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What is wrong with my daughter?

(53 Posts)
Etah Sat 28-Jun-14 11:29:33

She is 7 and is considered dyslexic, not sure if the school is doing enough but she is getting better at reading...unless well below her peers. Her teacher keeps complaining she is not reading the book in her book bag but it is too difficult for her. She reads at home but mostly pictures book for young children. Spelling is still a struggle.

I sat down to do some maths with ther this morning and she can not work out:

_ + 1 = 3

4 + _ = 4

and other similar problems.

This was on a computer website recommended by the school.
Usually she does staff like this for homework, I have to seat beside her with beads or numicon, she struggles but works out the answers eventually.
Today she couldn't do it easily all by herself not even using her fingers.

Don't get me started on times tables.

It is so frustrating and I know I must handle it better. I want to give her a good childhood with lots of extra curricular activities and interesting things to do and lots of play time but now I am starting to think I am doing it all wrong and should give up swimming, ballet, drama, playground, park and just stay at home teaching her.

The only way I can pay any kind of tutoring is if I cut any of the activities above which I struggle very much, save and go without myself to provide for her.

I am glad I am not working in August, so instead of spending the days out having fun I will mostly concentrate on working with her at home. She will still have few days holidays with GPs though.

Also I need to go and talk to teacher and SENCO again, don't I? Always when I do (not a lot though, but I had to push for a dyslexia assessment) I feel like I am being U and it is my fault I don't do enough at home, and I am one of "those" parents...don't I know she will "click" eventually?

I can't believe she will start Y3 like this!

What do you think?
Am I over reacting?

sashh Mon 30-Jun-14 09:52:09

I want to give her a good childhood with lots of extra curricular activities and interesting things to do and lots of play time but now I am starting to think I am doing it all wrong and should give up swimming, ballet, drama, playground, park and just stay at home teaching her.

Please don't give up all those activities.

You have a dd who struggles with school but, I assume, enjoys and may be good at her activities and you want to take away all the fun stuff to make her do more of the stuff she is not good at?

This is going to sound harsh but if you do that you are going to have a child who believes they are useless at everything.

Ballet and drama in particular are helpful to dyslexics - the ballet involves coordination and timing. Drama, if she keeps it up will involve her learning lines, that will give her a means to an end, she will have to read in order to learn lines and it might take her longer than other people to learn but she will do it because she will have to if she wants a part in a play.

You have been given lots of very good advice about the actual learning/reading.

One final thing, do you have access to a friendly dog? I don't know what the evidence is for dyslexics but I know many children befet from reading a story to a dog.

LemonSquares Mon 30-Jun-14 12:19:50

I do get that bronya - I understand it not magic and it won't affect decoding skills hmm.

However I have read at least one research paper that looked at their effect over a considerable block of time with a significant number of DC diagnosed with dyslexia looking at one group with and one without having done as much as possible. There was no statistical difference in progress between the two groups – who were treated the same other than the overlays ie other remedial work continued.

There are many studies out there like you describe- in fact whole area is very poorly researched with studies often having very small numbers tested.

So as far as I can tell there is no research proving that coloured overlays have any effect for most dyslexia - and yet it's the first thing most schools hand out as a best that can be done - mainly I think because it's cheap.

I'm not saying that some people don't find overlays the beneficial - however that could be because either they have a sub condition that is improved or its the placebo effect - ie there is a perceived improvement because they person given the overlay expects there to be one.

I wouldn’t knock even placebo improvement in my DC – but that didn’t happen and we gave it a good try and I've tried it myself and I've noticed no difference - not in stamina or eye strain or anything.

I suspect that dyslexia is a much more umbrella set of conditions leading to problems with reading and writing. The issues I have with reading and writing are very different to those other dyslexics I have known – and I can see the difference in my DC problems.

I feel you do have to do your research as education as a whole is full of pseudo science and opinions presents as fact but this is so much worse in areas like dyslexia.

I couldn't get hard research backing engaging eyes - but the theory behind seemed to be there and we decided that it was worth a punt. DD1 has made massive improvements starting about a month after she started - can't prove it was that but we think it is.

OP I woudn't give up activties - phonic work can be as little as 10 minutes everyday - maths 20 minutes and over time you can see a difference.

Etah Mon 30-Jun-14 12:45:39

No. I won't give up the activities. She wants to give up ballet but I will not let her do it. She is doing very well.

I will organise myself and make a plan to do a bit of formal learning everyday. And I must REMEMBER to incorporate the learning at the mundane everyday life as much as I can.

Thanks again.

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