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feeling a bit anxious about ds in reception - youngest in year..anyone else?

(13 Posts)
ellasmum1 Sat 17-Nov-12 22:58:54

Hi,i'm a little worried about my ds who was only 4 on 30th august this year.He is really enjoying the social side of school but teacher has made me worry a bit by talking about under developed fine motor skills/poor pencil control/inability to concentrate for longer periods.
She took me aside the other day to tell me he is going into a separate group of about 10 children who need more help with these skills ..
I want to take her seriously but at the same time my maternal instinct wants to say" but hes a baby! hes only just 4! etc. Although that may be dismissive of the fact that she obviously teaches children who are the youngest every year so should have more of an idea of what is normal or not IYSWIM.
Is anyone else in this position /been in it? Also he seems to be left handed (like me) so i think that can be trickier with the writing etc..
He simply doesnt seem to be interested in sitting down and trying to write words,he loves his cars and plays with them all day every day and I feel guilty if i try and force him to sit and draw/write etc after what is a very tiring day at school. sad

edam Sat 17-Nov-12 23:05:26

Aw, he's only just four, bless him. I wouldn't worry at all, especially as boys are later at developing fine motor skills such as pencil control than girls. I know the teacher is used to teaching tiny children but still, I bet there aren't many September birthdays in this group of 10. Listen to the teacher but try not to panic - and it's a good thing if they are giving him extra support in a smaller group. NOT because he's behind, I'd bet he's actually doing fine for his age, but because if you have to be in a classroom aged just four and expected to concentrate and draw nicely you may need a bit more help than someone who was four a year ago.

Btw, my ds is a July birthday - only two children in his class in reception were younger than him. He's doing very well indeed at school - is now in Year 5 - so equally don't listen to all the people who tell you being the youngest in reception is a handicap throughout primary school, it isn't.

edam Sat 17-Nov-12 23:06:23

(Sorry, should have said on average boys are later than girls at fine motor skills, obviously individuals vary hugely and one particular boy may be a lot more advanced than one particular girl.)

simpson Sat 17-Nov-12 23:12:12

You could be me a few years ago!!

In fact his first patents eve when he was in reception was so bad I went home and cried blush

DS is 31 st Aug and I wanted to do the same thing ( shout he is a baby)...

Nothing clicked with him and he struggled with everything, scissors, writing, reading ( when he started reception he could not even read his name despite being in the nursery attached to the school for the year before) and I remember his reception teacher going on and on about him not being able to draw a perfect circle!!!

All the other kids in his class were getting reading books ( and bragging about it!!) and he finally got his first school reading book in feb of reception and did not have a clue sad

But we kept practising at home and doing lots of colouring in etc to help him with his pencil grip and at Easter time he "finally got it" (I could have had a party!!) and he raced through the reading scheme and overtook kids who had had books from sept...

Fast forward to yr3 (where he is now) and he is doing great, so basically it does not always mean they will struggle because they do this early on in reception.

Fine motor skills can be helped by threading pegs, playing with clothes pegs (pegging them onto card) maybe try and find him some basic books about cars that he might want to try and read and most importantly keep reading to him...

On the concentrating thing maybe play a few games with him like snap and putting a variety of every day things on a tray, letting him look at them and then cover it up and see how many he can remember , but at his age keep it fun!!!

simpson Sat 17-Nov-12 23:13:43

Threading beads blush

Sagelynodding Sat 17-Nov-12 23:27:11

My DS is like this. We are abroad and the usual school starting age is 3 ish. DS is the youngest in the class and started at 2.9. (Not obligatory until 6, but as a wohp, I didn't have much choice) I expected some problems along the way, but it is still unpleasant to realise that your PFB is 'behind'.

2 years on DS1 is still not so great with the reading and writing-his pen control is poor, he struggles with using cutlery properly etc.

I don't insist on too much practice at home, especially as French joined-up handwriting is very different to mine. We do colouring, painting, little craft projects, glueing, stickering, beads, making paper aeroplanes, playdoh etc, and I leave the writing to the school until he gets the basics sorted.

If he is getting extra help in a group, it can only be beneficial to him. Don't worry, he is still really really young smile

happymumof2kids Sun 18-Nov-12 11:16:05

My DS1 was born end of August so yes he went thru similar problems in reception. But you know what by YR2 he has caught up with everyone and is now one of the top kids in his class. It may be a struggle for them to begin with but all kids will eventually even out around age of 7. Do as much as you can to support him and help him and it will work out in the end. Just remember that your DS will always be the youngest in his class so you must do everything you can to support and encourage him. Just having the excuse of he is only a baby or he is very young will only work for reception after that I recommend to not use this as an excuse each Year - otherwise your DS will resign to the fact that he will always be behind everyone else every year! I did exactly as what "simpson" did and it has worked wonders. My DS1 is now a confident little boy and no longer feels like he is the youngest in the class. As a mum you need to do all you can for your DS to build up his confidence.

mrz Sun 18-Nov-12 11:46:55

"under developed fine motor skills/poor pencil control/inability to concentrate for longer periods."

This perfectly describes the eldest boy in my class -Sept 2nd birthday
the school have recognised your son has problems in these areas and are supporting him which can only help.

blueberryboybait Sun 18-Nov-12 11:47:17

My DD is also 30th Aug and has struggled with the whole pencil/fine motor/writing thing. Thankfully our school have been amazing with it. The have organised playdough to be out daily, chunky pencil grips and we sourced some pencils these, which come in right and left handed, and she has her pencil case which she gets out when there is writing or colouring to do. It is very tough on them but we are trying to use the she is only little reason when she is around as she has already noticed that others can do things she can't and I don't want to stop her trying.

blueberryboybait Sun 18-Nov-12 11:48:30

trying not to use the

cafebistro Sun 18-Nov-12 11:52:14

My DS is the youngest in his year (21st August baby) and when he started school he was emotionally immature. However all children develop at different rates and he caught up and is now in year 3 and top of his class academically as well as well adjusted and confident. Don't worry!

Rudolphstolemycarrots Sun 18-Nov-12 12:18:52

Just wanted to say that a lot can happen between 4 and when they start juniors in year 3. He will get to grips with the fine motor skills and his attention span will improve hugely.

AppleCrumples Sun 18-Nov-12 12:40:22

Haven't read all replies will just say from my experience.

My ds2 was like this in reception just wanted to play with cars and run round like a loon and he is a Xmas baby. He just wasn't mature enough yet and sitting and writing etc didn't fit where he was in terms of maturity. His teacher wasn't worried and I think generally it is a boy thing. He is now in top group for everything in yr2 (still a loon though smile )

my dd started in sept and is an aug baby and she has found it harder but I'm not worried. She does have an advantage as her older bros love helping her and are a good example for her.

It sounds like teacher is on top of it which is fab so I really wouldn't worry.

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