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6yr old DS keeps messing around in class

(14 Posts)
Missymoomum Wed 22-May-13 04:02:33

Since Easter my Yr 1 DS has, on and off, been messing around in class and i have had his teacher come and see me twice in that time (i work in the school but not as a teacher). He's always been one to get a bit over excited at times and when this happens he finds it very hard to control his emotions and stop when asked, it's almost like another child takes over his body as the rest of the time he is well behaved and a very sensible, helpful, concientious boy. These occasional acts of silliness were being managed but since Easter things seem to have gone wrong and he won't stop when asked which has lead to there being 2 or 3 times when he has had to leave the classroom. His teacher initially came to see me about 3 weeks ago and both myself and DH spoke to him and he settled down again but it's all started again this week and his teacher came to see me again yesterday and she, me and DS are going to all sit down together tomorrow to try to understand why he's doing it. I also spoke to him again last night and he does seem to understand.

I just feel really desperate about it as i really don't want him to be seen as the 'naughty boy' as he really isn't and i'm feeling like a failure at the moment. It's all the more worrying as obviously he's approaching yr2 and that kind of behaviour really isn't going to be tolerated. Any advice would be much appreciated on how i can nip this in the bud.

MariefromStMoritz Wed 22-May-13 04:04:39

Sounds exactly like my DS. Sorry, I don't have any advice (but will be watching this thread with interest).

Euphemia Wed 22-May-13 07:24:20

Does he respond to rewards for the correct behaviour?

What is the school's discipline policy? Coming to see you every time he does something doesn't seem much of a plan - whst would they do if you worked elsewhere and weren't contactable except in an emergency?

He sounds like a few boys I know around that age. One of them has a behaviour book which his teacher uses to fill in a green, yellow or red dot for each half hour of the day. If he gets a certain number of green dots per week he gets a treat in school. If he gets a certain number of dots per month he gets a treat at home. Would your DS respond well to something like that?

Is he coping with the work? We often see this type of behaviour in children who are finding the work tricky, and they act up to mask the fact.

Missymoomum Wed 22-May-13 08:01:05

Euphemia - yes he does respond well to rewards and that is one of the things myself and his teacher have discussed. I just feel slightly reluctant about starting a sticker chart as in many ways i'd like him to be able to independantly decide to behave if that makes sense but perhaps he's still a little young to do that? He's a bright boy so he hasn't been struggling with the work. I think he's a bit like the class clown as he likes to make people laugh and if someone else does something funny then he tends to find that hilarious, especially burping and farting etc hmm . I must say his teacher hasn't come to me that often and has said that she would probably have just emailed me if it wasn't for the fact that it's much easier to come and see me!

Marie - sorry to hear your DS is the same but it is quite nice to know that it's not just my DS iykwim! Hope this thread helps you too.

JTED Wed 22-May-13 09:26:17

Hi there - I'm a regular on here but have recently name changed again

I have a DS who has his silly head on sometimes too and can be seen as the class clown.

I took a look at his diet and made sure any sweet treats he had didn't contain E numbers (artificial flavours and colours) as I'd noticed that his behaviour improved massively once I'd weeded out all the nasties.

Another thing was to get him into chess club at school - it's taught him concentration, forward planning and strategy. Just another way of training him to focus if you see what I mean?

Is there a pattern with your sons behaviour at school - is it always during the same class/topic - it's worth considering that he might find the subject difficult - of may be having issues reading the whiteboard etc, difficulty reading and writing? For instance there are a couple of kids in my DS class who have had problems with written work - I can't remember what it's called but their issues have been greatly helped by using coloured overlays.

Periwinkle007 Wed 22-May-13 09:57:53

don't assume he is finding the work ok because he is bright. bright children can struggle with some things too, they find it easier to hide it normally that is all. my daughter appears very bright but before we realised she had visual processing problems she would really act up about doing reading books from school etc (only at home - she is terrified of getting into trouble at school). she had a problem and was finding it difficult but didn't know how to tell us I assume. JTED is referring to Irlen Syndrome/scotopic sensitivity/eye stress which is what my daughter has as well as her dyslexia problems.

also definitely worth checking about whether it is after he has had say a jam tart at lunchtime or something which could make him hyperactive.

I would go with the sticker thing - kids like something to work towards and they like goals and boundaries.

JTED Wed 22-May-13 10:19:48

periwinkle. Yes - Irlene syndrome IS what I mean.

I second the jam tart thing too - really scrutinise his diet and you'll be amazed - for instance my DS had a particular episode after school lunch and it was narrowed down to what he had for dessert - I even emailed the supplier for a detailed list of ingredients - you'd be amazed what crap food they serve up at school these days - but that's another thread ..... C

Periwinkle007 Wed 22-May-13 10:58:38

one of my daughters goes loopy after breaded chicken or fishfingers unless we buy certain ones. took us a while to work out why. when she was a toddler and we went away for a wedding to make life easier we took ready made toddler food and she wouldn't go to sleep in the evenings. we had an awful time away until we worked out it must be connected. it might be something very small and unexpected but it could make a huge difference

Missymoomum Wed 22-May-13 13:08:57

Thanks for your posts. I hadn't thought of diet being a possible cause I think I'll keep a food diary. I'm meeting with him and his teacher tomorrow afternoon so I will ask her if there's any particular classes/activities/times of day to see if there's a pattern.

leesmum Wed 22-May-13 14:14:43

My Ds1 was exactly the same at that age, I think a lot of boys are, not really naughty just giddy and not listening, I would use the xbox and treats at weekend as bribes if he'd had a good week. Does your Ds do any sports outside school? Sometimes they need that as a way of releasing extra energy!!! Btw my Ds is now in yr3 and has outgrown that boisterous phase smile

Missymoomum Thu 23-May-13 04:11:18

That's really good to hear leesmum, fingers crossed my DS will do the same! Yes he does football and loves going out on his bike at the weekend, he's certainly very energetic!!

Missymoomum Thu 23-May-13 09:14:07

Well i met with his teacher (i live abroad) and apparently he's had a dreadful day today. Got sent out of class, made a girl cry and then messed around in the dining hall and got sent along with 2 other boys to the deputy head sad. I'm gutted. All of these incidents today were done along with other boys so he wasn't the only one and he and his best friend were not allowed to play with each other at last break today. He didn't say an awful lot and just looked very sorry for himself. I asked about a pattern ie certain lesson(s) or time of the day and there isn't. I'm taking away his favourite toy and his teacher is going to start a behaviour chart which will be signed at the end of each lesson if he's been good and if at the end of the day all the boxes are signed he will get a sticker. I think tiredness is playing a big role and we actually go back to the UK next week for just over a week so hopefully the break from school will do him good but i'm also going to look at his diet too. I just feel so disappointed in him. Thanks all.

JTED Thu 23-May-13 10:34:22

Missymoomum what a day you've had!

He's still only little and clearly full of beans. Do try the diet - I have a list of most of the offending E numbers:

Seven suspect food additives

Tartrazine E102
Quinoline yellow E104
Sunset yellow E110
Carmoisine E122
Ponceau 4R. E124
Allura red E129
Sodium benzoate E211

E211 is a preservative, all others above are artificial colourings

Www.actiononadditives.com

leesmum Thu 23-May-13 23:00:41

Missymoomum you've had a horrid day and are understandibly feeling upset about how today has gone, maybe JTED has a point about his diet, it can't hurt to exclude a few things from his diet, does he have a good evening routine? If it helps pretty much everying your DS got up to today I had with my DS at some point, apparently he was a "follower" and as soon as something happened in class he would join in!! Don't be too hard on yourself and im sure he won't always.be this way in school x

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