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Do schools need to know about parents' criminal convictions?

(40 Posts)
Runoutofideas Mon 18-Nov-13 16:53:35

I have discovered something today about the father of one of my dd's closest friends. He was convicted a few years ago of something which I would consider would put his children at potential risk of serious harm within their home. Would school automatically know about this, and if not, should I say something? The child's attendance record is poor, but child seems well cared for and is lovely to speak to. My dd has been to their house on numerous occasions, but will not be going again following what I have found out today. Trying to be a bit cryptic to maintain confidentiality but I don't know what, if anything, to do!

Runoutofideas Mon 25-Nov-13 18:15:51

Titchy - it became necessary because of the current behaviour of the dad. Person who told me didn't really have much choice in the matter at the time.

titchy Mon 25-Nov-13 16:47:54

Clearly a very sad situation for that family - but someone actually told you the family was under some sort of protection? Jesus I hope whoever told you isn't always such a blabbermouth- its disgraceful that a professional should have told you such obviously confidential information.

titchy Mon 25-Nov-13 16:47:30

Clearly a very sad situation for that family - but someone actually told you the family was under some sort of protection? Jesus I hope whoever told you isn't always such a blabbermouth- its disgraceful that a professional should have told you such obviously confidential information.

CloverkissSparklecheeks Mon 25-Nov-13 15:14:59

I think it is very difficult to offer help early on as you never know what the reaction from the family themselves will be. I think we are all very cautious about getting involved especially when many peoples opinions are that it is none of your business.

You shouldn't feel bad as you didn't know the situation before and once you did you talked to someone about it.

Runoutofideas Mon 25-Nov-13 12:48:31

Thanks cloverkiss. I now feel really bad that I didn't try to offer the mum more help before. She and the children have clearly had a terrible time. I hope she stays strong, stays away and is able to rebuild their lives. Now I just need to break it to my dd that her friend is not coming back..... sad

CloverkissSparklecheeks Mon 25-Nov-13 12:04:19

I am glad you mentioned it and I am shocked people on hear are saying 'beak out' etc. When it comes to safeguarding children (or anyone for that matter) then minding your own business does not apply EVER. If there is a misunderstanding or nothing untoward is actually happening then that is fine if you have dealt with it in the correct way ie going to a professional such as a HT or SW rather than accusing or gossiping then there should not be a problem

You should never go home worried about the welfare of a child!!

Runoutofideas Sun 24-Nov-13 12:14:55

Just as an update for anyone who commented on this thread - sorry for being so cryptic but it appears there was good reason. I mentioned to the head teacher that I was concerned about the child as she had been absent from school. The mum and children are currently being protected by the authorities and it is doubtful that the child will return to school. Feel desperately sad for all of them and hope that they are able to have happy, fulfilled lives in the future.

FrussoNeedsGin Mon 18-Nov-13 20:11:32

Why don't you ask the mum?

Lakota Mon 18-Nov-13 20:01:31

In that case I would always have prior engagements if invited, but continue to be friendly and welcoming and issue invites to your own home. They will probably know why you've stopped letting your daughter round but be relieved you haven't nixed the friendship altogether. Anon call to SS for any ongoing concerns re the child's safety in her own house.

Lakota Mon 18-Nov-13 19:58:05

I'm guessing this is a conviction involving drugs - the making of them in the home? I agree with soundedbetterinmyhead re how to handle it, if asked why your daughter isn't visiting any more.

Runoutofideas Mon 18-Nov-13 19:56:43

Lumpy - I think that might be a very bad idea! I just don't know what he is capable of, and don't want to get on the wrong side of him.

Thanks all for your comments.

soundedbetterinmyhead Mon 18-Nov-13 19:53:35

If the name and address has been reported in the papers, I expect the mum won't be at all surprised for you to approach her and explain that although you value her friendship, you're going to have to redraw some boundaries in the light of how this information makes you feel about your DD going to her house. If you do this sensitively and privately, she might be relieved to talk to someone about it - it's a big load for a non-offending partner to carry.

