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Dd thinks a Teaching assistance doesn't like her.

(6 Posts)
Callmegeoff Thu 11-Dec-14 09:20:17

Dd year 5 has been moaning about one of the TAs. This person teaches the whole class twice a week. According to dd, she has been in trouble on several occasions for being late. A child in after her didn't get told off. I'm not sure how she can be late she leaves in time, but since this, has been leaving 5 minutes earlier.

If she has her hand up for help the teacher goes to everyone else before her. If she verbally asks for helps she gets told to wait her turn. This morning Dd told me she was the only one with her hand up and the teacher completely ignored her, then helped another child as soon as their hand was up.

Dd is well behaved and quiet, she was diagnosed with dyslexia in year 3 and does struggle with some tasks, so I am a bit worried that this is happening.

Any advice on what to do if anything?

BarbarianMum Thu 11-Dec-14 10:53:21

Tricky.

Things like being late - was she or wasn't she? If she was then its fair enough she got into trouble - never mind if other people did or didn't.

It's hard to tell from your post whether your dd has taken against her TA for perceived unfairnesses (being ignored rather than not being seen) or whether there is a real problem (it happens). If you suspect the latter you could either encourage her to ride it out, or maybe have a quiet word with her class teacher as a first step to resolving it.

Alternatively, if your experience of the TA is that she's a reasonable person and their may be two sides to this, you could approach her and the teacher from the point of view of 'my daughter's having some difficulty in these sessions, what can we do to help her'

DeWee Thu 11-Dec-14 11:48:18

The thing is I've heard many times over the year "teacher/TA doen't like me" and I would say 90% of the time it definitely isn't true. Most of the other 10% I have not seen anything either way.

Just that a slight-which may be an accident, and then they look out for other things. Not deliberately, but the time they get chosen last becomes much more significant, and they forget the 20 previous times when they weren't.

The coming in late I would just say that it is more than likely that the techer was aware of a reason. For example, my dd2 had a blood test before school a couple of weeks ago, so I let the teacher know that she might be late. As it happened she came in about 5 minutes late. Another child might have been anoyed that she apparently walked in 5 minutes late and didn't get told off.
Another time I remember dd1 being a bit confused when a dc in her class wasn't getting the usual sanctions for being late-sometimes up to 30 minutes late. However the family had moved across town and had to get 2 buses to school (no spaces at their local) and it was perfectly fair enough that no one could blame the dc for the unreliable buses. When I explained that to dd1 she totally saw the point.

If it continues then it's reasonable to mention at parents' evening that she thinks that. It's possible this TA has a history of having favourites/ non-favourites, in which case the teacher will keep an eye open.

redskybynight Thu 11-Dec-14 12:37:10

Re the coming in late - I was going to say what DeWee said - that the other child may well have had a reason that your DD was unaware of. Also if your DD was late several times, it may well be that she "got away with it once" it was only because it was persistent it was mentioned.

Re- the putting up of hands, does your DD put her hand all the time? If so, the TA may well be trying to give more children the opportunity to speak. Does she ask for help all the time? If so the TA may well be trying to encourage her to work more independently.

Callmegeoff Thu 11-Dec-14 15:30:56

Thanks for the advice, I have no idea if she was late or not she certainly left in good time. Another girl was being bullied so dd offered to walk in with her, this girl now gets dropped at our house every morning, it could be a case that a 10 minute walk has turned into a 20 minute dawdle. Although I now make them leave even earlier.

You are probably right that she is fixating on being treated unfairly though so for the time being I'm going to leave it.

She works as independently as possible but some things she is just not getting, Dh and I spend hours at the weekend helping with her homework. The change in curriculum hasn't helped eg spelling prejudicial when she can't even spell went. But that's an entirely different thread grin

LonelyThisChristmas28 Thu 11-Dec-14 16:37:28

I'm a TA and have done all the things your daughter said before without even realising their hand was up so maybe she just didn't have it high enough as sometimes we don't notice everyhand smile

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