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Should I complain about this teacher?

(150 Posts)
Allisgood1 Sat 08-Nov-14 17:59:06

Dd is in y1. She is a early birthday (sept) so oldest in her class. She is also very very shy. It probably took a couple months for her to speak in a whisper at nursery and a month in reception.

I had parents evening the other night and DD's teacher had the following to say:

*dd is in the lowest centile in maths
*her writing and reading are in the bottom third of the class.
*she has flagged her to the SENCO because of her age and performance.
*when I mentioned she's always found numbers difficult and I've often wondered if she's dyslexic with numbers she said "it wouldn't surprise me if she is dyslexic. Does it run in your family?"
*dd does not respond to adults, ever. Not even non vocally.
*dd will be having a speaking and listening group as "she needs to learn to respond to adults"

I don't think she had one positive thing to say and I've run through the conversation over and over in my head. Prior to talking to the teacher I had a quick chat with the head who said dd was starting to respond to him, albeit very quietly, and that at an assembly she answered his question quietly in front of everyone. Quite different to "she doesn't talk to teachers, ever".

Dd has a tutor and I've asked her about her performance levels. She says dd is exactly where a child in the autumn term of y1 should be and that she doesn't understand why teacher was so negative. She said dyslexia shouldn't have been mentioned.

Do you think I should go to head teacher about this? I feel the teacher has a v negative attitude towards dd and has flagged her being shy as an issue.

hillyhilly Sat 08-Nov-14 18:01:39

I think that you need to meet with the teacher and the head to discuss your and the teachers concerns over your DD's progress, if her seemingly negative attitude continues it will soon become clear to the head.

Feenie Sat 08-Nov-14 18:03:05

But the teacher was very truthful and told you things you need to hear - she also told you what she was doing about it. She should have told you some positive things also, but it sounds like she is very worried about your rd, with good reason. I think that's the issue you really need to focus on.

PoppyWearer Sat 08-Nov-14 18:03:06

The teacher doesn't sound helpful/supportive.

Have you had your DD's hearing tested, out of interest? It was the talking quietly that made me wonder.

Feenie Sat 08-Nov-14 18:03:39


Cabbagesaregreen Sat 08-Nov-14 18:03:45

Surely most of what she told you was factual so what would you be complaining about? Some of the concerns you shared yourself. I would want to see her on an IEP so you can all agree targets for herald ensure her needs are being met.

Mrsgrumble Sat 08-Nov-14 18:05:27

I think I woud go to the head directly and raise your concerns. However, I would be pressing for further support from your daughter rather than the priority being a complaint about the teacher.

That said, at the end of the meeting I would raise the issue of the teacher being negative.

Totally wrong attitude to portray in a meeting IMO but look after your daughters needs first. Good luck

Feenie Sat 08-Nov-14 18:05:32

Not supportive? She has set up an intervention to develop her speaking and listening skills and referred her to the SENCO confused

Gileswithachainsaw Sat 08-Nov-14 18:07:20

I think your taking facts and problems as a criticism. They aren't. Your dd is who she is and it's not her fault and nothing you have done.

I would perhaps talk to the head and state that the opinions don't match and that perhaps the teacher is having trouble engaging your dd but telling you the facts isn't negative.

Cabbagesaregreen Sat 08-Nov-14 18:07:25

She sounds like a worried teacher who has already taken positive steps to help your daughter - referring her to senco and setting up group for her and you're going to complain?

BackforGood Sat 08-Nov-14 18:07:32

I would generally expect a teacher to find something positive to say about all the children in their class. However, this does often result in the parents hearing the bits they want to hear and ignoring the bits they don't. Maybe this teacher has had this happen quite a bit so has decided to be a bit more blunt ? I don't see that you have anything to complain about though.
If I had heard all that about any of my dc, then I would be focusing on working with the school to see how we could support them, not complaining because a teacher was a bit blunt when reporting on how your dd 'presents' when in school.

Why has she got a tutor?

What did her Reception report say, and what did her Recpetion teachers say at those parents evenings?

Bslami Sat 08-Nov-14 18:07:37

The teacher Sounds very cold. I mean she could have, as you say, began with something like: I saw passing the teapot to x the other day in imaginative play, it was lovely .... rather than just giving you a list of things to worry about.

