son) then everything is gluten free with the possible exception of bread rolls, which are kept separate. I've never had a negative comment about the 'quality' of the food.

I realize your son has more allergens to work around, but there are good pizza crusts that are GF and dairy/egg free and some good diary-free cheeses. Perhaps home-made pizzas, fruit and/or veggie platter, and a 'safe' cake or cookies. It will be extra special for him if he doesn't have to 'eat separately'.

irvine101 Thu 11-Jun-15 22:28:30

Cup cakes might be the good idea! Thank you lavendersun!

Artandco, your cake look divine! I will definitely try it. I might make the cupcake version. I will try it this weekend with ds.

AcrossthePond55, I really don't want him to feel different from others, especially on his birthday. Pizza could be good answer. I might be able to make it look his one quite similar. Thank you.

purpleclover Fri 12-Jun-15 07:09:08

Irvine, my 8 year old DS has multiple food allergies and I've always hosted class party for him. If you want an allergy friendly baker for a child friendly celebration cake contact and I am an excellent cook so just adapt recipes. There are very easy ways to cater for multiple food allergies. I always serve completely allergen free food to the kids and their parents and they never feel its "special food". PM for recipes

MidniteScribbler Fri 12-Jun-15 07:55:39

If you are hosting the party, I would just make everything he can eat, and then don't mention that it is gluten/egg/etc/etc free. I bet if you say nothing, everyone will tell you how wonderful it is. It's only when people perceive something as 'different' that suddenly they find fault with it. His own party is one place he shouldn't have to watch what he eats.

purpleclover Fri 12-Jun-15 09:30:38

Oooh this talk of food is making me hungry.

Corn chips
Chilli con carne if you want to serve a "hearty lunch"
Fruit skewers
Mixed berries and cream in a cup: fill atransparent plastic cup to the top with mixed berries then pour jelly into the cup. Once set, you can decorate with dairy free whipped cream (soyatoo spray whip - gluten free)
Grilled mini honey & soy sauce chicken skewers sprinkled with sesame seeds and finely chopped salad onions (just before serving)
Baked mini meatballs on toothpicks and tomato sauce in small "bowls" (no egg or bread crumbs needed to bind them)
If you don't want to buy or bake a celebration cake a cupcake tower is easy to make and looks fantastic. Use dove free from flour and flax seed replacement for egg. Cupcakes can be iced and decorated with sprinkles with a different colour for each layer of the tower.

Honestly all the kids and adults will enjoy it. Nobody would think it was sad "allergy food".

Please, please don't make nut based cakes eg using almond flour as loads of kids are allergic to nuts and it's unnecessary.

Lots of plonk for the adults!

irvine101 Fri 12-Jun-15 09:30:54

Thank you purpleclover! I wish I was a good cook like you. Even I follow recipe properly, something always goes wrong... rock hard bread, cookies doesn't hold its shape etc. I will have a look at wholesomebakes. It would be great if he can share the same food with everybody, especially cake!

Thank you Midnightscribber. Problem is that everybody knows he has allergy. But I will try my best since he missed out so much already because of my incompetence.

irvine101 Fri 12-Jun-15 09:40:15

Thanks again, purple!!! Those party food sound fantastic!!!

I was dreading before, not anymore thanks to all the wonderful MN mums!!!

His birthday is a few months away, so I will start planning and hope I will make it something very special for him.

purpleclover Fri 12-Jun-15 10:26:12

Irvine, don't worry at all about the food. Honestly, this is stuff you could easily make on a Friday night after work by chucking the ingredients in a blender and take out of the fridge or reheat in the oven on Saturday. I promise 3 hours maximum and very little stress on Saturday. PM if you want the recipes.

Cedar03 Fri 12-Jun-15 11:39:50

My only advice is to ignore whether the other children like something or not. In my experience there will always be at least one child who who turns their nose up at the food for some reason or other (and that's without worrying about allergies). The important thing is that the children have fun at the party itself.
And also in Year 2 the number of children invited to each party tends to go down anyway. My daughter has gone from having every child in the class to a joint party in a church hall to inviting 5 friends to a tea and party games party at our house.

NynaevesSister Fri 12-Jun-15 12:57:01

Don't stress too much about the food. His party is the one time he should get to feel like everyone else. I would just serve food he likes and eats. The other children are coming to have fun, the food will just be fuel.

Madcats Fri 12-Jun-15 21:57:28

It sounds as if the only thing you need to get right is "the cake". 5 or 6 years into the "cake thing", it really doesn't matter by the end of the party.

I reckon you would earn "alpha-mum" status if you managed to bake/ice/slice a cake that was already in the party bags (or ready to pop in) alongside something similarly iced (hey, it could almost be cardboard) for the candle stage.

by yr2 most parents are able to assess and plan for Dc scoffing vs not eating a thing at parties (and you are inviting at the end of the year!).

irvine101 Sun 14-Jun-15 09:17:13

Thank you everyone!!!

vikinglights Sun 14-Jun-15 14:25:01

my daughter has grown out of her food allergies but my sons best friend is hyper allergic to milk, egg and nuts. I make sure he can eat all the food served at parties, and there seems to be very little difference in the amount of food the kids consume at the 'allergy friendly' parties than at other parties without the allergic guests. The kids tend not to eat that much anyway

phonemum Mon 15-Jun-15 11:01:21

I remember long time ago I took my dd to a party in a softplay centre that the parents only present a b'day cake and nothing else.

anotherdayanothersquabble Mon 15-Jun-15 11:41:20

Yes, make food that he can eat. Sausages and chips are my favourite.

We don't have grains, dairy or sugar but manage to make things for parties that everyone is offered. The children understand that DS can't have certain things and are OK about eating what he eats. The worst was no dairy, no sugar, no wheat, no baking powder, no egg. Made with an Orgran cake mix which tasted like cardboard, some sugar free jam, coconut I had dyed green to look like grass. It tasted awful but still no one complained!!

Frozen banana, cherries and raspberries put in the blender to make icecream was a big hit at DS's 6th party.

Deliciously Ella has a sweet potato brownie which is nice.

Marshmallows are fab and there are some good dairy free chocolates around. If there are no children with nut allergies in the group, you could make some almond / cashew nut biscuits (equal parts nut butter, dates and coconut flour) and make some S'mores.

There is often one child who doesn't like the cake, whether it's chocolate, icing, jam, whatever so don't worry if one child doesn't like it. Have a bowl of crisps or haribo on hand for them to have instead.

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