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Year1 teacher yelled at daughter

(128 Posts)
saltpeanuts Thu 12-Sep-13 19:30:43

Dear mumsnetters, I really need your advice. confused

Today DD (5, year1) told me her teacher had yelled at her in front of the class. DD is usually a very quiet and sensitive child, so she felt confused and sad. She recognised she was being a bit noisy when the teacher yelled at her (her words), but not behaving intentionally badly. Still, do you think it's OK to yell at children, especially when they're that young? Should I speak with the her (the teacher) and try to find out what happened?

Just a note, I think it's ok to tell children off and speak things, but I don't agree with yelling/screaming at them. At the same time, I understand grown ups aren't perfect all the time and that working with children can be very stressful, but I don't want this to repeat.

What would you do in my place? Thanks for your advice

cory Sat 14-Sep-13 18:17:24

A child experiencing that the teacher yelled when she told them off doesn't make the child dishonest: it just shows that she is seeing this from her own pov, thinking of how she felt when she was told off rather than what it was like for the teacher or the other children. 5yos are not usually very good at seeing other people's viewpoints: it doesn't make them liars.

My friend's ds who complained to his mum that the other children were nasty to him and wouldn't play wasn't being dishonest: he just didn't twig that there was a connection between the manner in which he played (pushing them over) and their reaction.

Going in to talk to the teacher is fine provided the OP is prepared to do it in a non-accusatory manner and willing to listen to the teacher's pov.

The problem with a class room situation is that it has to meet the needs of 31 people. For the dd, clearly, a nurturing environment would be one where she doesn't get told off. For the child next to her a nurturing environment might be one where anyone making distracting noises is stopped from doing so.

My nephew spent 3 years in a class where the teacher was unable to stop a handful of noisy and distracting children. He hated it and learnt next to nothing. It wasn't a nurturing environment for him. But I don't suppose the other children realised they were ruining school for him.

FlorenceMattell Sat 14-Sep-13 19:24:10

Why would the teacher pick on OPs child. In my experience of teachers; having had a child at school for over twenty years, dozens of teachers. Teachers are professional and most like children. Yes they sometimes get it wrong ie tell the wrong child off for talking. But that's life, children need to learn these things happen.
The year 1 child is not very old, so not lying but her view of events may not be accurate. Obviously for her being told off was very upsetting and now she perceives the teacher doesn't like her. Yes OP you need to speak to the teacher to get a balanced view. But I would go along with a concern that your dd has not settled well etc not accusations.
Unless you have ran the teachers cat over or dented her car etc why would the teacher have a personal vendetta against your child. Sorry not buying that she is picking on her. If she was that unpleasant you would hear it from other parents too.

grants1000 Sat 14-Sep-13 20:23:07

And do not discuss it with other parents in the playground, it's private between you and school. If you start to gossip, and it is gossip, you will have your card marked as a gossip, do you want that?

You and this thread have totally overreacted. Its simple, just ask the teacher, then all will become clear. Teachers do talk in loud voices and our precious children do things wrong and need to be told about it. So you need to be prepared to suck it up, maybe not on this occasion but in the future. Teachers also get it wrong sometimes.

Talk to the teacher, deal with it, draw a line and move on. It's not the be all and end all.

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