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Uniform help: buttonless polo shirts??!

(33 Posts)
Allyoudude Sat 06-Jun-15 20:49:14

Hi all,
My DD is starting preschool in Sept., but absolutely refuses to wear anything with buttons on.
Not sure if it's a full-on phobia. She will sometimes play with buttons on other people's clothes. I've tried removing decorative buttons on her tops, but she still won't wear it after.
So I thought, in order make the nursery to preschool transition easier: just buy buttonless shirts! But can't seem to find any
Any help or links appreciated, thank you!

Pikkewyn Sat 06-Jun-15 22:21:59

Do they wear ties or can it be collarless? DD has a specific medical condition that means she can't wear school polo shirts and I asked the head and they gave permission for her to wear something in the some colours but with long sleeves and no collar. I had a few white 100% cotton tunic tops from a very simple pattern made for her. They cost about £10 each but it means she is comfortable and still matches.

Littlefish Sat 06-Jun-15 22:33:15

It might be a bit of an expensive way of doing it, but if necessary, you could buy plain white t shirts, cut the collars off polo shirts and sew them onto the neck band of the t shirt.

First, however, I would speak to the pre-school and see how strict the uniform code is. In the pre-school where I work, it is a very loose uniform code and plain white t shirts would be fine - no need to mess around with collars!

TheWoollybacksWife Sat 06-Jun-15 22:42:34

Would one of these work Vertbaudet press stud polo shirt?

WankerDeAsalWipe Sat 06-Jun-15 22:44:46

Next used to do some with zips I think - well it was either them or M&S - i'll have a google.

Thunderandconsolation Sat 06-Jun-15 22:44:50

I feel your pain! my ds7 has hated buttons since the age of 2/3, he won't wear them himself and won't even cuddle me when I'm wearing them, my solution so far is to have just cut the buttons off the polo shirts, I have never had any negative comment from the school, I really just thought he would grow out of it but he doesn't seem to be going to do so anytime soon, hopefully by secondary school he will have !!

AuditAngel Sat 06-Jun-15 22:50:20

DS has never had a problem with buttons, but I hate how polo shirts look buttoned up all the way. DS had a teacher who insisted on them being done up all the way, so I cut the top one off every polo top.

WankerDeAsalWipe Sat 06-Jun-15 22:50:53

Hmm - cant find them maybe they don't do them anymore - If you took the buttons off without her ever knowing they were there would that work? You could add velcro instead.

Mopmay Sat 06-Jun-15 23:16:27

Check that uniform is compulsory - ours isn't. Lots wear similar coloured clothes but not actual uniform - is a round neck cheap t shirt under a sweatshirt an option?

Jellyandjam Sun 07-Jun-15 09:01:06

Similar to a previous post I was going to suggest use of Velcro. When I went to a meeting for DS before he started school, the school actually suggested that we take off the top buttons and replace with Velcro as it makes PE easier!

littlenicky61 Sun 07-Jun-15 16:15:36

these are from America so maybe an expensive way of doing them - dockers and sears in the us sell them too ( they out of stock on this particular site but just wanted to show they are out there ! )

m and s did do them so maybe worth contacting them directly to see if they bringing them back ready for the main school uniform buying season

good luck

cece Sun 07-Jun-15 16:31:46

I'm 48 and still have issues with buttons. there is no way on Earth that I'd wear a polo shirt. even with them removed the holes are still there. shudder.

cariadlet Sun 07-Jun-15 16:45:19

It could be that she copes when she sees that all the other children are wearing polo shirts with buttons, and that uniform isn't an option - unlike nursery and home where you choose what to wear.

I've had 1 or 2 parents over the years saying that their dc won't wear anything with buttons, but the problem never materialised at school.

Nowfeeltheneedtopost Sun 07-Jun-15 20:26:47

My DD was exactly the same as thunderandconsolation's DC, she wouldn't wear buttons from aged 2, wouldn't cuddle me or her grandma or anyone wearing a blouse or cardigan with buttons. I had consistently tried but never pushed her to wear something with buttons and things had gradually improved so that by aged 4 she was less upset about other people wearing buttons but still had no clothes herself with buttons on. However, when she started Reception at school, I did say that the polo shirts had to be worn. No ifs, no buts. And for some reason, she has always been ok with wearing them. She is now 8 and they are still the only tops with buttons she will wear although she does now have jeans with a button fastening. I still make sure I buy summer dresses with zips! When I've discussed it with her (now she is older) she still says she doesn't like buttons but the fact that it is "uniform" and everyone wears it (and she is an inherent rule-follower) has helped her.

