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Is anyone REALLY sad about their offspring starting school?

(89 Posts)
YesAnastasia Sun 01-Sep-13 21:45:01

I am. Is anyone else?

Damnautocorrect Mon 02-Sep-13 08:36:05

Shittt im going to cry my eyes out aren't I.
Oh keeps going on about it, I want him to shush!
My ds is my best friend, he's also an only

Damnautocorrect Mon 02-Sep-13 08:36:44

Oops posted too soon, so its going to be a big change for both of us.

Growlithe Mon 02-Sep-13 08:39:01

Well, when you are thinking about missing them, remember that it really isn't that many hours they are at school. You've still got them for most of the afternoon/evening, and a lot of that can be quality time as you are bringing them home at that time and they often just want a chill and a snuggle after school.

And then when they start reading to you in that time? That is one of my very favourite times as a parent. smile

Kirk1 Mon 02-Sep-13 08:50:44

He told the Clarks lady that he's going to look so smart with his new shoes & tie Anastasia, that made me well up a little, I can't imagine what it did to you!

It doesn't get easier. I was hopeless when DS1 started school (DC2) and even though DS2 is 2 years away from reception the knowledge that he'll be starting pre-school in May is giving me collywobbles.

RaspberrySchnapps Mon 02-Sep-13 10:21:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrassIsntGreener Mon 02-Sep-13 13:00:18

Actually, after the morning I've had, bring it on!

YesAnastasia Mon 02-Sep-13 17:38:04

That's what I need Growlithe - that has cheered me a little smile Here's to snuggles & reading.

stickygotstuck Mon 02-Sep-13 18:08:19

In the same boat here! Insanely sad sad

DD is an only. She starts Reception on Friday. She can be hard work, but it's going to be such a massive change to my life. We only got her uniform today - talk about burying your head in the sand grin

Pandorassox Mon 02-Sep-13 18:28:04

My ds starts tomorrow, just ironed uniform and put his bag and shoes ready sad

googlyeyes Mon 02-Sep-13 22:02:40

When pfb dd started I felt nothing but pride. Mixed with a bit of relief, as I had a toddler and baby too.

Now my precious last born is starting school next year and even though he's September born and will be more than ready, I'm already broken hearted at the thought. It's going to be much, much harder than with the other two. End of an era as someone said. And since ds1 started school 2 years ago ds2 and I have been the best of friends, going on all sorts of adventures during the day.

I'm going to be lost without him. Not sure the feeling will be mutual! (Which is as it should be)

XBenedict Mon 02-Sep-13 22:05:04

I've just started a similar thread as I didn't see this one. I feel so down about it tonight. DD2 starts on Thurs, she is my youngest of 3 and is so ready and excited to be starting and I was excited for her until tonight......feeling a bit sad and tearful - how pathetic?

volley Mon 02-Sep-13 22:19:04

I'm with you rooners !! Home Ed all the way grin

Iwillorderthefood Mon 02-Sep-13 22:20:11

I am sad too, DD1 is November born, and was very ready to start school. DD2 is July born, and so tiny, I know really that socially she will be fine but she still falls asleep I the afternoon sometimes. My heart aches for it not to be happening yet. We took a fair time to conceive her, and the reality is that we really could not afford another so this is it, baby days are over.

Kinect Mon 02-Sep-13 23:48:42

I am in pieces.

Been crying for weeks everytime someone mentioned it. I'm normally the hard faced bitch.

She starts tomorrow & I am a wreck. Had a nice family day out today, so not too bad, but yesterday I was in floods. She has seen me crying and I've told her I'm going to miss her and I'm sad lots of our fun times are over, but that she's going to make lots of new friends and have different fun than we have.


still jealous

Lost my job early in the pregnancy so she's been the centre my life for 5 years, even though just turned 4. I too, have taken my role as a SAHM seriously. Completely get that OP

Our whole life changes tomorrow, I'm not ready, I don't want it & I don't even believe in it sad

I'd home educate if I could, but finances have changed and DD loves the thought of school and being surrounded by other children.

No idea how I'm going to cope in the morning.

Saracen Tue 03-Sep-13 00:30:17

"Rooners, I have considered that (a friend home eds her 4 DC) but it would only be worse when he decides to leave as a teenager!! I can visualise me hanging onto his ankles as he walks into uni..... That would be mean... Wouldn't it? wink"

Well I don't know, Shifty, because I haven't sent one off to uni yet. But in general I think the whole business of detaching myself from a growing child is easier without school because it's more gradual. My teenager is out and about quite a lot these days, and often spends a week at a time away from home. However, this has been building for years. We didn't have that experience of spending most of our time together for the first four years, and then suddenly spending 30 hours less per week together. I guess that is why school start hits people so hard, because it happens all at once.

