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So DD's best friend is a boy...

(35 Posts)
MilestoneMum Thu 27-Jun-13 22:16:44

...and they both like each other very much, but will he reach an age when he won't want to be best friends with a girl anymore?

They are both 4, at nursery together and start reception together in Sep.

mrsshackleton Fri 28-Jun-13 15:55:57

Both my dd's best friends are boys (8 and 6).. There is nothing to be done about it, it's their decision. Whoever your dc's best friend, it's as well to encourage a couple of other friendships, as at this age relationships change weekly.

BooksandaCuppa Fri 28-Jun-13 15:30:10

Ds had three best friends until the end of primary - two of whom were girls. It was a very, very small school, though, and I think it does make a lot of difference. No splitting up of genders or age groups at all. They literally play with whomever they are best suited to playing with.

YoniBottsBumgina Fri 28-Jun-13 13:22:49

My best friend was a boy until year four when his mother decided he was too old to play with girls angry because of her ridiculousness we ended up getting really teased in the playground and it was all very bizarre. I made friends with a different boy instead and we made dinosaur pictures together.

Best-friend-who-wasn't-allowed-to-play-with-girls turned out outrageously camp, openly bisexual and a bit of a pompous twat. I find this really funny when I think about his mother grin

lissieloo Fri 28-Jun-13 13:12:49

DS used to get some stick from his friends for having girl friends, he came back with "you're just jealous because I know how to behave with girls and treat them nicely. When you're older, you'll wish you were like me"

I have indoctrinated him well.

BarbarianMum Fri 28-Jun-13 12:55:20

Obviously the marriage is not scheduled to take place for a few years.

BarbarianMum Fri 28-Jun-13 12:54:11

It is quite usual not to remain firm friends with your best friend from when you are 4. Regardless of gender. smile

Ds2's best friend at pre-school was a little girl. They are still friends now in reception but play together less exclusively, and increasingly with friends of their own gender. It has been a gradual and mutual thing, although ds2 did endure some teasing for playing w girls.

They agreed to get married a while back and have decided they will visit their mummys together, on alternative Sundays. So that's alright then. grin

Startail Fri 28-Jun-13 12:27:29

DD and her 'boy friend' were friends all through KS2, they go to different secondaries, but at 15 and 14 they are still good mates when the run into each other.

SavoyCabbage Fri 28-Jun-13 12:23:52

My dd's best friend is a boy too and she is nearly 10.

spiderlight Fri 28-Jun-13 12:16:29

DS is 6 and in Y1. He has the most beautiful friendship with a little girl he's known since they started nursery together aged 2. They've gone to different schools but still identify each other as their 'best friend' and they get on brilliantly. He was the only boy at her birthday party and I don't think he even noticed. She's very definitely the boss of him, despite being a bit younger and considerably smaller, and I'm hoping that their friendship will be lifelong. The plan as it stands is for DS to marry me first, then his beloved Auntie Sian and then finally this little girl, who will move in with us, along with her mum, when she turns 20. DS is already saving up to build an extension for them to live in grin

JRmumma Fri 28-Jun-13 10:19:06

He might, but as long as your dd has other friends im sure she would get over it.

When I was at nursery school, i played with boys rather than girls. I don't really remember much about drifting apart from them but by the time i was about 7 my friends were mostly girls. Saying that my oldest friend is male. I have always found it much easier to be friends with males than females and think that must just be how i am and always has been. I don't understand why some regard it strange or inappropriate if people of opposite sexes are close platonic friends.

lottiegarbanzo Fri 28-Jun-13 10:09:38

I remember distinct stages of friendships, as a girl happy to be friends with boys. From 3-7 my bf was a girl but we had a close friendship group of two boys. At infant school we played long, imaginative games based on books and TV progs, prided ourselves on our sense and logic, sneering at princessy pink girls who believed in fairies. When we went to juniors at 7 it took all four of us a term to realise that no-one else played those games and friendship groups were single sex. So we made friends with the girls in our class. The boys befriended the non-sporty boys. The end!

We were not interested in football but there was one girl who played with the boys every break but had girls as friends too. All fine.