However, she will only become defensive & possibly evenore negative if you complain, I think. Y1 is waaaaaay to early to make any assumptions about the way your child's school career is going to go. I would ignore what she's said and focus on doing fun things with your daughter that will help her learn without her realising that you're doing it. So no flash cards, etc but yes to baking (counting the bin cases or whatever,etc).

I taught a boy who may well become a prof footballer (signed for a premier club) and he was hopeless at PE in Y1.

Cabbagesaregreen Sat 08-Nov-14 18:08:35

Sneering a question very quietly is not the same as talking.

Cabbagesaregreen Sat 08-Nov-14 18:11:22

Answering not sneering.
Don't ignore what she says.
Often during parents evening teachers have already worked all day and spoken to many parents before you sit down for. 5 minutes I which she had to get across her concerns to you. I often find the last few parents a bit surreal as I am so tired and talked out.

LittleBairn Sat 08-Nov-14 18:12:11

You are being petty your DD seems to have serious issues that the teacher is trying to keep you informed about and get support for your DD. They are short meetings taking time out to create false praise to make you feel better would have taken time away from discussing the important points.

Her flagging her as being shy is an issue if its to the point of not communicating with adults.
Maybe the teacher wasn't aware that she spoke to the HT but as her class teacher she will be more informed about her day to day interactions so her observation is valid.

Ok course your kids tutor is going to tell you what you want to hear.
Is he/she also a class teacher for children that age?

The comment about Dyslexia is valid, as it can run in families. Sometimes funding etc can be speed up for testing if there are concerns about a child who also has a Dyslexic family member.

DoughnutSelfie Sat 08-Nov-14 18:13:53

Strange that the tutor thought you ought not to have brought up the possibility of dyslexia with the teacher. I wouldn't have liked a tutor to discourage me from exploring possible scenarios with my child's teacher hmm

As Feenie points out, teacher has flagged up some concerns and explained how they are to be addressed

Camolips Sat 08-Nov-14 18:15:51

Yes, why do you have a tutor? Have you had concerns yourself?

Coolas Sat 08-Nov-14 18:21:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Coolas Sat 08-Nov-14 18:23:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chewbecca Sat 08-Nov-14 18:25:20

Reminds me in some ways of a parents evening we had in reception for DS. His teacher spent 10mins talking about how disorganised he was and pushed the negatives. I asked outright how were his maths and english and teacher answered 'oh fine, fine', but he needs to sort his organisation out etc etc.

I was disappointed at the time but, with hindsight, she was only trying to help and flag the concerns she had. He did well that year, she knew him well.

Yes, it is annoying when only -tive things are said about your pfb but it sounds like this teacher is doing everything she can to help your child progress and a complaint seems inappropriate.

lunar1 Sat 08-Nov-14 18:26:58

I would not want a teacher for my child that couldn't say a single positive thing.

Pico2 Sat 08-Nov-14 18:28:41

I'd be concerned that she had waited until parents evening to raise her concerns with you, given that she didn't have anything positive to counterbalance with.

bananaramadramallama Sat 08-Nov-14 18:29:14

I think I prefer dealing with facts tbh, maybe the teacher was a bit cold but what has she said/done that you are not content with?

An intervention group for interaction is excellent I would have thought - rather than leaving your daughter to keep struggling on. YY to keeping an eye out for possible additional learning requirements, too - it sounds like even though this teacher might not be quite what you expected, she is making sure your daughter is not forgotten about.

Also wonder why a child in yr 1 needs a tutor?

Moreisnnogedag Sat 08-Nov-14 18:29:39

Actually I think your teacher is being very proactive. Whilst your tutor may not be keen, I thought early intervention is much much better and can often nip problems in the bud than if they are left to become major issues later.

I get that you want to hear positive things, but I generally think that we are adults and fluffing things only serves to muddy the message. Although that list could be seen as quite negative, it does show that the teacher is paying attention to your child's progress and is working towards individualised help for her. Surely you'd be more pissed if you had a meeting next year outlining all these things and someone said x or y could have been done earlier.

spanieleyes Sat 08-Nov-14 18:29:57

I wouldn't want a teacher for my child that couldn't say a negative thing!

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