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Help me with some New Year's resolutions for DS (8) re school

(16 Posts)
newrecruit Tue 30-Dec-14 22:26:35

DS is a lovely bright boy but can't be arsed at school.

He's enthusiastic until it comes to do any actual work, easily demoralised and often in trouble for messing about in class.

Part of me thinks, he's only 8, hel

newrecruit Tue 30-Dec-14 22:29:23

Sorry - damn iPhone.

He'll get there but the other half of me is conscious that his 11+ is in 18 months time.

We were talking about New Year's resolutions tonight and I want to come up with some that will motivate him.

I don't care about levels etc, I just want him to be able to concentrate on something for more than 5 minutes & do his homework without world war three breaking out.


MinimalistMommi Wed 31-Dec-14 07:53:35

If he's'so messing around in class it's not a good sign for the 11 +, it sounds like he needs an attitude change. He needs to be prepping for the 11 + for a year or at least 9 months and it takes dedication and self decipline. Are you sure a grammar school is right for him?

DoctorDonnaNoble Wed 31-Dec-14 08:13:00

I teach in a grammar school. Please don't think all our students sit up straight like little passive learning machines. We still have students who 'mess around'. If he's intelligent enough he'll get in.
Have you discussed why he has this 'attitude'? Could you agree a reward system with him?
I always hated doing homework I thought was pointless (grammar school girl) but, if I didn't do it, I didn't get to go to my drama club.

MinimalistMommi Wed 31-Dec-14 08:22:17

Doctor I'm sure they don't all sit upright in class but they would have had to get there first and might have had a different attitude at Primary level. Children tend to 'mess about' more as they mature and want to start impressing friends etc even if they haven't 'messed about' at school. If it's a super selective the competition will be huge and I woild have thought that the signs wouldn't be good if a child is messing about in class and doesn't concentrate for more than five minutes. Just being realistic.

DoctorDonnaNoble Wed 31-Dec-14 08:24:41

It depends on why they're not focused and messing around. Some children do this when they are bored. This is why I think it's important to find out why he's messing around.

MinimalistMommi Wed 31-Dec-14 08:47:28

It might be best if the OP talks to the teacher and find out 'if he can't be arsed' because he is bored and isn't being stretched enough but I would have thought a child needs to be quite diligent about his school work to have a chance of getting into a grammar and 18 months isn't all that long until the 11 + really. My DC is sitting it this September so I'm on the 11 + journey with my DC right now. A child needs to have a certain amount of focus I think.

newrecruit Wed 31-Dec-14 09:56:31

The grammar thing is not so important to me. I just want him to do his best.

We have 2 grammar options. 1 is a traditional all boys grammar which I actually don't think is right for him. The other option is a mixed grammar with a secondary modern next door so cruelly more like a comp. this would suit him much better.

He has always suffered with concentration. He's really easily distracted and struggles to keep still. He is very bright, questions everything, shows amazing ideas but just won't sit till long enough to put it on paper.

So when they are supposed to be doing quiet work he fiddles, chats, distracts and is distracted by others.

Homework is sometimes OK but often like a horse refusing a fence.

I struggle between not wanting him to be something he's not, and helping and encouraging him to be the best he can be.

He is honest about being kept in at play etc, so I don't want to come down so hard on him that he stops telling me. A couple of friends have 11+ tutors already which he is aware of. However it would be completely counter productive for him at the moment.

newrecruit Wed 31-Dec-14 09:58:15

That was suppose to be 'actually' not 'cruelly'smile

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 10:00:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 10:05:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

newrecruit Wed 31-Dec-14 10:16:58

I actually asked him to be moved down a level for his maths homework. He is in top set but couldn't manage the homework.

Turns out the hadn't covered a lot of it in class and weren't expected to be able to do it all. shockconfused

Once he had the easier homework he could do it without adult help and things were calmer.

newrecruit Wed 31-Dec-14 11:38:34

What I realised is that DS is a bit of a perfectionist but this means he is inclined not to bother rather than have a go and not do what he thinks he should.

So the maths. No one was finishing it and everyone was having help from their parents but he was getting frustrated that he couldn't get it all done in the time.

It's this I nee to tackle.

Quitethewoodsman Wed 31-Dec-14 11:50:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MinimalistMommi Wed 31-Dec-14 12:05:36

IPS also do Eleven Plus Secondary School Selection 11+ Daily Pratice Tests available on Amazon which take about ten minutes or less. Shocked that his school were sending home homework that hadn't been covered in class?!

newrecruit Thu 01-Jan-15 11:12:53

I did mention it to his teacher and they are going to look at it.

Basically they just photocopy worksheets from a book and hadn't noticed that they had run ahead confused

DS seems to have discovered a love of the Xbox over Christmas (never bothered before) so I might try to get him to earn time. We don't allow him to play it during the week.

I don't want to say homework before TV because I do want them to come home & relax.

Will give it some more thought.

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