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X bullies ds. X's mum suggests 'mediation' for ds to 'understand X'

(8 Posts)
firstchoice Mon 03-Mar-14 20:06:47

Am completely frustrated.
Ds attends primary.
He has been bullied, on and off, for 2 years.
School does nothing.
He finds it hard to 'speak up' and when we do we are ignored.
1 particular child, X, bullies him almost daily.
Sometimes outright bullying - pushing off walls, cornering in toilet cubicles, deleting ICT work,
sometimes more subtle - name calling, pushing in line, occupying 'space' right in my sons face etc.
He bothers the rest of the class too, but my ds most of all.

School continue to do nothing but say they are 'monitoring' it.
Finally, last week, my ds spoke to his CT, DHT, and HT in one day about it all. Brave lad.

Tomorrow we meet senior education officer from LEA.
We met her 2 weeks ago and described in detail some of the incidents.
She said: 'there is bullying in all schools'. When we got the minutes, there was NO mention of any of the examples we had raised. Just like it didn't exist.

Tonight, we get email from HT, who isn't coming to meeting tomorrow and about whom we have complained, to say that X's mother has suggested that there is mediation between the boys to 'improve their relationship' and so ds can 'understand x'. The school seem to think this is a super idea and suggest we use tomorrows meeting to agree it.


Littlefish Mon 03-Mar-14 20:44:39

Have you had a copy of the school bullying policy? Are the school following their own guidelines.

At the meeting, ask for the minutes from the last meeting to be amended to reflect the examples you raised.

Be very clear with everyone at the meeting that the onus of any support should be to ensure that your ds is protected, and that it is the responsibility of the school to ensure that your child is safe, and that the other child understands that their behaviour is completely unacceptable and that there will be consequences if the behaviour is repeated.

Are both you and the school keeping a log of all the incidents?

firstchoice Mon 03-Mar-14 21:15:28

We are keeping a log, school are denying incidents, even though ds is reporting them and my other child (and other children) have witnessed them. I have seen a couple myself when passing playground (coming in with supplies). Or school will refer to them as 'niggles' (like being spat at in a toilet cubicle...).

The school has a reputation for failing to deal with bullying and the SEO simply saying: 'it happens in all schools' is imo piss poor. They have a bullying policy but it is window dressing.

I am just :O to get an email from HT telling me they intend to proceed as the bullying child's mum (good friends with HT) has suggested....

Also may be relevant that there was recently a mass protest by parents re the way this class has been treated in general (endless changes of teacher etc). The LEA only allowed 3 parents out of 25 to attend a meeting about it. One of those 3 was X's mum....

mummytime Mon 03-Mar-14 21:20:16

Is there any other school you could move your son to? Or even appeal for?

I would also make notes tomorrow (or even take a McKenzie friend) to keep notes for you. Do also email or write all complaints and to re-enforce what you believe has been said.

morethanpotatoprints Mon 03-Mar-14 21:23:44

Hello OP, good advice from above, but ask for a time ref/suggest a time for all the above to be put in place.
Send email to HT, sorry you are unable to attend with references stating what you want/as in the above and by what time.
Tell HT that this has been going on for 2 years they have had enough time to sort and unless immediate action is taken to your satisfaction you will inform Ofsted.
That should do it.

CocktailQueen Mon 03-Mar-14 21:27:06

Complain to board of governors. This is ridiculous. Crap ht. your poor son.

firstchoice Mon 03-Mar-14 21:29:11

No board of govorners.
Have taken it to LEA.
This is a Lead Senior Education Officer sanctioning this.

Nowhere else to go except leave the school and disrupt 2 children and sell house (small rural area)

SpecialAgentFreyPie Mon 03-Mar-14 21:35:09

My experience of 'mediation' though it was high school, is usually enormous pressure to put up and shut up. Not to mentionm how intimidating it is to be put in the same room with your bully who basically gets off on it, then becomes much worse. Then the school will argue it's 'been dealt with' angry

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