Allyoudude Mon 08-Jun-15 16:20:53

Uniform rules is pretty clear: polo shirts or regular button down collared shirt, everything else navy/black.
Thunderandconsolation and Nowfeeltheneedtopost: yes! She used to get upset if I or DH wore shirts/cardigans, would ask us to get changed!!
Now at 3.5, she doesn't seem bothered about us, but has no clothes with buttons.
She is excited about preschool, but not the prospect of uniform. We've been talking about it a bit, but I don't want to spoil her settling in experience with battles over buttons!
No luck in Next or M&S. Ordering from the US might be a last resort!
Have cut off buttons on tops before and she would still not go near it.
Just hoping she will just wear it, when she realises everyone else wears the same..
A good tactic that works with her in other situations is provide a choice: if she had to choose, between full shirt or the polo.. So maybe a case of lesser of two evils?wink

Jellyandjam Mon 08-Jun-15 17:56:19

Good luck. My DS has similar issues with beads.
I now cannot wear any kind of jewellery, except small earrings. If we are in a restaurant and there is anybody wearing a bracelet or similar near us we have to swap places with him so he can't see it. He says he feels like the beads are in his mouth. I thought if we didn't make a big deal of it he would grow out of it but he just got worse.
Luckily beads are not essential part of his clothing but you'd be surprised his often it becomes a problem!

WankerDeAsalWipe Mon 08-Jun-15 18:27:47

it's stickers with my son - he is nearly 15 and it still bothers him but again easier to avoid than buttons. He hates the sticker residue too if you've not managed to peel it of properly sad Parties used to be a nightmare, now it's mainly bananas or oranges and clothes where they put a checked label on as part of the quality control.

Nowfeeltheneedtopost Mon 08-Jun-15 18:50:18

OP, I think your suggestion of presenting as a choice between full shirt or polo shirt is a good one. I did similar. I showed her the choice between cardigan and jumpers (and we chose jumpers, obv!), between summer dress with zip and summer dress with buttons, bought her trousers and skirts with no buttons, and then that just left the polo shirt!! Somehow by seeing how much I had tried to address her concerns, I think it did help her see that the polo shirt was the only thing she had to try to deal with. I did let her choose whether she left the buttons open or did them up, interestingly she has always insisted that they are done up. As I say, four years later she still has no clothes other than jeans with buttons on but she will wear school polo shirts...

Allyoudude Mon 08-Jun-15 19:12:43

Thanks for all your suggestions and input!

Elibean Wed 10-Jun-15 20:32:35

OP, just wanted to say dd1 is about to finish primary school - but six years ago, I was exactly where you are now. She hated buttons from around the age of 18 months, and had pretty much a full phobia by the time she started Reception.

If you want to pm me, I"m happy to share tips - I've no idea if I've helped her, but I think I managed not to make it worse and she is now fine with wearing buttons. Not her favourite items of clothing, but she will be fine with buttoned shirts at secondary school - having worn nothing but zips/t-shirts till Year 5!

And she was always fine playing with buttons, just not on her own clothes. It has a name, is a bona fide phobia, and my biggest tip is not to force the issue but to teach her that whilst buttons are ok, and you don't mind them, its also fine for her to loathe them and you can respect that and see what a big deal it is for her. I also talked to dd (age appropriately) about phobias, and how sometimes our brains just tell us something is yucky or scary, and it isn't really but the feeling is absolutely real and that - when she is older - she can choose how to manage this. HTH x

fasternet Wed 10-Jun-15 21:59:58

OP just wanted to say I am into my fifth decade as still don't like the things. I know this is completely bonkers, but also that I am far from alone. I find that some are OK like large ones on macs, but anything decorative or small is generally a no no. Polo shirts are a total nightmare. DH threw all his away when he met me because I simply wouldn't touch him when wearing them. However, life has turned out pretty well and I don't think I come across as a batty weirdo hmm, so even if she never grows out of it all is not lost smile

Allyoudude Fri 12-Jun-15 18:59:38

Haha! What interesting stories and experiences..
Thanks elibean, I might need some tips..
I was just chatting about shirts, and she said 2 buttons are OK, but not 6 all the way down.. Fingers crossed!

AMumWhoBakesBoys Thu 13-Jul-17 13:04:52

Hi. M&s now do ones in conjunction with the national autistic society. Long sleeve polos and shirts. They look like buttons but it's actually riptape/Velcro. Wish they did short sleeve polos though!!!

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans Thu 13-Jul-17 13:11:30

I hate how polo shirts look buttoned up all the way.

I'm glad it's not just me. Buttoned collars just look wrong somehow & on polo shirts they look silly IMO. Don't know why.

LittleIda Thu 13-Jul-17 13:14:42

A friend had some zip ones. Not sure where from will have a Google. My dd hated zips so summer dresses had to be button ones!

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