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Reading with the DCs....does your partner get involved too?

(21 Posts)
SaveTheMockingBird Thu 27-Feb-14 10:40:11

DS is in Reception and I aim to get him to read a story himself about every other dayish, not every day as he is not that keen and I don't want to push him too much. We read a lot of books to him too.

What annoys me is that if it were left to DH, DS would never get any reading practise. He likes reading to him, but never encourages him to practise any reading. DS is only still little, so not really an issue at the moment, but I'm starting to wonder if I am going to be responsible for all the DCs reading practise (have a 3yr old who will be starting reception in sept too). DH is there for dinner time and bedtime, so it's not like he doesn't have the time.

He also doesn't know any phonics so when I on the rare occassion he helps DS with his reading, he sounds out the words completely wrong, and ends up confusing DS. I'm the only one who updates DS's reading record, finds other reading books for DS to read, helps him with blending and spelling etc etc.

Anybody else in this position or do your partners help out with reading etc?

drivenfromdistraction Thu 27-Feb-14 10:47:37

My DH is home for dinner and bedtime. He does more of the school reading books than I do (we have 3 DC, so it has tended to work out that i am getting the youngest to sleep while he is doing reading with the elder two.)

I didn't understand phonics when my DC1 started nursery, but I read the information sheet the school gave us explaining it. It's not rocket science. DH already knew it (claims he was taught to read that way, though he's the same age as me so I can't quite believe that).

We have a system where whoever's heard the DC read has to update the book and put the reading folder in the right place. I must admit though that I am the only one who does spellings, and I am the one who keeps track of when the folder needs to go to school. DH supervises DS1's piano practice (he can play and I can't) but it's me that tells them both to go and do it!

I am thinking of instituting a set 'homework time' where both DH and I are helping with the various activities, so that it's not always up to me to think about what needs to be done and when.

HermioneSnape Thu 27-Feb-14 10:50:22

I have to actively include DH, its not that he's being lazy or spiteful, I just don't think he thinks about it, its like cleaning the toilet, he think the fairies do it grin

I collect the book, spellings, homework and shout to DH, "come and do these with DS". and he then gets up and does it.

No grumbling or moaning, more like "oh yes, come on then DS"

I think DH definitely has a different approach to these things than me, he makes it more a game, doesn't let DS give up as easily, generally has a bit more patience than me, (probably as he doesn't do it as often as me).

A bit like the argument for more males in the classroom, I really think its important for DS to be taught by DH as well as me.

Googleplexmania Thu 27-Feb-14 10:58:58

No. He doesn't. In pretty much everything tbh.

LadyEnglefield Thu 27-Feb-14 11:04:40

DP will always help with reading, violin practice & homework but only if I ask him to.

Left to his own devices it wouldn't cross his mind to get the DCs working, he'd happily leave them playing on their IPads all day!

SaveTheMockingBird Thu 27-Feb-14 11:07:53

yeah DH will do it if I tell him to, although he will get the phonics wrong, and I have told him to learn (and it is indeed not rocket science!) it properly, so that he can help DS. I just feel that the onus in on me all the time and I feel like I am the "bad guy" always trying to get DS to read a bit on his own.

Ironically DH is a teacher himself (secondary science, not primary), so fully knows how parental involvement and encouragement is important to do well at school, but I think he probably thinks DS is still too young or I'm being too pushy perhaps. Or maybe he wants to take the easy way out like the way he always leaves me to battle with the kids over brushing teeth and if I leave him to do it he "forgets"

accessorizequeen Thu 27-Feb-14 11:13:28

Dp helps (we have 4 dc, including dts in Reception) but I have to be in charge. I write up each child's weekly homework on a chalkboard and try to get the dc to put their book bags in the same place when they get back from school. He will often end up doing a load with one or more dc but I've got to remind him or it wouldn't happen. This is pretty much the same for most things about running a house though, I find it pretty frustrating at times but dp can and will do the work with them. We've done the phonics 2 times before and actually dp is quite good because he had to do it all with ds1. I'd just had twins when ds1 started school.

