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Told not to help in dd's class as it unsettles her. ..

(39 Posts)
orangeandlemons Thu 13-Dec-12 11:59:15

I started helping in dd.s class. She is 6 and was really happy about it. I have only done 2 weeks. The first week she was fine, but the second week she got very upset and awkward.

Teacher told me today to leave it for a few weeks as it is unsettling her. I feel miffed. Are they right in this? I'm a teacher, but whilst I sort of understand this, I do think dd would have settled eventually. Now I have to tell her I can't go in and she will be gutted.

simpson Sat 15-Dec-12 00:15:04

In my DC school you cannot volunteer to be with the same year group as your DC.

So I have a child in yr3 and reception and read with kids in yr1,2 and 4.

Having said that no parent volunteers are allowed in reception anyway as we are there to listen to kids read and a lot of them cannot read and the ones that can, the teachers want to oversee it ( fair enough IMO).

Fuzzymum1 Fri 14-Dec-12 22:44:36

I found the same - I had been helping in the year 1/2 class while he was in YR and now he has moved up into year 1 I am still there. When I first helped this year he was fine then he started getting really upset that I was with other children rather than him, I explained to him that if he got upset by me being there I would have to stop and that would be a shame. It took a week or two but he was fine - now I get a "Hello mummy" when I arrive and he carries on with what he was doing.

carolb54 Fri 14-Dec-12 16:24:01

Not quite sure it is a good idea to assist in your DC classroom. It might unsettle your DC.

On the other hand, some parents go to assist in classroom with a different motives. They normally gossip in the playground about which DC are in bottom of groups etc which I find very distasteful.

SunflowersSmile Fri 14-Dec-12 15:56:07

I don't volunteer at school to sit with my child/ be in his class.
I am in different year group and do it in a class that needs people to listen to children read. Would hate to be breathing down my own child's neck at school.

lljkk Fri 14-Dec-12 15:16:37

I am always amazed by MNers saying they can't volunteer in own child's class.

Do your schools actually get any volunteers? Not many, I'll wager. And mostly only people who are looking for a job eventually in school environments.

to OrangeAndLemons: sadly some of my DC turned into PITA if I came to volunteer, too. Got better as they got older, though, sometimes.

DoesntTurkeyNSproutSoupDragOn Fri 14-Dec-12 15:05:14

No, but it apparently is disrupting your DDs learning.

orangeandlemons Fri 14-Dec-12 14:53:46

Well, obviously not then, but somehow I don't think it would at secondary level. I would love to try it and see.grin

learnandsay Fri 14-Dec-12 12:05:10

Orange, who is lazy, the mum, the pupil or both?

DoesntTurkeyNSproutSoupDragOn Fri 14-Dec-12 12:04:42

What if it was disrupting the child's learning though?

orangeandlemons Fri 14-Dec-12 11:31:05

Well I'm a secondary school teacher and .................yes I would love it, if f it was one of the lazy ones who won't do anything!

juniper904 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:34:19

OP, as a teacher, would you want a parent of one of your class with you?

Personally, I wouldn't. It's a lot of pressure.

learnandsay Thu 13-Dec-12 22:13:57

I was a bit miffed at pickup today. Some mother, obviously a parent helper, stood inside the cloakroom taking ages to wrap her son up, as we all stood outside in the cold. She didn't pay any attention to any other other children. And then when she was finished she said goodbye to the teacher, shuffled her child out of the room, closing the door behind her, and our children were led out of the classroom into the freezing air, as usual, without their gloves on and with their coats undone.

Is there some element of - I go into school to help out insofar as I look after my own?! -

exoticfruits Thu 13-Dec-12 22:06:33

Just offer to help in another class- problem solved.

Viviennemary Thu 13-Dec-12 21:46:55

A lot of schools don't allow parents to work in their child's class. I think this is a sensible policy. Why not offer to help in a different class.

fossil97 Thu 13-Dec-12 21:41:09

I found the same thing doing Sunday school - the DCs very unsettled (well naughty and attention seeking) if I was leading their group. Even though they made a big fuss beforehand "mummy I want you to be the teacher this week".

You can't really control how your child reacts and it does confuse the boundary between school and home.

The teacher is asking you to leave it a few weeks, not booting you out because you're awful. And TBH if it isn't the whole story, do the teacher the kindness of not having to spell out that she doesn't 100% get on with you or some other awkwardness!

Tgger Thu 13-Dec-12 21:33:15

I went to help once in DS's reception class. He stayed by my side the whole time grin, apart from the 5 minutes his teacher prised him off me to "do a job". In the end I gave up fighting it and asked him to give me a tour of the classroom (during CHIL). I did not repeat the exercise! I think if I wanted to help again I'd go to a different class.

DeWe Thu 13-Dec-12 19:06:55

Some children are fine with their parent in, others aren't. I don't help in ds's class because he either plays up when I'm there, or clings dramatically to me. Neither of which is helpful.
Dd1 loved me in there and I was fine even dealing with her in a group. Dd2 was fine with me in the classroom, but I asked not to take a group with her in because it didn't work.
I happily choose to help in a classroom that ds isn't in, and he's quite happy with that.

TurkeyDino Thu 13-Dec-12 18:54:22

This is pretty much why I don't volunteer at DS's nursery. I know he would be unsettled by it so I can't see any benefit to the class by my being there.

GreatUncleEddie Thu 13-Dec-12 18:49:14

You don't have to tell her you aren't allowed to go in. Make up an excuse.

catnipkitty Thu 13-Dec-12 18:42:34

I often helped in DDs infant school and parents were never allowed to be in the same year let alone the same class as their child/ren. Makes sense to me.

SunflowersSmile Thu 13-Dec-12 17:34:23

Agree ask to be in another class..
Would dislike working in my children's class..

Toomuchturkeyatendofthedinner Thu 13-Dec-12 16:54:03

Our school always places parents in a different class to their Dc

( except the attached preschool, who will grab ANYBODY willing to help deal with 40 over excited 3 and 4 year olds any day grin )

After helping in the nursery, I was a bit confused how it changed when Ds started school proper, (Scottish system, so age 5) but I can completely understand it, my Ds would be playing up for my attention, probably being a bit silly, and I would prefer to be in a class as Mrs Xxx the helper rather than "Ds mum" iyswim.

Anyway, maybe ask for one more week. I know they are all knackered at this time of year, Ds is prone to 5pm meltdowns just about every day at the moment <chants 6 more days to go, 6 more days to self>

auntevil Thu 13-Dec-12 16:48:00

When I volunteered I was in a different class to my DCs. TBH I wouldn't have wanted to be in the same class.
I volunteered to support the school that educates my children, not to get a sneaky look at them being educated.

LIZS Thu 13-Dec-12 16:40:04

If you really want to volunteer then it won't matter that it isn't your dd's class. Many schools actively discourage it anyway.

mrz Thu 13-Dec-12 16:37:46

We always ask parents to help in classes where they haven't got a child because it can be very unsettling for children especially the younger ones.
As a parent I always asked to be in a different KS to my own children when I helped out and even refused supply work in my child's class.

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