Dd1 did try school for a while when she was nine. It wasn't the huge wrench it would have been when she was four. And the reason for that was that I was really 100% sure she would be OK there. A nine year old is more competent and grown up than a four year old. It felt OK to me. In some cases, the difficulty of sending kids to school is because parents really don't feel sure it's going to be the right thing for their child at that time. And maybe it will turn out to be the right thing after all in spite of parents' doubts, but it's undoubtedly easier to wave them off when you know in your heart that it is right.

That's not to say I won't cry when my kids move out. Of course I will! But I don't think it'll be any worse for me than it is for other mums.

Good luck to all of you anyway, and your kids! I hope it all comes out well for everybody.

Growlithe Tue 03-Sep-13 07:08:35

I don't think it's fair to come on a thread like this and talk about HE.

These parents have already made their decision to send their children to school, and are basically talking about their own feelings on the first day. Missing your child when they are at school is not a valid reason to HE.

You will soon get used to the routine of school guys. Don't think about the end of an era, but the start of a new adventure, where your child's life (and your own) is going to be filled with new friends, and new ideas.

Remember you aren't just handing them over and being shut out yourself too. For those with a bit of time on your hands as a result of this, most infant schools will bite your hand off at the offer of a bit of volunteering.

Above all, when you are upset today, be brave and keep positive positive positive for your child's sake of course. Any negativity from you will be attached to the school in their minds.

Good luck everyone.

Rooners Tue 03-Sep-13 07:41:46

Oh, I totally didn't intend it to come across as smug or unkind - it was a suggestion, that's all, if you can imagine it being said with the very best of intentions then please do as that's how it was when I typed it.

I missed mine too, HE'd ds1 for a short while (he learned nothing apart from how to dissect a slug) and sent him to school when a place came up...he has never looked back.

Ds2 is HE at the moment but I don't know how it will pan out.

I just wanted to say it in case there were people here who hadn't considered it and might go 'actually, stuff this, I think we can make it work at home'. And be happier that way.

Total respect to those who want to use school. I didn't mean to rub anyone's noses in it or anything sad


Rooners Tue 03-Sep-13 07:42:46

But still Growlithe I don't think it's fair to state that missing them isn't a valid reason to HE. I think it's one of many perfectly valid reasons out there.

Rooners Tue 03-Sep-13 07:45:56

OP - I didn't have any family support either with ds1. It was awful. Partly why he went back.

They are more supportive about ds2, he's different...he learns by himself and is more socially adrift, a bit like me!

anyway sorry again and as you were.

iloveaglassofwine Tue 03-Sep-13 08:48:58

This is the thread for me! I am so sad at the thought of DD going to school. Rationally I kbow she will be fine and should love it but my heart breaks a little when I think back to all the time we've had together and often a memory pops into my head and I well up. She's been to nursery 2 days a week since she was 12 months so it's not like we've never been apart but, still this feels different - she's nor my baby anymore.

So i am holding tight to the thought that she is ready to go and it's the start of new adventures and new friends (for us both).

Gawd knows what i'll be like when ds goes!

Good luck to those starting today.

Oblomov Tue 03-Sep-13 09:04:44

I do NOT feel this way. I didn't feel it with ds1, 5 years ago. And I don't feel it with ds2.
I am happy for him to go and I think he is ready. On visiting days, he just ran off, without a backward glance. He seems quite blasé about the whole thing.
I can only assume that it's because he has been going to school for years, to pick ds1 up and knows quite a few of the other children and knows the lay out.
I will miss my time with him. Because I love him so VERY VERY much. But I am not SAD.

Growlithe Tue 03-Sep-13 09:31:33

Thanks for that Oblomov - I'd begun to think I had no heart for not feeling this way.

I was so proud of my two (Y1 and Y5) going in today without a backwards glance because they'd both met friends on the way in and were excited. I would have liked a little wave of course, but its not about me.

Now to clear up the mess in this house that they've made over the last six weeks - there are advantages! grin

SkiSchoolRun Tue 03-Sep-13 09:32:53

I am excited for her not sad. She's ready and keen. I'm happy about that.

I'm happy for them, but a little sad for me IYSWIM, I love the holidays with us all just hanging out together on my days off. I never let on though, it's not about me. Although I empathise with DS, he hates going back every year, loves his holidays.

Saracen Tue 03-Sep-13 12:37:37

I agree with Rooners. True, it's wrong to sound off about HE to people who've made a firm decision to send their kids to school and are comfortable with that decision, just as it's wrong for parents with children at school to come onto the home ed board and suggest school as the solution whenever home ed families are having a rough time.

However, where people genuinely seem unsure about the decision they are making, and perhaps don't have all the information needed, I think it is acceptable to suggest that the decision might be considered, or reconsidered. There are a lot of misconceptions about HE, and many parents who eventually end up home educating say they wouldn't have sent their kids to school in the first place if they had known HE was a realistic option.

Still, I'm very sorry if I have upset anyone. I know that it isn't easy to feel your decisions are being questioned as you are going through a hard time. I did think twice before posting.

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