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three top tips to really help your child succeed and not just make you feel better

(74 Posts)
tameteacher Tue 19-Mar-13 23:26:45

Hi, I'm a happy mother of two and a top-notch primary school teacher/manager.

If you really want to help your child- and not just want to 'kick the cat' ie, take any frustrations, bad hair days, relationship problems out on the nearest person who can't kick back (ie your child's teacher) you need to be grown up and selfless (in other words a caring parent) and think about the following:

1) Whatever you think about the school/headteacher/teacher/homework policy/father of your child, your child wants to hear that everything is under control. If you have a problem with any of the above, sort it out adult-to-adult without dragging your child into the fray. If you slag your child's teacher off in front of them, at best you will be diminishing the effect that teacher can have on improving your child's performance and at worst you are turning the world into a place that your child sees as out-of-control. Save us all from parents who use the above to scare their child into loving them, and only them. I've seen too many in my time; unforgivable.

2) Help your child to grow up seeing their place in the world in relation to others. Some parents treat their children, and expect others to treat them, as little princes/princesses. Not only does this make them unpopular with their peers, it makes them unhappy when the real world smacks up against their self-image. Just remember that EVERYONE thinks that their child is special- that's what being a parent is about. And it means that everyone should teach their children that everyone else is as special as them. Share. Get your kid off that swing and let the next kid have a go. Talk to other children and show your child that you think they are important too.

3) Read. Read every day. Let your child see you read. Listen to your child read. Don't tell your child's teacher that you don't have time to read with your child; you're talking to someone who starts work at 8.00am and stops marking/preparing at 9.00pm.

Finally, remember that your child's teacher is human, just like you. Most teachers like most of their children's parents. Even if they don't, they are too professional to take it out on a child- they wouldn't be doing the job if they didn't love helping children to be the best they can be. True, there are a few duff teachers out there but at least teachers have to qualify to teach. If only some parents had to qualify to be parents...

Tameteacher x

Welovegrapes Tue 19-Mar-13 23:45:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snice Tue 19-Mar-13 23:50:14

'top-notch' makes me think of the chap from the old British films going 'ding dong!' ?Terry Thomas maybe

DevaDiva Wed 20-Mar-13 00:14:48

Ok, thanks for that shock

Shattereddreams Wed 20-Mar-13 06:57:26

Bad day at work?

Feenie Wed 20-Mar-13 07:00:14

Not sure a 'top notch' teacher would make a prat of themselves hurling advice on good/bad parenting at people whether they want it or not! wink

TiredyCustards Wed 20-Mar-13 07:01:15


Pozzled Wed 20-Mar-13 07:04:32

Oh, wow. OP I'm so glad you posted, I've now seen the error of my ways. It had never occurred to me to do any of that.


Seriously though, you're posting in primary education- the people here know this. I've met plenty of the parents you're thinking of, but don't be so patronising as to assume it's the majority.

PatriciaHolm Wed 20-Mar-13 07:07:02

Oh dear. Has a bad parents evening?

You are presumably aware that you are coming across as somewhat patronising, right?

Chubfuddler Wed 20-Mar-13 07:09:21

Leslie Phillips

Chubfuddler Wed 20-Mar-13 07:10:10

I agree the parents who need telling this stuff are unlikely to bother to spend their time on an Internet forum dedicated to parenting.

Timetoask Wed 20-Mar-13 07:10:25

I don't know why people are being sarcastic. Those are good suggestions.
Unfortunately, the people that treat their children this way are unlikely to change their attitude because it is so ingrained in them.

mnistooaddictive Wed 20-Mar-13 07:12:06

I am a teacher, I know you meant well but there is no need to be so condescending.

Chubfuddler Wed 20-Mar-13 07:12:43

They're good suggestions to make to the right audience. Which isn't here.

Perhaps some workshops for the parents at your school op?

learnandsay Wed 20-Mar-13 08:13:51

It probably needed to be said and for the OP where it got said probably wasn't the main thing. All in all I agree with you, OP. And I'm glad it's off your chest.

tameteacher Mon 01-Apr-13 18:22:33

Great parents' evening- as always- and no intention to be condesending; perhaps that's just too easy an explanation for those who may be uneasy with my post!
FTR, Presently I work in a school 'deprived' of middle class, privileged, mums.
Is it condesending to expect some acceptance of responsibility for your own children?
Glad to read some posts from the grown ups,
TT x

RosemaryandThyme Mon 01-Apr-13 19:41:09

Three top tips for being a decent teacher....

1 - Never assume you know more about the child than their parents.

2 - Never assume that a one year PGCE gives you any ability to engage learners.

3 - Accept that you have faults and over-come them with humility and grace.

PyroclasticFlo Mon 01-Apr-13 19:47:56

Another top tip for teachers - learn to spell the word condescending before using it.

EmpressMaud Mon 01-Apr-13 19:49:58

Quite right, Pyro.

Welovegrapes Mon 01-Apr-13 20:41:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RaisinBoys Mon 01-Apr-13 21:05:21

I sincerely hope that you are not my child's teacher.

Your 3 tips are so redolent of judgement and prejudice that anyone who could be bothered to read to the end would doubtless be reaching for the sick bucket.

Contrary to what you think, the vast majority of parents, even in your school "deprived of middle class mums", are attempting to raise children who will become happy, confident, worthwhile, non-judgemental adults.

I trust your self assessment as "a top notch primary teacher" is said ironically.

Oh and I don't buy the 13 hour day either.

Haberdashery Mon 01-Apr-13 21:45:40

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Haberdashery Mon 01-Apr-13 21:53:01

Also, you absolute idiot, bad hair day? BAD HAIR DAY? Do you have any idea what kinds of lives some people have?

fuckwittery Mon 01-Apr-13 21:56:36

Are we meant to be thanking you for this thread?

I used to work longer hours than 8am to 9pm* and would have been most unimpressed if I ever got shit from the teacher for not reading the reading books each day with a lecture about how I was talking to someone who worked long hours.

*without school holidays off

Couldn't wouldn't teach if you paid me a million pounds and don't begrudge the teachers the time off, but seriously, lecturing people about the hours you work in response to a parent not reading with their child? Helpful.

HiggsBoson Mon 01-Apr-13 22:41:09

Quite probably the most patronising OP I have ever read on MN grin

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