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why do teachers pick on the quiet ones??

(32 Posts)
Mytwobeautifulgirls Thu 10-Jan-13 22:06:45

why is it that teachers always feel the need to pocket on the quiet ones. I'm talking about pupils of anyone primary up to university level.

Mytwobeautifulgirls Thu 10-Jan-13 22:24:31

thanks for all your answers just wanted to know dd is a very confident girl at home just at school with teachers. thanks again. smile

cory Thu 10-Jan-13 22:27:19

I think the most important thing you can tell your dd is not "this is how to avoid a task that makes you uncomfortable", but "I understand that this makes you uncomfortable, but you don't have to always feel that way, you can learn to get better and better at it, confidence is something you can learn just like bike riding, some people find it easier than others but everybody can get better than they were".

I grew up with a very shy mother who excused me from all social interactions for many years because she assumed that if you were shy you had to remain shy. In later years, I have realised how much more helpful it would have been if she had reassured me that I could get over my shyness and perhaps have taught me some useful strategies. Instead, I had to teach myself in my early twenties - and that was not easy. But I had come to realise what a social and professional disadvantage my shyness was, and I became very lonely once I left my nuclear family, so something had to be done.

It's a bit as if I had been overweight and hated exercise and she had let me slouch on the settee- it made me feel less uncomfortable at the time but stored up trouble for later. I have put a lot of work into helping my own dc to get over their shyness in a gentle way, and it has paid off; they are both far more confident than I was.

cory Thu 10-Jan-13 22:29:10

I was just like your dd: very confident at home. But home doesn't stay with you forever.

Mytwobeautifulgirls Thu 10-Jan-13 22:33:40

greensleeves you have very good ways of teaching. they make the lesson fun and more that the child hopes to get picked by the butterfly. nice idea.

Greensleeves Thu 10-Jan-13 22:36:27

thank you! I am only a supply teacher though.

I hope your dd grows in confidence x

Mytwobeautifulgirls Thu 10-Jan-13 22:39:07

yes she is getting better thanks. it only seems we have a prob with this teacher all the other years she has loved school. and she is a very bright girl so it's not that she struggles with the work.

dangly131 Thu 10-Jan-13 22:50:53

Self assessment is ok but the child has to be honest about it, if they are shy they might not want to draw attention to the fact they need more help or they may just put what their friend or other people on their table has because they don;t want to stand out. I asked a higher ability child today what things he wants to work on before SATs which he feel he is less confident in as I wanted his opinion alongside the teacher assessments. He told me 'I don't struggle with anything' then 15 minutes later he asks me for help because he is not sure how to multiply using decimals. Self assessment only works if the child is honest enough.

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