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My daughter is struggling : (

(16 Posts)
Magic7 Tue 24-Jun-14 22:30:54

My three eldest went into school able to read chapter books. My gorgeous little one is now being put in focus groups (is this the same thing as SEN?).

I feel guilty. I feel it's my fault. I gave my others so much extra time to learn. Is this the difference or are children just different, regardless of input. Feel I've let her down.

Also, she has just had grommets in. Could this be a cause of her struggling so much?

Feel bad as the others have found reading and writing so easy. And I can't help feeling it's because I spent so much time with them outside of school. She's only in reception so I guess I can turn things around for her?

Feel ridiculous really - she's only 5 for goodness sake. But to be told she needs extra help feels like she's already been labelled!!

HumphreyCobbler Tue 24-Jun-14 22:33:59

not being able to hear will have had an impact on her ability to read but do try not to compare to your older children, regardless of what you often read on MN it isn't that common for children to be able to read chapter books when they start reception! IME as a teacher there are usually one or two children per class who are confident readers when they start school, sometimes none.

Focused help is a good thing, not labelling! I would talk to the teacher and find out exactly where your dd is.

HumphreyCobbler Tue 24-Jun-14 22:34:47

sorry, that post is v disjointed, I am very tired

Magic7 Tue 24-Jun-14 22:39:40

Ha ha. Thought you were referring to mine Humphrey. Thanks for replying!

fizzly Tue 24-Jun-14 22:41:42

just as a note: I have a very good friend who really struggled in school YR-Y2 - had grommets and very poor hearing - she was 7 by the time it was sorted. She went on to be incredibly successful at school, university and has a phenomenal job.She remembers her early years at school as being challenging though.

And yes, reading chapter books at 4 is definitely not what marks out a successful child/school career!!

Safeinourbubble Tue 24-Jun-14 22:46:05

Magic - it is the other way round. You have chosen an excellent school that is on the ball and is identifying and meeting your DD's needs.

Not hearing well does have an impact on language development and so, literacy, but the grommets should make a huge difference.

Don't beat yourself up. Definitely go talk to her teacher and explain your concerns - hopefully, he/she will put your mind at rest. Any issues found at five can be sorted - it is such a window of opportunity.

MerryMarigold Tue 24-Jun-14 22:48:21

I think all children are different. I'm sure you know that with 4! Try and concentrate on the things she does well. Perhaps she is just not an 'academic' child (I put it in inverted commas because I don't personally like the word much).

I have 2 children who struggle with school and 1 who loves it and finds it easy. The ones who struggle have different qualities. They seem to just enjoy/ love living LIFE (as opposed to sitting and learning by rote), they have wild imaginations, they can amuse themselves for hours on end, they invent, they draw, they're totally unstructured. It's hard to explain but they just bring sparkle wherever they go. It is possible they are both dyslexic (looking into that). I just think school is made for some kids and not others, sadly.

Try to enjoy her as she is. Yes, you can help, but if she is not 'that kind' of child who slots into the school system, she will be very unhappy trying to be turned into that kind of child.

ILoveCoreyHaim Tue 24-Jun-14 22:57:49

My dd2 I had an ongoing battle with the school and SEN teacher re her being so far behind. Finally in YR3 we got a new head and she arranged someone to come in and assess her. They arranged one to one support and gave her tools to learn. She got a lot of one on one both from outside and inside the school and finally at the end of YR5 she is absolutely speeding along and catching up to to the others. She streaming through the reading levels. She is much happier now and understands better.

At least it sounds like your dd is in a school who are going to help if she needs it.

MerryMarigold Tue 24-Jun-14 23:00:39

Corey, what was your dd's issue (sorry to derail?)

Changelenom Tue 24-Jun-14 23:03:59

My DD has extra help. She is in Yr 1 and struggles with her reading and has extra help. Yet she has an exceptional vocabulary and in other aspects appears to be very bright. I spent loads of time doing things with her prior to school and she's never shown an interest in learning to read- yet she'll ask me all sorts of philosophical questions.

I think it's a developmental thing. Some children are late walking, some late talking, some late readers.

cece Tue 24-Jun-14 23:10:41

My late reader in Reception has just scored a level 5 in his most recent reading test in Year 5.

It sounds like this is a positive, she is getting extra help.

ILoveCoreyHaim Tue 24-Jun-14 23:25:08

Merry they still don't seem to know tbh. When they done some tests with her a bit you would normally fail on (which she did) means you would normally fail on another bit (she didn't and got them all correct). They said it was a learning delay at first but I think it's something else. You couldn't say to her xxx go to the blue bookcase and get the red book off the second shelf as too much info to process. If your on a bus and the doors open you have to tell her to get off. She has something wrong with regards to processing info. She's on at maths but has really struggled with reading and writing. They now sit her at the front away from windows and make sure they go over what they are doing so she understands. She's not getting help anymore but is doing fine with what they have put in place in school for her.

ILoveCoreyHaim Tue 24-Jun-14 23:26:15

I think she has auditory processing disorder.

ILoveCoreyHaim Tue 24-Jun-14 23:31:29

Whatever the woman was doing who came into the school to help has been doing has worked. She also has to advise her teacher what to do to help her. She gets taken out the class and gets one on one which she has always been given. Tbh I'm not too impressed with her SEN teacher, thankfully with the change of head she went through all the kids she was seeing and arranged assessments. Other parents were having problems as well with her. She's still there but not in charge anymore

MerryMarigold Wed 25-Jun-14 01:43:32

Thanks. Always on the look out for ideas. X

DeWee Wed 25-Jun-14 10:22:29

My ds is in year 2 and currently on his third set of grommets.

One thing I found was that some sounds he couldn't hear. He would come home and give me the really exciting information that he'd just discovered: "Did you know, mummy, that sh and ch shouldn't actually sound the same?" which they'd been doing in phonics.

This happened over several different sounds.

Most of the time he compensates really well, but I didn't realise how much actual sounds he was missing until he started coming out with these things.

If you then realise how many sounds they are missing, it makes sense for them to struggle with phonics. I think doing look and say initially for ds made a huge difference to his reading. He then could believe the phonic sounds even if he couldn't actually hear the difference himself.<awaits hanging from phonic cheerleading team>

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