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End of year gift for teacher - am I being mean?

(19 Posts)
Blossom8 Wed 09-Jul-14 13:47:51

So one of the parents asked for �5 from all parents (26) to give to the teacher and TA as part of the end of year present, so they get �65 each in gift vouchers. I was also going to get them a card. Surely �65 is enough? The same parent now wants an extra �5 so each teacher will get �130. I feel a little miffed as give them �130 each for their christmas present.

I don't like the idea of the parent telling all of us to contribute �10, how about to contribute �5 and more if you can or am I just being a meanie?

ChickenFajitasAndNachos Wed 09-Jul-14 13:51:12

No you are not being a meanie. It isn't on that one of the parents has just decided to change things. I used to just do my own thing because of this happening.

rabbitstew Wed 09-Jul-14 13:53:07

I think the parent needs her head examining. Teachers don't teach so that they will get presents - it's merely supposed to be a gesture of appreciation, not a bribe to be nice to all your kids, fgs. It's also unfair on parents who actually find giving that much money a stretch, particularly if they have more than one child...

WanttogotoDisney Wed 09-Jul-14 13:54:00

No you are not being mean. Do what you can afford. My DC's nursery has asked for �50!!!!!! from each leaver to buy a piece of equipment and they can bugger off it they think I am paying that.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Wed 09-Jul-14 13:54:13

Ridiculous in my opinion. We had a collection first few years but it was optional and whatever you could. I prefer to do it myself. We have never actually bought a gift, we usually actually only give a card/letter thanking them. Last year DS2 teacher was fantastic, well over and beyond etc so I sent an email to the Head and cc'd them so they could use it for appraisals etc.

This year on the back of a MN thread we are giving an apple and card and DS1 teacher will get the email too as she has really been exceptional.

ChickenFajitasAndNachos Wed 09-Jul-14 13:55:08

50 quid, blimey!

MaxsMummy2012 Wed 09-Jul-14 13:55:43

Um as a primary school teacher I would be utterly embarrassed to receive such an expensive gift (£65) let alone (£130) which is just crazy. I agree that you shouldn't be dictated to by another parent either, £10 is a lot to splash out, you are definitely NOT being a meanie.

FatalCabbage Wed 09-Jul-14 13:56:45

Another thread agrees £5 as a sensible maximum, not minimum.

But there are plenty of people in the world very good at being generous with other people's money.

WanttogotoDisney Wed 09-Jul-14 13:57:08

North London private nursery full of PFBs. Ridiculous and I can't wait for my DC to leave next week.

ChickenFajitasAndNachos Wed 09-Jul-14 13:59:35


Blossom8 Wed 09-Jul-14 14:00:29

my DS goes to our local private school (one of the cheaper ones!) and some of the parents like myself work very hard on a modest income to afford the school fees and budget accordingly.

I just don't agree that the parent representing the PTA telling all parent to give a tenner. I appreciate and value the teachers hard work but we are not all rich. �130 for each teacher and TA at Christmas is fine but not again for end of the year as I think �65 is fair. But how can I tell the parent politely without being pointed as the mean one.

daisydalrymple Wed 09-Jul-14 14:01:22

We've been asked for £12 each by one of the keenie organising type mums. I just said we'd already got pressies as could see years of being dictated to (dd is reception). Ds is yr 2, i have 2 teachers and 6 teaching assistants to buy for, - which i'm happy to do. But i may not always have the spare £12(or im sure by christmas i'll have "its gone up to £15...") what with the frequent £1 no uniform day and 2x per half term bring in chocolates/footballs etc towards the next school fair!

Minnieisthedevilmouse Wed 09-Jul-14 14:02:34

Good grief. They get a card. That dc have made.

Seriously. That's ridiculous.

pointythings Wed 09-Jul-14 14:15:54

I'm shock at this - nothing like it has ever happened at our primary. The norm is cards, this year I am making homemade earrings for both Yr6 teachers as they have both contributed enormously to making DD2's final year memorable but that's it.

I would absolutely refuse to be part of any drive towards a collection.

manyhatson Wed 09-Jul-14 14:16:10

A parent in our reception class organised a collection and suggested a £10 contribution to include the teacher and the TA but I'm sure some people gave more or less according to their own circumstances. I gave £10 total and I'm also giving them a bottle of prosecco each as a personal thank you. Knowing a good few teachers as I do, I think that will be equally desired and appreciated... ;)

worldgonecrazy Wed 09-Jul-14 14:19:18

Wow - we used to get the teacher a chocolate orange from the whole class!

ElephantsNeverForgive Wed 09-Jul-14 14:37:01

Collections are great, so long as it's a totally voluntary drop something in a brown envelope when passing, no reaction if you don't kind of collection.

Mostly, I managed to be utterly disorganised and forget to get anything for the teachers at the end of the year. More likely to manage at Christmas. But even then I've forgotten to get things to job shares before their last day.

Only once have I been really organised and bought something very specific, but that was for DDs teacher of 3 years who was also changing schools. She had sorted out enough pastoral care and academic to have earned it 100 times over.

ChocolateWombat Wed 09-Jul-14 16:27:08

Collections can be great and should actually be a cheaper way to get gifts than everyone buying individually. To really work and be inclusive, they need to be voluntary and also the amount needs to be voluntary. It doesn't matter that one person may have given 50p and another £10 and I think the names of all the children should go on the card, regardless of whether anything was given.
When it is all voluntary and discretionary, you don't know how much you will raise. You just wait and see and buy a gift based on the amount. If it is a lot, fine, if it is just enough for a bottle of wine from the entire class, fine.
I think the mistake comes when a Rep or other well meaning person gets a figure in their head about how much they want to spend and works backwards to how much that is per head. These figures are often too high, or not flexible enough. The 'one size fits all' approach is not good, because in every single type of school there will be people with different levels of wealth and different views on how much they want to give.

I guess those who give more, need to be happy that the teacher will not know they gave more, than the person who gave 50p. I'm pretty sure the teacher is glad to get a gift and doesn't care who gave more and who gave less.

Blossom8 Wed 09-Jul-14 17:17:31

rightly put ChocolateWombat. Our parent rep wants all parents to give the same amount which I think is unfair and too dictactor like. Not only that, I quite like the idea of my DS making her/buying her own teacher's gift and handing this over to the teacher herself as I think it is more personable.

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