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would you mention this to school? And if so what response would you expect?

(24 Posts)
MitziKinsky Tue 13-May-14 22:32:40

DD is in Y4 (8yo) and has a sports coach who takes herclass for PE for one afternoon a week? DD rhinks this coach is great. He's young and ap
aparently very funny.

Last week he told DD he has posted some mincraft stampy style vidoe thingys on youtube, but they had some swearing in and she shouldn't look at them. He also said he made them ages ago and he was going to make some with no swearing which would be appropriate for children to view.

The first I knew of this was when I realised DD was viewing the sweary minecraft video,which DD had easily found on youtube, along with all the other youtube posts from this person, which include a satuday night out of a uni student in a major morthern city. All what you'd expect but not what you'd want your granny or 8yo to see. (Also because of the settings on pc some of the videos were blocked)

Now I think this yong man has been a bit naive, but also a bitconcerned that DD seems to think extreme swearing is ok because Mr X said it.

I'm torm between geting the coach in to trouble
e and pointing out to him he has been very unproffessional.

(Sorry on ereader with no spell check)

cutefluffybunnes Tue 13-May-14 22:36:21

Yes, he was naïve (kinda stupid) to point an 8-year-old towards sweary videos and drunken videos of himself. You should talk to him, or to the school, so that he learns how to act professionally.

But why are you letting your 8yo loose on YouTube? She could find a whole lot worse than that!!

nancy75 Tue 13-May-14 22:36:53

My dd is 8, she only uses the internet when I am able to supervise what she is doing. I think that would be a good place for you to start.

MitziKinsky Tue 13-May-14 22:51:48

I was in the same room as DD,two metres away moving some books..she was on different website initially and it took her seconds to access this ... I spun around soon enough when I heared what she was looking at. It's not that I went out for the afternoon and left her surfing the net unsupervised.

northlondoncat Tue 13-May-14 22:58:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

northlondoncat Tue 13-May-14 22:59:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sassysally Tue 13-May-14 23:01:56

I don't know.I mean it's not like facebook.You can look at anything on youtube .If she searched for minecraft she's find lots of sweary videos anyway.

Martorana Tue 13-May-14 23:02:25

I wouldn't mention it to the school-but I would certainly mention it to him. He is being, at best naive.

Trollsworth Tue 13-May-14 23:04:35

To be honest, as he is coaching eight year olds, he probably wrongly assumed that their parents have the sense to supervise their YouTube use.

You either supervise them properly or you don't complain if they find swears. You can't have it both ways. The coach hasn't done anything wrong. He specifically told her not to look.

cutefluffybunnes Tue 13-May-14 23:05:19

It would be in his best interests to mention it to him. This kind of thing could get him in a lot of trouble.

Block YouTube. Mine know if I catch them watching anything on YouTube unsupervised (and that means me pre-screening stuff), they lose computer access for a week.

redskyatnight Wed 14-May-14 09:10:51

My DS has found stuff on YouTube when he has been looking for something innocuous. So any use of YouTube needs to be carefully monitored.

In fairness to the man he clearly said they were not for children - I say this to my DC all the time and I would be seriously disappointed if they then went and tried to find them anyway. You have no idea of the context in which this was raised - maybe he was asked if he had anything on YouTube and he felt he should reply truthfully?

Xihha Wed 14-May-14 09:38:06

He warned her they had swearing in and that she shouldn't look at them, I think you would be better off having a word with your daughter about looking things up when she has been told they aren't suitable.

MumTryingHerBest Wed 14-May-14 10:11:29

I think you need to accept that you DD is going to be exposed to swearing more and more as she gets older and travels around more independently. You need to think about how you are going to address this fact with her.

My DS was 5 when he came over asking me what C U Next Tuesday meant as he had just read some graffiti at the top of the slide.

Some of my DSs (yr4) friends at school come out with swear words that make me cringe, often because they have heard them said but have no idea what they really mean. I will add that the worst words appear to come from the children with siblings much older than they are.

The way I have put it to him is that hearing the words are one thing but repeating them are a different matter and one that I will come down hard on him for.

I have also explained that often people use swear words because they don't have the range of vocab to express what they are saying in a more acceptable way. As he is bright I feel he is more than capable of expressing himself without resorting to bad language.

So far he has accepted this and I've never heard him swear. Its quite possible he swears when I'm not around e.g. break time at school. However, I have to trust that he will use his own judgement and refrain from using bad language, after all, as he gets older I won't be around him 24/7.

