How can ds learn to deal with this?

[meandjulio]

I have no idea how to handle this at all. DS (year 6) has been saying all term that he finds it really hard when his teacher tells the class off collectively. He himself is a rule-keeper - I don't think he's always the angel, but in general he sticks to the rules, and at parents' evening just a few weeks ago he got rave reviews from his teacher.

Today it happened again - he's not telling us much but late in the afternoon his class watched Foundation Stage perform and 'something' happened (presumably some kids in his class mucking about) and they all got told off. He has been really down all evening and has finally gone to sleep saying he never wants to go to school again. I have no idea how to help him! Any ideas so, so welcome

[MillyMollyMama]

Your school will have a behaviour and sanctions policy. I doubt that whole class punishments are the recommended sanction for the type of misdemeanour you describe. I have seen it used before in my DDs school and I complained to the Head of Pastoral Care about it. In a primary school, it would probably be the Head or Deputy. However, if you complain, make sure you have checked the facts first and that you are au fair with the sanctions that are in the school policy. You should also make it clear that this type of punishment is upsetting your DS and it is damaging his perception of school and is impinging on his learning.

It is also very lazy of the teacher to do this because it appears they cannot be bothered to sort out the nuisances and deal with them appropriately. It is not appropriate for the law abiding children to have to put up with their behaviour because it impinges on their learning and well being at school. There also seems to be some sort of belief that the other children, who are punished unfairly, will make the small minority amend their behaviour. It can't, and won't, happen like this. The small number of children who muck about should be dealt with, not everyone. I would bet this is what the behaviour policy and sanction policy says too! I am sure you can sort this out and you cannot be the only parent who feels like this. Perhaps find out what other parents think. Are they saying anything to the school?

[Ferguson]

By Yr6 I am surprised he hasn't got used to some of the unfair and unequal aspects of school life, which are, I'm afraid almost inevitable. (If you DO mean Yr6, and not 6 yrs old?).

Provided he knows he isn't in the wrong, I think he will just have to make the best of it, and ignore the tellings off. And it may be even worse at secondary school (but perhaps you had better not tell him that, in case he doesn't want to go!)