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Feeling shaken and don't really know why

(9 Posts)
insanityscratching Sat 14-Feb-15 13:07:08

In our local newspaper this week is the dreadful story of a SEN TA who has been jailed for many years for child sex abuse. I'm shaken I suppose because he was a TA at dd's primary and saw him and spoke to him though not regularly because he wasn't dd's TA.
Thinking logically dd is fine, nothing happened to her (victims weren't from the school) and DBS checks were all in place and so school did everything they should have I don't really understand why I feel so shaken although probably it's because it's close to home and dd has SEN and TA(s) herself.
Feel really sorry for all the staff as it's a wonderful school that enjoys good relationships with parents and seemingly among themselves so I expect they are all shaken too.

proudmama2772 Sat 14-Feb-15 17:36:18

It is really so scary but it sounds like the good thing is he got caught. It is so sad but for some pedaphiles it is a compulsion where they will stop up at nothing to get near children no matter how vigilant the school.

Insanity, how dreadful. No wonder you are shaken. If it's any help, as a 1:1 TA I never worked individually with my charge in a room with a closed door and usually in a corridor. If I had to use an office I propped the door open with a chair. This was to protect myself as much as anything, of course, but it was common practice among the TAs. Xx

insanityscratching Sun 15-Feb-15 19:40:25

Ellen I think it's just such a betrayal of trust for every parent, child and all the staff in the school.The school is an exceptionally inclusive school,the staff are warm, caring and dedicated and he made himself part of that for five years whilst having carried out and still carrying out horrendous abuse on children. It's sickening that he ever shared the same space as the lovely staff and children in the school. I truly hope he serves every day of the fifteen year sentence in abject misery.

hazeyjane Sun 15-Feb-15 19:45:42

Oh my goodness, it is completely understandable to be shaken up. When something like this happens within the realm of the world we consider to be our safe bubble, it is very scary. Even more upsetting when you have a child who is especially vulnerable.

I am glad your dd is ok, and hope you are too.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sun 15-Feb-15 19:45:54

I think you are absolutely right to feel shaken. It is a massive abuse of trust, of course it is. And while it may be a small comfort to know the victims weren't from dd's school, they were still someone's children.

What would make you feel better? Has the school communicated about it at all? For example, would a letter re-iterating their cp practises make you feel a bit more secure? If you can think of something concrete, then do it or ask for it.

insanityscratching Sun 15-Feb-15 20:23:27

There is a meeting on Monday when we will hear more. With it being the school it is, where there is such openness and the school works so hard to have great relationships between school and home the shock feels even greater I suppose.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sun 15-Feb-15 21:20:23

It sounds like they are a brilliant school. I don't know how you usually are in meetings - can you take someone with you or team up with another parent? Writing down your thoughts and questions in advance may be helpful too. The more communication, the better I think.

I'm thinking of you, your school community and the children involved.

The staff will be shaken as well. This was their colleague that they may well have liked as well as trusted. They'll be feeling guilty for not realising even though he probably put up a very convincing front. They might be feeling a bit defensive in their guilt, I hope not, but you may need to push for some reassurance about their procedures to ensure your DCs' safety.

We had a similar thing happen in a school I worked in. The teacher concerned left just before I started, luckily. sad angry

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