DS new TA is also a parent I know quite well .. How to handle?

[Jennifersrabbit]

Hoping posting in primary education I might get views from teacher and parent sides of the fence!

DS is 8 and has a statement for 20 hours a week support. He has ASD-type issues and his behaviour can be challenging although we have made huge progress :)

His TA has just left and been replaced with an excellent one who's been working elsewhere in the school for some time. She's got great skills for the job, knows DS already and I am very happy with the choice.

She's also a parent whose child is in the year above DS and has been in mixed age classes with him (not this year). We therefore quite often say hello in the playground at pick up and drop off, or we coincide at clubs etc.

What's the thing to do here when we meet casually? I don't want to look like I'm demanding a full update on DS every time we coincide at pick up especially if he's been an arse , but is it weirder not to acknowledge the fact that she's spent all morning with him?

Should I say something to her along the lines that I don't want her to feel I am expecting an update every time and that when we meet on the playground we have our 'parent' hats on?!

Thoughts welcome!

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

Have experienced similar and it was fine. Sometimes we talked a little bit about ds but most of the time it was just general chat. Remember she's been doing this job a while so she's probably quite used to switching between being a TA and being a parent on the playground.

[Apophenia]

Definitely just say what youve said here in your last paragraph. Work is work - outside of that shes being a mum, not staff.

Perhaps just agree to keep talk about DS to pre-arranged times and formal settings?

[3bunnies]

Agree one of Dd1's best friend's mother has been TA to my other two.I tend not to mention what they do in class and don't expect her to either. I might sometimes say 'ds is really enjoying school at the moment, how is x enjoying secondary school?' but only ever positive things about the class which she is teaching. If I had a problem I would only raise it during school hours.

[Jennifersrabbit]

Thanks guys that's really helpful. I was sure it wouldn't be that uncommon a situation. The mum in question is both great for the job and a lovely person so I'm sure we will work it out!

[TheFirstOfHerName]

One of my closest friends has taught all four of my children, in four different school years (the twins are in different classes but she taught one in Y3 and the other in Y5). It was fine, and did not affect our friendship at all.

As the parent, I decided to be quite strict with myself about what we talked about in our social time:
I never asked her to divulge information about other people's children
When we spent time together socially, I chatted about my children (hard to avoid as a mum) but never in relation to their schoolwork.
I never complained about staff members in front of her.
Everything she told me in friendship, I kept to myself and didn't gossip about it to other parents.