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And so it begins..... facebook updates telling of glowing end of year reports

(98 Posts)
starterforeight Wed 10-Jul-13 21:09:05

Why do it ?

Tell your kids how proud you are of their effort and or achievement this academic year, let them show their grandparents/favourite auntie/whoever but bragging on facebook is truly vulgar (or "naff" if you prefer).

Don't get me wrong, my dc's reports indicate that they've had a good year but I'd rather stick hatpins in my eyeballs than update my facebook status accordingly.

merrymouse Thu 11-Jul-13 10:16:40

I have 200 friends on there - even if I felt I should (which I don't) I couldn't possibly think through what everyone might want to see and who has stupid ishoos before I post.

Except presumably these people have a real presence in your life as colleagues and acquaintances, even if not close friends.

You might be able to unfriend somebody on Facebook, but not so easy to make somebody vanish in real life.

Labootin Thu 11-Jul-13 10:16:43

The only FB statuses that annoy me are the blatantly untrue ones.
I know (the mother showed me the report as she was going to "tackle the teacher" .. not the child ) her son had a horrendous report (behaviourally and academically) yet the mother still posted that day how proud she was of her darling **ie for "yet another brilliant report".

The majority of FB is pure bullshit.

(I do post holiday photos though)

differentnameforthis Thu 11-Jul-13 10:20:58

Many people have got into all sorts of difficulties by believing that social media is a personal space.

It's a personal space as in it belongs to that person. I'm not getting into the whys & wherefores of privacy etc, because that isn't what I mean.

I mean that my facebook is MY space. Anyone I add gets invited to see MY personal stuff. In which case, they need to respect that I get to post what I want to my space & if they don't like, it is up to them to do something about it, because I don't see why I should censor my page for their taste.

To me, that would be like redecorating my house because a friend doesn't like it.

differentnameforthis Thu 11-Jul-13 10:22:55

If you wouldn't say it to somebody's face, don't say it in social media

I do this, if I don't want people to know something, see something, I keep it to myself.

afussyphase Thu 11-Jul-13 10:23:58

I like google+ for this. I can make a 'circle' of people who I think want to see endless pics of me and the kids - family plus anyone who has asked, usually close old friends overseas. Likewise for anything aimed mainly at grandma who obviously will be very happy hearing how well my DC read and jump and bike and blah blah blah. Colleagues can get ones about a new paper that's interesting or how I used blah blah tool to do blah thing at work. So much nicer. I never post on FB and this thread is partly why: there's always someone who it's really not aimed at on there, no matter what it is, unless it's total trite trivia (in which case I don't want to post it anyway).

GibberTheMonkey Thu 11-Jul-13 10:31:48

I like to hear about my friends lives, the good stuff and the bad. They're my friends after all

I mean I could say I'm proud of ds1 for his outstanding exam results (he's way ahead of his peers)
I also could post I'm incredibly proud of my dd who has just grasped how to read (and is two years behind her peers)
If anything I'm prouder of her because she's had to work so hard to get to where she is. Should my posting about her make other people feel crap? I doubt it because their kids are probably ahead of her but they're my friends so they post positive messages because they know her fight and are proud of her too.
I'm the same with their children.

If you can't be pleased for your friends then I think you need to question whether they really are friends.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 10:35:38

afussyphase you can set up FB in exactly the same way.

I don't because I feel that if you know me you know me. I'm too old to work out which circle of friends I can say what to.

I also get rid of people on there who annoy me regularly. I hardly ever friend request and I accept requests on the basis of they've come to me so can't dictate what I am allowed to say.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 11:55:38

Aw thanks Growlithe, I am possibly over thinking it but also some of my friends on FB will be in his class in September so I didn't want to cause an issur. Presumably they will find out at some point which will probably cause an issue anyway as I haven't told them grin

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 11:59:51

Gibber - you are right, I do actually feel that some of my so called friends have funny attitudes and would not actually be happy about me saying certain things, its just the way they are.

I am wondering if I should spend less time worrying about it and do as I please though!

