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School Reports: share or not?

(10 Posts)
flexibleworkinghours Tue 16-Dec-14 12:02:49

My son is eight, and recently started at a private school that gives out written school reports, one for each class subject. They also grade the children (A,B,C). The report is very long and fairly detailed (although there are clearly stock phrases in there).

My son was a very high achiever at his last school, which was not a particularly good school (it's why we moved him). In this school he is far more average, and he has been given Bs in two of his favourite subjects. He is used to being top of the class in both of these.

I don't care what grade he gets, but my concern is that if he sees he is doing only OK it will put him off trying. He is doing his best at the moment, and I don't think he should be aiming for As if his natural work level gets him a B. He's only little.

Should I share the reports with him? I am pretty certain that the teachers won't mention them. And there is nothing worrying to flag up: it's all full of nice comments.

Last term I didn't (even though he'd done quite well). I just don't want him to judge or grade himself. i didn't share the reports from the former school either, but these were far more generic, far less inclined to flag any weaknesses and also he was always top in everything!

What do you do? How do you play it?

TeenAndTween Tue 16-Dec-14 12:07:33

I haven't yet shared reports with my now y5. I do summarise though, eg 'well done, it says you are trying very hard, but maybe need to concentrate a bit more in Maths' or whatever.

My secondary DD I do share reports with, though it's only lists of letters and numbers, no words at all.

Theas18 Tue 16-Dec-14 12:13:10

Of course you should share his report with him! Frame it in the terms that the targets have moved and the standards are higher- maybe

"at your old school the kids in year 3 were doing work that was year 3 standard and that was so simple for you , you were always getting full marks and it wasn't helping you achieve as well as you can. In your new school the work is harder - maybe what was the old year 4 standard and you are managing a lot of that really well too, but there are some bits you have still to learn and you will do that in time if you keep trying your best- see those amazing effort marks/how much they appreciate your contribution to class etc.... " this is a lovely report I'm glad you've settled in and are doing so well"

How would that stop him trying or crush his confidence?? Anyway he'll know exactly where he is in the class for subjects, kids just do!

Theas18 Tue 16-Dec-14 12:14:22

How do prople not share reports with kids? Mine always want to know!

Middleagedmotheroftwo Tue 16-Dec-14 12:16:41

I wouldn't be at all surprised if your DS already knows what level he's working at, and what he needs to do to achieve the next level. This is common in secondary school, and also in the last year(s) of primary.

Doesn't his homwork and classwork get marked and graded, and doesn't he see this?

flexibleworkinghours Tue 16-Dec-14 12:25:47

oddly, the feedback on homework is always very blandly positive with no indication of next steps.

Soveryupset Tue 16-Dec-14 13:43:03

Our older children's junior school (also private), gets the children to read the reports, sign them and make comments against them - I think it is a fantastic idea and fully approve of it.

It is about the children having a chance to comment, discuss how they feel about their progress and get some satisfaction from the nice comments as well as some reflection from the improvement ones.

SapphireMoon Tue 16-Dec-14 14:09:38

I think I would share the comments rather than the grades.

redskybynight Tue 16-Dec-14 16:21:17

Will the grades really be news to him? My junior school age DC know all their grades and all those of their classmates

skylark2 Tue 16-Dec-14 19:15:32

Of course you should share it with him. It's his report. And surely an eight year old will already have noticed that he's now average rather than top of the class. He may well be terrified that he will be in trouble with you for it. I think you need to discuss that he's not a medium fish in a small pond any more.

Do they not give grades for effort as well as achievement?

At eight DS went from top of the class and being used by the teacher to correct her spelling at his old pretty dreadful state primary to being
just about above average at his new academically selective junior school. He was initially very worried about not being top all the time any more.

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