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Leave declined for wedding....

(179 Posts)
eleanorrubysmummy Fri 04-Oct-13 17:08:37

Oh dear! My husbands brother is getting married in Feb (on a Friday), been planned 2 years, hub is best man & DD is bridesmaid. just moved up to year3 at a new school so did the right thing & applied for authorized day off......declined & also intimated that an application to fine us will be made if we go!! I'm so stuck......can anyone help/advise/guide us for this pls???

clam Fri 04-Oct-13 18:36:45

Do NOT cancel! This is bloody ridiculous and your Head Teacher is a complete bastard if, as he implies, he can choose whether you're fined or not and he's going for it.

As these rules are new in, it's unclear at this stage exactly how they're going to pan out in terms of fines. However, if you say she's ill, they'd be hard-pushed to prove you a liar (especially as it's half term following and who's to know how long she's "ill" for?) If you prefer not to lie, then just go anyway and take the rap IF it comes to it - although I reckon it won't. (come to it)

<<am a teacher>>

teenagetantrums Fri 04-Oct-13 18:37:11

I would go anyway, phone in sick on the Thursday with vomiting, most schools have a 48 rule about that so your DD wont need to lie about not going to the wedding.

Damnautocorrect Fri 04-Oct-13 18:41:08

Don't cancel, don't lie (the kids are bound to stitch you up) just say they won't be in, sorry its non negotiable.
Others are right they can't authorise any absence any more.

Beamur Fri 04-Oct-13 18:42:18

DD's school have told us that all leave in term time will be declined as they are no longer allowed to authorise it.
Whilst I'm generally an upstanding member of the community I too would suggest a sudden onset of vomiting...

skyeskyeskye Fri 04-Oct-13 18:46:39

I would go. Sadly the headmaster is entitled to make that decision, although I think he is being very mean.

You may get a fine, but ultimately the decision on the fine is made by the Local Authority not by the headteacher, so the LEA may decide that the circumstances are exceptional. I think they only prosecute if the fine is not paid.

So if the LEA don't think it is exceptional circumstances, then it may cost you £60, or £120 (our school is £60 per parent per child).

PuppyMonkey Fri 04-Oct-13 18:46:40

My mum recently died and while she was still ill in hospital my sister tired to book a Friday and a Monday off school for her DD so that the family could come up and visit her from London area to Nottingham. School refused permission for her to see her dying granny.sad

ivykaty44 Fri 04-Oct-13 18:53:32

Very bad advice to go to court. You would lose and end up paying a lot more.

you might not lose though and then if a case was won it would make other take the cases to court for a ruling

Op can't decide when someone else is getting married, it is for one day (not 11 days as in the story) It is a family event and family should be valued.

eleanorrubysmummy Fri 04-Oct-13 18:55:20

Oh in this situation I would have no hesitation at all....DD would be aout of school in a flash!!

NoComet Fri 04-Oct-13 18:57:54

Go and dare them to fine you.

Next time don't ask just send in a sickness note.

The new rules are insane.

2cats2many Fri 04-Oct-13 18:58:09

Of course you should go. The worst that can happen is a £60 fine.

MrsS1980 Fri 04-Oct-13 19:03:18

If your daughter's attendance is normally 95% or above it is unlikely you will be fined. A fixed penalty notice is issued in consultation with the EWO and the school. You need 10 (half day) sessions absence to FPN. I imagine this is a standard letter that is sent in response to requests for holidays.

Enjoy the day and make sure you keep her attendance up the rest of the year.

eleanorrubysmummy Fri 04-Oct-13 19:04:05

The fine is actually per person, per child, per session (1 day=2 sessions) ergo the fine would be £240!! On top of £300 for outfit hire/BM dress, another £230 for 2 nights in a chain hotel, £150 for fuel...........sigh

shebird Fri 04-Oct-13 19:06:03

I am in the same boat OP. My family live abroad and I requested 2 days to attend my nephews christening which has been declined. This is a very important family occasion which I want my DCs to be part of. My niece passed away a few years ago just 2 weeks after her 1st birthday and it was a very sad time for the family. My eldest DD was deeply affected by the loss of her baby cousin so I feel that it is very important that she sees her new cousin and shares in the joy in his arrival. I am still going to take them out but I am too upset right now to even discuss possible fines with the HT.

offwhitecurtains Fri 04-Oct-13 19:07:22

Have you checked with the LA to see when fines kick in (it should be on the website).

louby44 Fri 04-Oct-13 19:14:50

I would say she is sick. I'm a teacher and one of my 2 DS attends my school. His dad and I are divorced and he has booked a holiday for Oct half term for him and our 2 DS. They go on the Thursday lunchtime before the kids finish on the Friday.

I'm in a really awkward position. A request for 2 days holiday will be denied and there has been much discussion about it in the staffroom about other families who have asked and been denied extra holiday.

I'm just going to say he's sick. I know this is awful and I feel terrible but my ex husband hasn't taken them away for 3 years and he couldn't afford it if he went sat-sat, the Thursday flight makes it more affordable. Plus it fits in with his shift pattern!


marriedinwhiteisbackz Fri 04-Oct-13 19:22:28

Unfortunately this is why I have less and less respect for the teaching profession. The heads and the teachers know this is wrong yet they do nothing to speak up about and to help effect change and common sense.

In the old days a letter was sent out by our dc's head to say that she would not be authorising absence during the weeks before the Christmas and Summer holidays. Several parents wrote in response to say they entirely respected her stance but expected learning to take place until the end of term if that was the case and didn't want their dc to spend their time watching videos and playing rounders. Went a bit quiet after that.

Remind him of his decision in relation to unauthorised absence if the school takes strike action. That in my opinion is far more significant in the context of unauthorised absence and impact on learning.

pointythings Fri 04-Oct-13 19:24:35

The only message this insane rule sends out is that honesty does not pay. I avoid term time holidays like the plague, but if there should ever be a major family event, my DDs will just fall ill - I will not even bother to ask. Is that what the powers that be want to encourage?

louby44 Fri 04-Oct-13 19:25:39

Please remember that this is a Dept of Education ruling. The schools/head teachers are just doing what they have been told. They CANNOT do anything about this.

AnneElliott Fri 04-Oct-13 19:25:41

Just say that she had d&v on Thursday. All schools have the 48 hour thing so she doesn't have to keep quiet about the wedding.

FWIW I have never requested leave from the school. The very few times I have taken DS out I have done if first and told them later. You're the parent so you make the decisions. Ridiculous new rules in my view.

Beamur Fri 04-Oct-13 19:26:11

If schools are being told this is how they have to treat absences their hands are tied. It's no good attacking the teachers or the heads when the dictat is coming from elsewhere.

Hassled Fri 04-Oct-13 19:28:14

I do feel the need to point out that the new rules come from the Department of Education and NOT from the schools. Headteachers used to have some discretion - now they don't. No authorised absences except in "exceptional circumstances", and no holidays whatsoever. Wedding of a parent might count, wedding of other family member won't.

So save your wrath for the DfE, not the school.

Hassled Fri 04-Oct-13 19:28:38

X post with many - sorry

shebird Fri 04-Oct-13 19:30:11

It is a sad situation that parents are being forced to lie and even worse to have to ask their DCs to lie.

clam Fri 04-Oct-13 19:30:39

"Unfortunately this is why I have less and less respect for the teaching profession. The heads and the teachers know this is wrong yet they do nothing to speak up about and to help effect change and common sense."

What the FUCK do you think these strikes are about, then???? angry angry angry

marriedinwhiteisbackz Fri 04-Oct-13 19:37:11

Their terms and conditions of employment.

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