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What do you think of this decision/comment from DD's teacher?

(19 Posts)
LynetteScavo Thu 16-May-13 20:45:18

I will be honest here: I don't like DD's teacher. I like every thing else about the school. My DC have been attending this school for the past 6 years.

Each child has a homework diary. These are very fancy, (and I imagine not cheap) but very under used. Each week DD's school reading book is recorded in it, and nothing else.

Anyway, we miss-laid DDs homework diary. Her teacher then told her she couldn't have a new reading book, until we found it. This isn't really an issue, as DD t is on the level of reading book DD is on is too difficult for her. I have not asked for her to be moved back down, as she is already on the lowest level for any child in her class. So we are reading books we have at home already/from the library.

I am quite an organised mum, and in lots of years of sending DC to school, this is the very first time we ever mislaid the home reading record.

This is a straw/camel/back moment.

What if we never found the damn book? (DH did find it on the lower level of the coffee table!) And this teacher didn't let DD have another reading book for the rest of the year? I'm not just speculating here....I know she wouldn't until I got the deputy head involved, who would just say "of course you can have/bay (I would offer to pay!) a new diary...of course your child needs a reading book."

What about the children who lose their diaries, who are struggling academically, with parents who don't speak up for them??? They would just never have another reading book.

bamboostalks Thu 16-May-13 20:49:11

Well you've said that you don't like her so that's behind your annoyance. Bit of a silly thing to say but there you go, no doubt she would've gone back on her threat. Forget it. Look forward to seeing the back of her.

blueberryupsidedown Thu 16-May-13 20:51:51

I think it's a bit much. I would personally have bought/made a reading book and made it very special.

I know how you feel, I really don't like my DS2's teacher, but I try my best to not show how I feel. I don't like her attitude, the way she speaks to parents, and I don't like the fact that she has problems acknowledging that DS has a learning difficulty (recorded and diagnosed, well documented by pediatricians). The school recognises the issues, but she makes absolutely no allowances for him.

Just take a deep breath, count to ten or one hundred, have a cuppa, and move on. It's the only thing you can do. Only one term to go!

tharsheblows Thu 16-May-13 20:54:38

I'd ask the deputy head informally what happens when kids lose their diaries. Just word it like you did here, leaving out your dislike for the teacher, ask if that's the school's policy and say you don't agree. I wouldn't be accusatory, I'd be pleasant.

Of course, I got long nasty emails from the bursar from his home email adress, sent at 1am, after asking for an updated copy of the fire plan after renovations. So there are fucking insane people out there. (My son moved schools due to the school's management. The headmistress, for example...)

BabiesAreLikeBuses Thu 16-May-13 22:22:37

This sounds like a threat made to spur you onto finding the reading record, i'm (fairly) sure no decent school would plan to withhold books! We do charge £3 for replacement diaries but have the discretion to cover this for financial hardship etc. not sure that with one term to go this is worth raising as you said you'd found it, as blueberry says get yourself a cuppa (or something stronger).... It's irritating but...

WhiteBirdBlueSky Fri 17-May-13 00:06:35

She's just saying 'you definitely need to try and find it'. Nothing to get too stressed over. You seem to think she's laying down some kind of law. Teachers can't just hand stuff out willy nilly.

LindyHemming Fri 17-May-13 06:26:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redskyatnight Fri 17-May-13 11:21:33

That seems bonkers and you would have to hope that if the book hadn’t turned up they would have imposed a different sanction.
And surely opens itself up to children deliberately losing diaries so they don’t have to do reading at home.

DS’s school use similar diaries, they make it very clear to the children that there is a £5 charge if they lose them.

jellysmum77 Fri 17-May-13 11:35:22

I agree that you can't keep giving out equipment, believe me, I worked in a school where you were lucky if you got things back from half of the class each week and it can be very frustrating. Obviously at first you might say go and have a good look for it but after a while it is silly to not let her have a reading book! Maybe it was just a threat to make her have a proper look for it.
What worries me more to be honest though was the comment;
I have not asked for her to be moved back down, as she is already on the lowest level for any child in her class.
It should not be dependent on what class she is in but what reading stage she is at! Has the teacher said that or is it something you have assumed? If she is struggling it would better for her to be on a book that she feels confident with. In the long run it will help her much more to be on a lower level that she is able to access than something that is just too hard. I would have a chat to the teacher about how you feel about this and see if they think the same or maybe they find that she is fine with those books in school. smile

PastSellByDate Fri 17-May-13 11:43:09

OK -

Question 1) Why are diaries for school kids more than £5 worth and why on earth not just some cheap notebook? Surely taxpayers money could be spent more productively - especially if as you say all they are doing is writing down a book title once a week and otherwise it isn't used.

