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My 5 year old daughter seems to be so unhappy in Year 1 :( don't know what to do.

(3 Posts)
PurpleReign Fri 07-Feb-14 11:58:52

My August born daughter has really struggled in Year 1.

Inner city London school. 28 children. One teacher. One classroom assistant. Mixed ability. English second language for 50-75% class.

Social : She was separated from 2 best (but mischievous) friends from reception class when moved to Y1 and doesn't seem to have found a close bond again although reportedly plays well with a mixture of friends at play time. Upset she gets separated at lunchtime/after school club if they are too 'over playful'.

Academic Work: Is average in attainment i.e can read a little can calculate well enough. But struggles with the psycho-social aspects of schooling. Thinks the teachers are tricking her with the work they set, doesn't like to ask questions during group work and get frustrated when she is asked to wait until the teacher becomes available, notices who is better at things and how she compares; has a perception of tables with more able pupils and those less able,

Behaviour : send to Mrs V***'s "body class" yesterday twice for not listening to the teacher. Made a 'pinky promise' that she wont do it again but is worried that she wont be able to keep that promise. Don't know what they hell body class refers to but going to this teacher is clearly considered a punishment, and DD is clearly afraid of this woman.

Homework: instructions are in 'teacher speak' and although well educated I often don't understand what they are trying to ask the children to do. Poor photocopies of pictures. Far too much for little'uns in my view.

Actions so far: visited class teacher on 2-3 occasions to check on progress and report my concerns. This seems to have been taken seriously. Very kind teacher experienced and capable. Spoken to the head of year / deputy head twice to report my concerns. Listened to and seemingly understood. They report she is capable, although young for her year. She has matured this year in her social skills. Play with others at break time.

Other local schools are over subscribed and would be added to waiting list.

I dont know where to go with this. Meet Head of Year again and action plan. Remove her and move home. Complain. Get information from school on their punishments strategies? Meet every week with the teacher and head of year to monitor? Ask an independent psycologist to assess her and find out whats 'going on'.
It might be that her mum and dad (me and husband) are having a difficult time in our relationship and she hears and sees us arguing with each other..... dont tell me this is the route and been staring me in the face ?????

Any thoughts or help v much appreciated. So worried.

idril Fri 07-Feb-14 21:31:57

How was she in reception? If she is anything like my daughter (a young year 2), friends are the crux of whether she is happy in school or not. All the other stuff that you describe sounds like normal school stuff.

Some children cope fine with being separated but others don't. At our school, they keep small groups of close friends together unless there are "issues". Were they split up for a reason (you mention mischieviousness?)? Were you happy they were split up? Are the other 2 together? Do you think the school would be open to moving her back with her friends? Would you want this?

Playing with other children is good but if she hasn't "clicked" with this children, it won't be the same as playing with close friends.

TheBuskersDog Fri 07-Feb-14 23:19:30

I think she may be being sent to a 'buddy' class, probably all the classes are paired up and that is where each teacher sends children for time-out of the classroom.
To be honest most of what you've mentioned doesn't sound out of the ordinary and is mainly down to immaturity. Some of your suggestions for managing her 'problems' seem over the top, I can't see anything you have mentioned that would necessitate an assessment by a psychologist.
Re the homework, just ask the teacher.

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