There's no need to tell the school though - if you have any concerns about the child, ring SS - they'll take an anonymous referral.

rwepi Mon 18-Nov-13 19:46:41

I think you should call SS. If they already know then no harm done, especially as the information is already in the public domain. If they don't then you may have helped.

I wouldn't tell the school. SS will if they think there's a need. The only "action" the school can take is to tell SS.

VerySmallSqueak Mon 18-Nov-13 19:44:18

If you are concerned that he is re-visiting his violent past,I am not sure I would want to be too up front tbh.

If I was going to pass my concerns on I would probably do so quietly.

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob Mon 18-Nov-13 19:31:56

Maybe you should just be up front and tell the mum your concerns.

Runoutofideas Mon 18-Nov-13 19:22:11

I don't want to discontinue the friendship - the child is lovely! However my dd will not be going to their home again. This will be hard to explain to the mum without letting on that I know, so not quite sure how to manage that bit.

Don't think it is a case of mistaken identity - most of the home address was in the report too.

Runoutofideas Mon 18-Nov-13 19:19:49

thanks verysmallsqueak - x-posted.

No - I hadn't considered everything completely fine before, this just as you say "ties together the little pieces".

crazymum53 Mon 18-Nov-13 19:18:54

It does seem to be a shame to discontinue the friendship - it isn't the child's fault. Instead of going round to each others houses would it be possible to meet in a public place such as soft play or a park instead?

There have been cases where people have been mixed up with others of similar name due to Google searches, so there is a possibility that your information may not be fully accurate. However if there are concerns based on what you have seen and heard it would be worth having a word with an appropriate professional (probably the teacher in this case).

Runoutofideas Mon 18-Nov-13 19:17:56

Thanks tiggytape. The child hasn't said anything to me recently (since last year) but she rings alarm bells for me because she is very quiet and "buttoned up". It wouldn't surprise me at all if she is told not to mention certain things to anyone and she has always seemed very wary of her father.

They have moved house since the offence was committed and he goes by his middle name rather than his first name - not sure if that has always been the case - so I don't know if that would be enough for social services to have been shaken off if there was involvement once he was released.

I don't feel there is anything for me to report at the moment, but I just wondered if school should/would be aware of the potential risk involved to the child to keep a closer eye out for her.

VerySmallSqueak Mon 18-Nov-13 19:10:32

I have to agree that if there have been concerns before,then perhaps you should follow what seems to be your gut instinct.

I was thinking this was possibly a knee jerk reaction on just finding out today about the prior convictions,but if it is acting as tying together little pieces that have concerned you (yet you haven't been able to add them up to make a whole) then I think you should act and pass on your concerns.

tiggytape Mon 18-Nov-13 19:04:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Runoutofideas Mon 18-Nov-13 18:43:40

I did have a concern last year with something the child said to me which I mentioned to her teacher, so this is not completely unsurprising, however it is much more serious than I would have guessed. I think keeping distance is the way to go, unless evidence presents itself.

I do get what you mean about reading too much into this, but the more I think about it, the more other strange bits and pieces fit into place. I don't think I am making too much of it, but I will definitely consider that point before doing anything. Thanks

HedgeHogGroup Mon 18-Nov-13 18:39:09

They would need to know if he volunteered to go on a school trip.

VerySmallSqueak Mon 18-Nov-13 18:18:25

This was all a few years ago,and presumably you've had no concerns about your child going round until this came to light.

So your judgement was that there was nothing untoward going on then.

I think your posts are all too cryptic to be able to offer serious advice.

If you seriously believe he's up to his antics again then I would just keep my distance and telephone the police/ss if you have enough grounds to.

But I hope you're not reading stuff into this that isn't there,just because of the information you heard today, because this is another family's life that you're dealing with.

auntpetunia Mon 18-Nov-13 17:35:29

If you are in any a concerned phone social services anonymously, they have to act.

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