Question 2) They've lost the homework book - so shouldn't activities in relation to the homework book cease (i.e. writing titles of books given to child, comments, marking work, etc...) since the folder for holding that kind of thing is missing.

Question 3) Why on earth do schools opt to suspend reading books or fail to regularly provide reading books. Is it an AIBU moment for me - but I can't understand why institutions purportedly dedicated to education of children would deny them regular access to reading material?

If anyone out there can explain why our school endlessly sends me letters about non-returned library books with fines, rather than look for the mislaid book themselves let me know. We've had this about 3 times this year and each time it has turned out to be an error - mis-shelved by students, left in library by accident after checking out and re-shelved and in one case just a spurious error - DD1 would never read non-fiction.

LynetteScavo Fri 17-May-13 19:22:32

but I can't understand why institutions purportedly dedicated to education of children would deny them regular access to reading material?

I did wonder this when my DC did't come home with reading books at the beginning of the academic year - the HT told me it was they didn't have enough books for everyone.hmm They had enough money to buy 30 ipads, though. And later managed to dig out some ancient (and I mean ancient the stamp says "Middle School" in it - I don't think we've have middle schools around here for at least 20 years) Biff and Chip books to delight us with.

LynetteScavo Fri 17-May-13 19:33:23

jellysmum77 I totally see your point, but DS self confidence is already very shaky around reading and writing (she's dyslexic) she's very aware that she's on the lowest level book, has the lowest level target, etc. Other children sometimes innocently point out things like "My book is 8 stages higher than yours," for example, which upsets DD. I think moving her down would be crushing, and helping her by offering other books is the way to go to boost her confidence.

Anyway, I'm over it now - can't believe I was so angry about it last night. grin

daftdame Fri 17-May-13 19:35:31

Can't penalise a child's learning for this though, no matter how annoying.

I think the school should take a view, get cheaper reading diaries, or not expect a diary as such, just expect parent to write a note concerning any difficulty / concerns.

When we were at school we just had a bookmark (made from old greetings cards!), did the job. Presume teacher kept track of it all in a master record. Never have had many comments in reading diary anyway.

daftdame Fri 17-May-13 19:36:23

^ btw the 'bookmarks' were written on.

Wellthen Sat 18-May-13 11:02:16

You're annoyed about something that might have happened but didnt and wouldnt make any difference anyway because her reading books are wrong?

As another poster said, this can be summed up in your comment 'I dont like the teacher' - her actions make no difference.

I have a parent like this. I was once told my comments in her homework book 'always negative, never positive' - I didnt bother pointing out the 1 or 2 positives I always put on homework, athough I did do a quick check and I had indeed done this on every peice since September. What I actualy DO makes no difference to this parent.

LynetteScavo Sat 18-May-13 14:08:01

Maybe because you're generally negative, about that child, Wellthen, which in the parents mind outweighs the positive comments you've made. Parents tend not to like teachers who are negative about their children, however much the teacher thinks the feedback is justified.

Wellthen Sat 18-May-13 15:06:25

My point was her argument was unjustified. She didnt say I am 'generally negative' or that my feedback is too negative, she said it is NEVER positive. This is not true.

She has previously stormed in for her child's homework book which 'still' hadnt come home. Homework is due on a Monday and given out on Wednesday. This was a Tuesday. I calmly explained this and she simply flounced out saying 'well how was I supposed to know?' apology for speaking to me rudely or making a mistake.

I was also critised for not singing her happy birthday...I was mystified as we always do this on birthdays. After asking her birthday date and trawling my diary I discovered I wasn't in school that day. I then discovered that their supply did sing and even, at the children's prompting, let her sit on 'the big chair' (the children's name for my desk chair) during reading time and let her tell the class about her presents and party: all the things I always do when we have a birthday. So I cant really work out exactly what the school did wrong there.

Like I said, I'm damned if I do and damned if I dont. Im sure many parents have genuine reasons for not liking their child's teacher. But there are SOME who are just unreasonable.

LynetteScavo Sat 18-May-13 18:05:28


Wellthen Sat 18-May-13 18:59:43


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