I find having a regular system that is up on a board or diary entries in dp's phone works pretty well. But you may have to accept that you have overall responsibility. I was ill in half term and no dc did any homework!

Fuzzymum1 Thu 27-Feb-14 20:07:04

DH helps regularly, but then he helps with housework and laundry too. We take turns to supervise the bedtime routine and reading is part of that. We read with him several nights a week and others he now reads by himself. Spellings always seem to be down to me though.

Hellosquiffy Thu 27-Feb-14 21:43:57

Sadly no help from DH. Homework, reading etc is all down to me. DH isn't very keen on reading because he struggles himself....come to think of it I have to write all of his letters too hmm

givemeaclue Thu 27-Feb-14 21:49:18

Yes of course, we both do. We both show that reading is important. We both encourage and educate our children.

Acinonyx Thu 27-Feb-14 22:08:30

No. I have always done reading with dd. Dh is very involved in other ways and does HW with her. But I do reading. Actually I think it's just a natural division of labour - I like doing it. Maths - he can have gladly. I just cannot get into practicing maths - I hate it even though I very good at maths myself confused.

ShoeWhore Thu 27-Feb-14 22:16:39

Yes we both do it. Initially I was more confident with it all but we both felt it was important that our ds's saw that reading was something dads did as well as mums.

Dh also often has a book on the go that he reads with the older two - they really enjoy that.

SaveTheMockingBird Thu 27-Feb-14 23:26:40

DH does do a lot of the house work and bedtimes are done together. He is happy to read to DS, but I think he just doesn't think to get a reading book out. If I remind him he will do it and he is always very praising and encouraging of ds when he does read.

Our house is full of books and DH in particular is an avid reader and is always reading rather than watching tv etc so the dcs know how important books are so it's not that. I work part time and is with the dcs after 3pm everyday whereas dh doesn't get home till 6 and is tired from teaching all day so just want to muck around with the dcs and play games with them I guess which is
what he does.

systemsmalfunction Fri 28-Feb-14 00:50:24

My DH reads to my kids. I usually do all the listening to the kids read. It seems to work well that way and I don't mind. They hit free reading fast enough

Adikia Fri 28-Feb-14 02:42:08

DH does some reading with DD if I ask but I do most of it, all the spellings and most homework with both DC. DH does do maths with DS (year 5) though, as my maths is awful and there's no point in DS asking me for help.

noramum Fri 28-Feb-14 06:32:10

As DH has more time with DD after school he does the majority of under the week reading. We normally share the weekend homework depending what is on.

TeenAndTween Fri 28-Feb-14 12:24:13

DH is retired. 95% of homework is organised via me. he does other stuff like organise holidays etc.
But he does listen to DD2 (y4) read in the mornings (if I ask him to) and will also do times tables practice (if prompted).

He is very good at buying science kits to not do with the children though. smile.

spareusername Fri 28-Feb-14 12:36:55

MrNC is severely dyslexic and struggles to read 5yos books, so tends to play a game with ds if putting him to bed, but does get him to read words off it. However he's very good at getting ds to write as part of a "treasure hunt" and to read words when out and about.

Sometimes he listens to me reading stories so he can "read" them fluently to ds in future. Usually with lots of added made-up bits.

UniS Tue 04-Mar-14 12:42:39

dh does almost all reading , both listening to ds read aloud and reading bedtime story to ds. Its a routine we seemed to slip into as dh comes home just in time for tea so isn't around for any other after school activities.

catkind Tue 04-Mar-14 13:41:52

I find it works like that with most things around the house we'll both muck in and do it but one of us has ownership and knows what needs doing when. Eg. Dh does laundry and cooking, I do clothes buying and homework.

Twiceover Tue 04-Mar-14 19:28:28

DH gets home too late in the week to read with the DCs but always hears them read at the weekend. He has much more patience than me!

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