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Found out DD went to a netball match and was left unattended, wwyd?

54 replies

npg1 · 07/03/2013 18:30

We pay for private education as we thought it would be better, however I am having serious doubts.

2 DD's aged 10 and 6yrs old.

DD enjoyed school until yr3 and then it changed for some reason. She doesnt like PE and is in the D team (A-D teams, A being the best.) The school doesnt see to focus much on the D team, they are just shoved to the side. The a's get loads of help and support and always playig matches. Im not too fussed as DD isnt the sporty type.

Yesterday they went to a school about 25 miles away for a netball match. They were taken down there on a coach with 2 teachers and all the teams. When they got there the D team were left at the sports hall with the other team from the school which was a B team. The teacher then said she was going outside with the other teams and other teacher! They were then left to play a game on their own with no support and got thrashed 31-1 with no guidence and taunting from the other team.

I only knew about this because the head master phoned me this morning and apologised and said it should have never had happened and it was completely wrong and the situation is being dealt with. I didnt say much at the time because I was in shock but now im totally fuming and dont know what to do. I am awaiting an email from one of the mums which has gone to the headmaster.

Any help would be great please

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scaevola · 07/03/2013 18:36

Well, if the HT has apologised, there really isn't much else that'll happen. He can't control dreadful behaviour by pupils of another school, nor the poor quality of their staff (as the adults in charge of the game).

You may like to find out for future how they will manage fixtures better (OK, there isn't that much difference in team standards in year3, but generally B teams shouldn't be paying D teams), and how many staff they will send to accompany away matches in future.

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npg1 · 07/03/2013 18:43

thanks for that. I have said dd isnt going on any away matches again!

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Uppermid · 07/03/2013 18:43

I disagree. He should be apologising more as should the staff. Their lack of supervision, support and encouragement is appalling, you need to know that this wont happen in the future, that the d team get as much attention and support as the a team

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npg1 · 07/03/2013 18:46

thanks uppermid, aparently one of the mums tried to speak to the head pe teacher today and she just shrugged it off with attitude and then asked the mum to email her!

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outtolunchagain · 07/03/2013 19:27

Is this the daughter that is 10 , if so then unless I am missing something it doesn't sound ideal but its hardly a disaster . My ds is at an independent prep which plays lots of matches both home and away, I would not be best pleased that there was no teacher inside the hall ( who was refereeing?) but at 10 I would expect them to be able to organise themselves .

I would think hard about excluding her from matches as they are a big part of independent school life and could make her the odd one out.After all she wasn't in any danger was she?

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MammaMedusa · 07/03/2013 21:03

I was in the D team. We were always encouraged and supported. (state)

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npg1 · 07/03/2013 21:58

Yes this is my 10yr old and no she wasnt in danger but thats not the point. The point is they were left to their own devices while the teachers went and supported the better teams because they are not interested in the D's.

We are paying good money and I just feel very let down

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outtolunchagain · 07/03/2013 22:15

I agree that the lack of coaching iis appalling ,my ds plays in the C team at the moment and the teams go down to F but watching his matches yesterday all had teachers refereeing .Not always from their own school because all the teachers split the matches up between them.

I still wouldn't withdraw her from matches though, and I do think the Head was brave to take the initiative , not all would do that. Perhaps this will be the wake up call that the games staff need.

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npg1 · 07/03/2013 22:29

yes thank you, perhaps it is. I have sent an email to the school tonight raising my concerns. Im seriously considering sending them to the local primary school!

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newgirl · 07/03/2013 22:33

Could you go and watch the next game and find out what goes on?

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LynetteScavo · 07/03/2013 22:42

I'm finding all this talk of A-D teams scary! I've never heard of such a thing in a state primary school....the whole class just does PE together IME....but then there will only be one team in a state school, and if you're not on it (through choice) you'll never play any matches.

Does the school take the same attitude to children who struggle with literacy/numeracy?

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jo164 · 07/03/2013 22:45

I assume the teacher from the other school was umpiring their game? If so this in itself is not really a problem, it would be a very lucky school to have enough staff for 1 per team. My issue actually would lie with the kind of supervision the staff assigned to this match was giving. I teach PE in a prep and if a match is very one sided it is common practice to try through umpiring and player/position rotation to even the game up. I would also like to question why she was letting her pupils behave in a particularly unsporting and rude manner to visiting opposition. The member of staff should be looking after all the children, not just her own school. Personally I would also rotate my staff at half time so that each team had some time with their own staff umpiring - for guidance and encouragement. It doesn't sound ideal, but perhaps some blame actually lies with the staff at the other school?

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ExitPursuedByABear · 07/03/2013 22:52

It is wrong that the team was left unsupported, but I am not sure the fact that you pay for it has any relevance?

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stealthsquiggle · 07/03/2013 23:02

Agree with jo164 - I occasionally watch DS's home matches and whether it is the A or the D team (he can be in either, or even F, depending on the sport) there is one teacher - generally "belonging" to the home team, who umpires - but they are looking after all the DC, and it is a blend of umpiring and coaching, and if a match was that one-sided then they would act to even it up somehow. If the opposition teacher was umpiring then they are largely to blame.