Periwinkle007 Thu 11-Jul-13 12:27:10

Mrs Melons - post what you like. I try to be a little bit careful so I don't sound too boastful but I am proud of my daughters and what they are achieving in their little lives but i don't see why I shouldn't say I am impressed she has read her first chapter book in case someone else doesn't like it.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 12:37:26

I know you are all right but I worry about what people think about lots of things.

I am just trying to imagine what I would think if some posted on FB 'So proud of DS for being awarded a scholarship to X school'. I actually think I would be straight on there saying well done.

It does seem odd that it is fine to put on sporting achievements but not academic ones! DS2 came 1st in the dressing up race - I was so porud and put a photo on FB of him with his 1st place sticker!

Periwinkle007 Thu 11-Jul-13 12:57:38

my daughter doesn't do well at sports days at all. I am genuinely pleased for my friends be it their child getting excellent results, a head teachers award, scoring a goal, being picked for a team, passing an exam, learning to ride a bike, doing well at sports day, spelling test, learning to tie a bow, whatever it is. and I would hope my real friends would be pleased for my children with similar things. Mine won't be winning scholarships, doing well at sports or anything I don't think but they have their achievements which I am proud of.

Taffeta Thu 11-Jul-13 13:16:08

It's so NOT OK to put sporting achievements on there. Or to discuss them in RL. I speak as a parent of a v sporty child. I can't discuss it anywhere.

And that's fine, TBH.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 13:19:23

Really Taffeta? Why not, I always thought winning at sports and talking about it is ok (I don't as mine are not exceptional at any sport).

That seems such a shame.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 13:19:40

Tell us here grin

Taffeta Thu 11-Jul-13 13:25:18

No way! DS has lost friends over this. sad

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 13:44:40

that is awful Taffeta angry I would have thought other children would think sports achievements to be 'cool'. DS1 gets nasty comments from his 'friends' sometimes but mainly at infant school age they are fascinated by his reading etc. DS1 definitely thinks people who are good at sport are 'awesome'!

Elibean Thu 11-Jul-13 14:18:16

I don't like FB much. Very useful for certain specific times/things/people, occasionally, so I do have a page.

And no problem with others using and liking it.

But I can't imagine finding time or energy to post about my kids day to day life, or mine, on it!

BeerTricksPotter Thu 11-Jul-13 14:38:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dirtyface Thu 11-Jul-13 15:53:57

I only have my FRIENDS on FB so I am genuinely pleased for them if their kids are doing well, or they are having a lovely holiday, or their extension is going to plan....

me too.

i am one of the ones the OP would be annoyed by. my eldest got a brill report and i just couldn't resist telling fb blush

ProbablyJustGas Thu 11-Jul-13 15:58:14

I have a friend who just posted how proud she is of her oldest daughter's YR school report. This friend had a really hard time with her DD1 during the toddler years - lots of acting up to get attention, full of beans, wouldn't listen to Mummy or Daddy or respond to time-out discipline, and my friend had to put up with a loooot of criticism about the way her DD1 behaved. Posting that her DD1 got a glowing school report this year isn't really parental smuggery; it's more like showing her critics (who are mostly well-meaning, but completely insensitive relatives) that her DD1 is not a hell-demon destined for jail and is actually turning out okay.

I posted one of DSD's sporting achievements on FB recently, myself. It is nice once in awhile to communicate good news about DSD's efforts, rather than lament about her reading and math.

TBH, I don't really care if my FB friends don't want to read about it. There are newsfeed settings that they can learn to use. wink

everlong Thu 11-Jul-13 16:35:07

I'm over the moon with ds5 report. It's wonderful and he's done really well. For him. Not level 3 like some of his class ( sats ) but he's made fab progress.

But I wouldn't put it on fb. I'm not sure why. I think when I see others do it it makes me cringe. I know they're proud etc but it's showing off.

Tell the kid how fab they are, that's all.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 17:47:08

I also wonder how we would feel if we could look back on our own parents' newsfeed and find little bursts of pride about our own childhood achievements.

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