Fuzzymum1 Fri 28-Jun-13 10:08:10

DS3's best friend is a girl - they were born a few days apart, we live in the same street and they have grown up together. They were in the same class in reception but in different classes for year one - they are still very close and play together at lunchtime still etc. The year apart has done him a lot of good as she tends to dominate him he's developed other friendships and has grown hugely in confidence.

daisychicken Fri 28-Jun-13 10:04:38

Ds's best friends are two girls - they've been best friends since reception/year one and are now going into year four... I'm sure it will change by year 6-7 but then friendships do tend to change about then.. I'm not worried, it's just one of those things!

lissieloo Fri 28-Jun-13 10:00:04

My best friend in the world is a chap I met at mother and toddlers when I was the toddler. We played together from the age of 2, were bff's right through our childhood and teen years, when I got married he gave me away and I was Best Woman at his wedding.
Even now, we speak most days via text or FB and, apart from DH, he knows more about me than anyone else. I realise that we are probably the exception, but one of DS's (8) best friends is a girl too.

Irishmammybread Fri 28-Jun-13 09:56:27

DD2 was best friends with a boy at preschool, they used to play prince and princess together and decided to get married when they were 4. When they went to different primary schools they still visited each others houses and went to each others parties etc but over time they naturally drifted apart . DD2 goes to a small village school so older/younger kids,boys/girls all interact well with each other but now her best friend is a girl.
DD1 13 always preferred to play with boys, up to highschool but is now is closer to her female friends. That may of course all change in the next few years!

DeWe Fri 28-Jun-13 09:47:09

Ds' best friends have been girls really for most of the time through preschool and now he's in year 1. However he tends to go and play football with the boys at break/lunch now. He still regards them as his best friends though.

Dd1 had a boy she said was her best friend in her class (female best friend in another class) through juniors. But when she got to year 6 they started getting teased about being boy/girl friends. They decided they were secret best friends, and would communicate little in school, but did things out of school. She's now in year 7, and they're at different schools and their friendship is getting stronger again.

PoppyWearer Thu 27-Jun-13 22:55:02

My best friend aged about 4-7 was a boy. It drifted after that although 30+ years later we are still in touch!

MilestoneMum Thu 27-Jun-13 22:48:50

Of course I should have said it could be vice versa in my OP. I'm not really worried, I will take that chill pill pronto.

It is so nice to see her enjoy a close friendship, I think I am just the sort who needs something to worry about!

OhTiger Thu 27-Jun-13 22:36:06

She has lot's of girl friends too! Meant to add that.

OhTiger Thu 27-Jun-13 22:35:17

I wouldn't worry about it one bit. up until DD1 went to school her best friend at nursery was a boy and they were inseparable, then they drifted a bit as we both moved, but there was no drama, and when they see each other it's very easy. Now the friend she sees most of, poss because the only one her age in the village, is a boy, and they get on so well, both 11, they hang out, watch movies, play xbox. Chill OP smile

CorrieDale Thu 27-Jun-13 22:34:54

DS's best friend is a girl. In nursery and reception they were inseparable. In y1 they still played together at school. Y2 it was discouraged by their other friends. Now (y3) they play together outside of school and have long chats on the way home. They get invited to each other's birthday parties and very occasionally play at school. I'm very friendly with her mum and we both really like that they are still buddies. I hope they'll always be friends.

muppet1969 Thu 27-Jun-13 22:34:30

So's mine smile

MagratGarlik Thu 27-Jun-13 22:30:49

Why do you assume HE will reach an age where he won't want to be friends with the opposite gender anymore, but she won't?

Just leave them to choose and make their own friends. Children don't need adult interference with respect to who they should or shouldn't be friends with at this age.

Devora Thu 27-Jun-13 22:30:42

dd's best friend through Reception was a boy, before he moved away.

Now, Y2, I think there is definite social pressure to be best friends with a girl, and she is. But she still is friends with a couple of the boys, has playdates with them, invited them to her (small) party. And I don't think that is unusual in her class.

Bunnyjo Thu 27-Jun-13 22:29:30

DD is 5 (in Yr 1) and 2 of her closest friends are boys, twin boys in fact. DD said she wanted to invite them to a sleepover as she has enough room in her (double) bed for the both of them shock

She is good friends with boys and girls. Girl wise, she tends to favour the years above her with her 'best' friend being in Yr 3.

I was friends with boys and girls throughout school, I don't think gender matters.

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