I would hold fire, OP, and see what the head has to say about what they will change to make sure it never happens again. I would also hesitate to pull your DD out of away matches - competing in matches, at an appropriate level, is often a core part of prep school life, and it would be a shame for her to miss out.

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stealthsquiggle · 07/03/2013 23:05

Oh and DS's teachers would come down like a ton of bricks on unsporting behaviour or taunting from "their" DC. Being both good winners and good losers is drummed into them HARD.

The only time I have seen a hosting PE teacher consult the visiting staff was when he had to resort to sending a child off for repeated punching/kicking - he checked with the other teacher first.

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housepiglet · 09/03/2013 15:53

I agree that it shouldn't have happened, but really, it's not the end of the world. If you feel that the school's attitude/reluctance to acknowledge a fault is a serious problem then maybe your DDs are at the wrong school.

I noticed you said that your DD couldn't go to any more away matches, and I thought that was a real shame. As a child I loved matches (netball, hockey, tennis, whatever), and away matches are great fun: coach journey, new surroundings etc. Adventure!

If you want your DDs to remain in the school I'd hesitate long and hard before depriving them of the fun of playing in an away match. If the teachers mess up (as it seems they did here) then at least it gives the children something to chat about and bond over!

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housepiglet · 09/03/2013 15:56

Jo164 said:

"I teach PE in a prep and if a match is very one sided it is common practice to try through umpiring and player/position rotation to even the game up."

Wow! Don't you find that the children resent that? By definition, one team always has to lose in a competition. I'd have thought that unfairness/cheating on the part of the umpires in an attempt to bring about an artificial result would be likely to switch children off rather than inspire them to do their best.

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rabbitstew · 09/03/2013 16:24

I'm confused. Your school took 4 teams to a school which only fields 2 teams and both teachers from your school went outside with their A-C teams whilst nobody whatsoever supervised your D team versus their B team? Or did an adult from the other school supervise the D team? And what did the A-C team members get up to when they weren't playing, if they only had one team to play against their three?

Frankly it sounds like a shambles. Were they incapable of talking properly to the other school in advance and organising the event properly? If you have twice as many players as the other school, shouldn't you be mixing your teams up a bit, rather than letting the A-C teams exhaust the other school's A team and leaving the D team to be thrashed unsupported???? Surely your school's A & B team should have been outside with the other school's A team and your schools C & D team inside with the B team, with one teacher from your school outside and one inside????? Or perhaps on this occasion, all 4 teams shouldn't have gone to the event??? I would be very annoyed at the inability of the teachers to use the correct children to play the correct games - why play a D team against a B team and let them be thrashed? To prove to them they deserve to be a D team??? Mind you, if they never get any supervision, it's not surprising they aren't much good...

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learnandsay · 09/03/2013 16:31

Getting beaten is disappointing but getting thrashed 31-1 could put you off sport for life if you're an overly sensitive type.

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learnandsay · 09/03/2013 16:31

And being laughed at in the process.

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jo164 · 09/03/2013 17:46

Yes its fine to lose but getting thrashed does noone any favours. Children don't need to be put off sport at this age, we want them to all enjoy it and why when the result is clear cut shouldn't a teacher put on some weaker players and give them a chance at competing too - at their level? An umpire doesn't have to 'cheat' to help even up a match, and as long as the right team win at the end surely it's better that all have enjoyed the experience? Children also need to learn to both win and lose with grace which it seems the opposition didn't know how to do in this case.

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stealthsquiggle · 09/03/2013 21:20

Not that I am a PE teacher (far from it!) but I agree with Jo. I have seen DS's teachers, when refereeing an uneven match, sub on any weaker players, go to modified rules (e.g. uncontested scrums) and generally engineering the match so that while the weaker side will still lose, they retain some pride and ideally get a reasonable score.

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Happymum22 · 09/03/2013 21:53

What did your DD say to you after the match (before the head had phoned you)? Did she come home positive or did she raise any of these issues herself? Did she tell you she had lost 31-1?!

While it is not right it could be a parent is exaggerating or making problems worse, it could be the other school did thrash them but you'd hope the teacher would come and check how they were doing, see how badly it was going and stay and support/move the team about etc.

If your DD didn't appear bothered (or until you knew the situation) it may be that the girls were fine, the atmosphere wasn't at all as bad as made out and your DD enjoyed the game. At 10 I think they start to be more competitive but generally (especially if they are D team so probably don't get to go to many matches) they will be more proud to have represented the school, in their team kit, 'player of the match', exciting match tea afterwards etc.- often the actual result can go over their head and become irrelevant!

Still agree it was an appalling situation, very bad practice from sports teachers and will have affected some children badly.

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morethanpotatoprints · 09/03/2013 21:59

The HT is to blame. It is his/her job to make sure everything is lawful. The dc were left unattended, what if there had been an incident.
I don't think the school should have not had one of their own teachers there.

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ravenAK · 09/03/2013 22:07

If the HT is ringing around parents to apologise, it's probably safe to assume that the teacher concerned is getting THE most almighty bollocking.

I would wait & see how it's dealt with before banning your dd from going to away matches.

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