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Dd's friend told her he was bunking off school, should I say anything to school? WWYD?

(14 Posts)
marne2 Fri 14-Nov-14 12:24:40

There's a boy in dd's class who she is friends with ( not close friends ), the boy has a lot of time off school and rarely does a full week, I just assumed he must have health issues or maybe a low amuse system but dd has come home several times and told me that this boy has said 'I'm going to stay at home tomorrow and play on my xbox' or ' I wasn't in yesterday as I couldn't be bothered to get up'. I know the school must be doing something as surely his attendance level must be very low but I'm not sure if they realise he is bunking off. I have never seen the boy's mother, she never attends anything, never watches school plays, never comes into the playground to pick him up ( she waits outside in the car ). I know it's not really any of my business, he could be refusing school ( been there with dd2 ) or maybe he is ill bt I don't want dd to think it's ok to bunk off school .

I know I'm likely to be told to keep my nose out. WWYD?

marne2 Fri 14-Nov-14 12:25:13

They are in year 6

ExitPursuedByABear Fri 14-Nov-14 12:27:09

I know I'm likely to be told to keep my nose out.


You can always talk to your DD about how wrong it is.

Floralnomad Fri 14-Nov-14 12:29:31

Its none if your business ,the only time I would say anything is if you knew that his parents thought he was at school and he was roaming the streets .

BitterHoneyGreenNight Fri 14-Nov-14 12:29:53

Leave it. It's none of your business.

Seriouslyffs Fri 14-Nov-14 12:30:59

Does he make his own way to school?

nonicknameseemsavailable Fri 14-Nov-14 12:34:34

well yes and no it isn't any of your business.

I don't see why you couldn't quietly say to the teacher exactly what your daughter has told you. I can't see how that is sticking your nose in to someone else's business, you aren't asking for any information, it is a one way feed from you to the teacher just saying that your daughter has come home and said this. Just say your daughter has come home commenting that someone in the class has said they are bunking off and you don't want your daughter to think this is ok so could they perhaps talk in class about how important it is to attend school unless you are ill? That doesn't name names. if the teacher asks who it is then you could say so but I would guess they probably already would have an idea from his attendance.

It isn't your business in some ways no but equally I do think that it sounds like he might not be lucky enough to have the home support he needs in order to get a good education and perhaps that is in some ways all of our responsibility so that he isn't somehow failed by the system.

tywysogesgymraeg Fri 14-Nov-14 12:38:19

He may well be too ill for school on the days he's not there - but just doesn't want to go public with his reasons.

Leave it!

JennyWren Fri 14-Nov-14 12:40:14

Actually, I would say something. Not in a big, OTT way, but ask for a quick word with the head or class teacher. You can say that this DC has told your DD - he has effectively initiated your concern, and that may even (perhaps subconsciously) been a deliberate request for support. I would make it clear that you don't expect to be told any more information by the school, but if Everyone sees something, and assumes that Someone is doing something about it, the result is often that No-one does it, instead. Perhaps school are actively following up, and it is likely that they are, but perhaps they also need supporting evidence, and by offering a little piece of the puzzle it could help the DC to get the support he needs to access education effectively.

marne2 Fri 14-Nov-14 12:48:47

Dd seems to think he's being left home alone ( just the impression she got ), I'm not sure how he gets to school, maybe bus so maybe his mum has gone to work before he leaves. I don't know and I know it's none of my business to why he's not there, I do feel slightly concerned for him but also concerned that he's telling other children that he is bunking off and getting away with it. Dd and another child joke about him never being there on a Friday ( seems to be most Friday's and the occasional Thursday that he is off ), he used to just tell the other kids that he was off sick but now he's telling them that he couldn't be bothered to go in or spent the day on YouTube or xbox. I'm just worried that my dd will think it's that easy to have a day off, dd has Aspergers so is easily led if given a idea.

Seriouslyffs Fri 14-Nov-14 13:02:41

I think you should talk to school. It's possible that his mum thinks he's at school and he's at home, or setting off to school and doubling back once she's left.

drspouse Fri 14-Nov-14 19:51:03

He may well be too ill for school on the days he's not there - but just doesn't want to go public with his reasons.

If he is, he's giving his classmates the impression that bunking off is OK. So a good reason to get the teacher to point out it isn't. But naming no names.

Dd seems to think he's being left home alone Again, this may not be the case but for many children the idea that this is OK also needs knocking on the head, again naming no names.

MidniteScribbler Fri 14-Nov-14 21:16:36

I would be extremely surprised if the school weren't already aware of this, and working on it. At our school, once the attendance has been taken and sent to the office, any parent who had not called in to say their child is sick gets called to check their whereabouts, and parents must send in a note on their return.

You could mention your concerns about your daughter being influenced by what another student is saying, but I imagine the teacher is already trying to deal with it.

HowDoesThatWork Sat 15-Nov-14 23:50:56

Talk to the teacher. This is a child protection issue. It does not matter if the school already know and are working on it. It would matter if the school does not know and you stayed silent.

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