Swoosg Wed 14-May-14 10:56:30

This is a bit of a dumb question, but how do you block youtube on a tablet?

PassTheSherry Wed 14-May-14 11:31:17

We have an iPad Air and before handing it over I go into
Settings > General > Restrictions > Websites > Specific websites only. There follows a drop down list of various child friendly ones that you can customise/add to. All other ones will be password locked.

Probably depending on what tablet you have, the procedure will vary but I would think they have some sort of similar thing, just have a look through your menus.

Swoosg Wed 14-May-14 11:37:02

Okay - will do. Just realised that I have been very lax about youtube!

Elibean Wed 14-May-14 11:41:30

I think he was silly to mention it to the kids at all. Why not wait until he'd made the new, kid friendly version?!

Probably couldn't resist telling them, which is understandable - being young and presumably enthusiastic - but its a bit boundary-less. IMO.

I would tell him what happened, rather than speak to the school.

We blocked YouTube when our eldest was around 8, but it was such a faff putting it back on every time one of us needed to access something that we decided simply to make a 'no YouTube without permission and supervision' rule. The dds are 10.5 and 7.5 and it seems to work still <wonders how long for, given dd1 being dd1>

Elibean Wed 14-May-14 11:42:24

Should add that we have computers, ipads etc and if we block YouTube on one, it seems to get blocked on all of them confused

sugarhoops Wed 14-May-14 12:12:18

In defence of the OP, my 7yo son was doing some squeebles spelling tests on my ipad the other day, I only left the room to wipe a bottom (not mine I might add!) and when I returned he had gotten online and was on a website about some weird gun-toting action film soon to be released. No idea how he got there so quickly.

So I'm going to do as passthesherry suggests on my ipad and block some of the sites that can lead to dodgier stuff (eg youtube etc although mine not discovered the joys of youtube yet, we never use it at all!).

My 2 school age kids also have outside sports coaches who come into school to do PE - they are completely lovely but also, like OP says, fairly young and I guess naive. I think they're brilliant though as our school has no male teachers at all, so 2 lovely young lads who come in and do PE each week are a godsend (IMO). I would just mention to the coach (if you can) in a friendly way - not to suggest anything like that again as you found your son looking for the sweary ones on youtube. No need to make a big issue of it (for now).

sugarhoops Wed 14-May-14 12:12:53

Sorry, your daughter!!

PassTheSherry Wed 14-May-14 12:37:40

Oops sorry OP, my previous post was referring to websites when your question was clearly about apps, silly me.

In which case it's
Settings > General > Restrictions > Allowed Content > Apps >
And you can tick the age restriction option.

If you tick 9+ for example, then YouTube will be hidden, along with any other for ages 9 and over.

Our iPad is password restricted to immediate, so they can't use it by themselves without asking myself or their Dad, e.g. If they get up early (they are 5 and 6) and go downstairs before us. So they can only use it in our presence. It also locks after two minutes if they leave it lying around.

newbieman1978 Wed 14-May-14 12:39:51

Something you definately need to take to the headtecher or school safe guarding lead.

The coach has pointed childen towards inapropriate material and whether he has done that on purpose or through naivety it certainly needs to be addressed.

I'd like to know the thinking behind telling an 8 year old about something inapropriate on the internet that they "shoudln't" look at?

100% something the school need to be aware of and deal with and I'm sure anyone who has done safe guarding training will agree.

MitziKinsky Wed 14-May-14 19:15:41

newbieman, that was my thinking.

If I'm honest DD has been exposed to swearing (yes I have been known to swear) but it was the "cool" factor that was bothering me.

I have informed school - the acting head teacher is very wet nice and gentle, and I know will handle this sensitively, explaining to Mr X this wasn't really appropriate.

Thank you all for pointing out about YouTube. I realise I have been very naive not blocking it.... I use it a lot, but only ever see what I search for, as I put in exactly what I want, so it didn't occur to me to block it. [embarrassed]

I'm now wondering what else I should block?!

RaisinBoys Wed 14-May-14 20:35:10

I'm with newbie. I'd be straight on to school. The sports coach has acted naively at best.

He should not be having discussions with 8 year olds about websites and content he knows is inappropriate.

Of course children are going to encounter swearing but I don't expect those in loco parentis to be signposting them to it.

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