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moving schools

(3 Posts)
8wellyspider Thu 23-May-13 14:04:54

Does anyone have any experiences of moving their primary children?My older DC esp gets a bit anxious, I'm worried they might not settle too well and don't want to look back a regret a move...but looking to move nearby for lots of positive reasons as well as wanting to step away from current school

betterthanthat Thu 23-May-13 14:37:02

I'm sure lots of other people will be along with great advice but for house moving reasons my DD1 (now 8) has moved primary schools twice and DD2 (4) once and both have been fine. Eldest especially is a sensitive wee soul, we just made sure that she (a) understood the reasons for the move, (b) she was able to talk about her fears, but we didn't project anything on to her, (c) we focussed on the positives of the move, and on how well she had made friends at her current school (ie, 'see how good you are at moving') and I also made sure I did lots of groundwork with the schools they moved to so they knew as much as they could about things like the timetable of the day, what was the same or different (stupid things like did they have to ask to go to the loo in the new place), would they be allocated a buddy. Ask the new school about how they settle new children in, in all cases we had a tour of the school with the Head and the children had the chance to ask any questions.

I do think it's important to be as positive as possible for them, even if you're quaking inside, and to listen carefully to them about their fears (for DD1 it was not knowing where the loo was, a quiet word with the teacher on the first day made sure it wasn't an issue). We emphasized that they could stay in touch with old friends (although neither asked about them very quickly after the move) and encouraged making new friends by 'training' them on simple things like asking to play with other children, what to say if someone comes and asks you your name (respond and ask them back - in DD1 case she would just go quiet and not realise it was often an invitation to play), etc. Expect nerves and allow them to be worried - don't try to gloss over their fears but do help them find ways to handle them.

Sorry, that turned into an essay! Good luck whatever you choose to do.

8wellyspider Thu 23-May-13 20:07:32

Thank you so much. I wouldn't have thought of the social clues training, but a new classroom culture might stump them. When we had chance to speak to the potential new Head recently I did ask about buddy system, I believe there would be some support.

I feel cut up inside even thinking about this kind of decision. But someone said recently they regretted not going when a chance came up last year. It's so hard...thanks for this practical advice though smile

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