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Does anyone else get utterly paranoid about what DC's teacher thinks of them?

(43 Posts)
Flexiblefriend Mon 03-Feb-14 16:11:35

I know this is a bit daft, but every time I have to go into DD's school, I spend most of the time there worrying about what the staff think of me. Am I one of those horribly pushy parents, or do they think I am not involved enough? I feel conscious of how I interact with DD while I am there, in case they somehow think I am doing it wrong. Does anyone else get this or am I just bonkers?

I would imagine that in reality they barely register me among all the other parents they deal with, but it doesn't feel that way. Are there any other parents that feel the same, or teachers who can say if they do actually notice or care what parents are like when they see them in school?

Panzee Mon 03-Feb-14 16:12:56

Teacher here, unless you're a big meanie I don't really think anything. smile

nonicknameseemsavailable Mon 03-Feb-14 16:21:59

yep I worry what the teachers might think of me and my parenting and my children. but then I worry what everyone thinks all the time and it can make life pretty miserable.

I am sure they are too busy to take any notice though.

Panzee Mon 03-Feb-14 16:25:36

It's really nothing to do with busy.

littlemiss06 Mon 03-Feb-14 16:34:15

I used to with my first lol but fourth kid now and I just think they take me as they find me, I'm doing ok though...I think haha smile

sittingbythepoolwithenzo Mon 03-Feb-14 16:55:30

I did for a bit, but I've stopped worrying now. I am quite "involved" but try and help, rather than being a pushy mum.

RussianBlu Mon 03-Feb-14 23:06:57

No, I give it very little thought.

littlebluedog12 Mon 03-Feb-14 23:25:10

Never crossed my mind actually- and I am usually a worrier! Stop stressing, as long as your DC is happy it's all fine.

PastSellByDate Tue 04-Feb-14 13:30:52

Hi flexiblefriend:

Generally have the impression all parents are put in the category PITA.

Only spoken to when teachers want £ or contact info/ assistance, help on field trip or with PTA event.

However, also know that parents are very judgmental about teachers - how they dress, are they any good, approachable, etc... So suspect it is a two-way street - if that's any help.

Flexiblefriend Tue 04-Feb-14 19:07:35

Thanks all, I think I need to chill out about it a bit. I've just got to work out how to go about that now! I certainly don't judge the teachers, they have seemed great so far.

Mumof3xx Tue 04-Feb-14 19:12:00

I don't worry too much except for when the kids are late usually because the baby threw up all over me as we were about to set off or one of them was wearing the others shoes or some such

My children and clean, fed and polite. They don't cause much trouble and enjoy school. Surely that must make me an ok mum lol

stepfordwifey Tue 04-Feb-14 19:43:48

These are things that drive us all mad:
Those that complain about everything and are aggressive with it.
Those that never contribute anything to school trips (we always notice)
Those that are always late dropping off and collecting causing others inconvenience
Those that keep their children out of school and then expect their children to tell lies (they always drop you in it)
Those that will never accept that sometimes it's their child causing the trouble and never support the school in tackling it
Those that never ever read with their children or support them with homework (progress is always slower)
Those that moan about communication but never read the newsletters
Those that never name uniform but expect whole school searches to find lost items.
Treat us with courtesy and talk over your concerns reasonably. Work with us to support your child and trust us to do our best. A smile and a friendly chat solves most things really easily.

HappyMummyOfOne Tue 04-Feb-14 21:33:18

I would imagine teachers notice parents that are either pushy, not involved at all or think their angel can do no wrong.

Office staff likely to notice who never returns paperwork, who never pays and who are rude.

ilikenoodles Wed 05-Feb-14 11:22:43

i must admit, I do worry a tiny wee bit! This morning I was standing near my ds who was at the front of the line ready to go in. His teacher, who is lovely and perfectly approachable, started talking to me and my mind went blank and I felt really nervous! how bloody stupid is that! She was only asking if I was going to have a daughter cos she's had both my sons through her class and she was just trying to be nice, she must think I'm a total prat!

cloutiedumpling Wed 05-Feb-14 12:58:25

I used to worry. Now I don't. I have had an issue with one of my DCs and reckon that his teacher probably thinks I'm pushy. I don't think I'm pushy - I think I have a genuine grievance that isn't being addressed.

Crowler Wed 05-Feb-14 13:01:47

I worry quite a lot about coming across as pushy. I restrain myself from asking a lot of questions that I would otherwise ask if I didn't worry about this.

Flexiblefriend Wed 05-Feb-14 13:38:11

stepford, I don't think I am guilty of any of those things, but that is quite a list! Its getting the balance between pushy, and not involved enough that stresses me out.

Panzee Wed 05-Feb-14 16:32:07

I don't think any of the things on Stepford's list. I just concentrate on the child in my class. Unless you're a big meanie. grin Please don't stress about us. smile

HoratiaDrelincourt Wed 05-Feb-14 16:45:11

Good list, stepford. I can see that those things would be infuriating.

OP, I feel exactly that anxiety, but with every single person I ever encounter, including strangers on MN. It's crippling.

teafor1 Wed 05-Feb-14 17:09:40

My child can be low level disruptive, making me quite anxious about school in general. So I worry a lot about what his teacher thinks of me and my kid.

OddBoots Wed 05-Feb-14 17:16:06

I worried more with ds's teachers as I was young when I had him so I felt a little out of my depth dealing with professionals while he was little, I don't worry so much now he is older.

KatieScarlett2833 Wed 05-Feb-14 17:19:23

Not since I drove home a few of them after a party we were all at. Having to stop so the Dep Head could puke was a particular highlight wink
We are still friends now grin

Curlynoodles Wed 05-Feb-14 18:14:16

Teacher here!

Your thread has made me laugh because I worry about what parents think of me! Maybe the teacher you are worried about is thinking the same - it's a vicious circle!! Haha

starlight1234 Wed 05-Feb-14 18:20:31

I worry when I pop into school for little things...Generally DS is no problem at school...I worry they think oh not Mrs ... Again..

Flexiblefriend Fri 07-Feb-14 16:07:09

Curly, I have to admit, I do feel for teachers. It must be a thousand times worse, wondering what 30 or so sets of parents think of you, and I'm guessing in every class you get at least one or two difficult parents?

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