Advanced search


(7 Posts)
AbbyR1973 Thu 15-Nov-12 10:11:37

I am looking for advice regarding how to help DS1 with impulsiveness and self-control and strategies that others have tried successfully.

DS1 is approaching 5 years old in Reception and very bright. He is a fair way ahead in reading, writing and maths. School has been going very well indeed and according to teachers he is very polite and well mannered. He is a sociable boy and has friends across all age groups in the small village school he attends- he often talks about playing with much older children at breaktime and lunchtime. He has very good physical skills. He is a very confident boy. He is able to concentrate well and does not flit between activities. He can be fidgety.
So far so good.... BUT he does seem very impulsive to me. School have mentioned that he has no idea of personal space and this has manifested itself with him moving his arms and legs suddenly and accidentally clonking other children, or swinging a toy around and having no awareness that someone is nearby and catching them with it.
So far school have dealt with it by giving him more space on the carpet and in the line and reminding him to be careful. They have been very good about it and said I shouldn't worry and that he is mortified and always says sorry if he hurts someone. They say its all unintentional.
This morning DS1 teacher mentioned that yesterday DS1 grabbed another child around the neck and she had dealt with it. I spoke to DS1 about it and told him it was unacceptable. DS1 was upset and said he " it was an accident,I didn't mean to." What I think he means is that it is something he did suddenly
without thinking. He is not particularly rough with his little brother at home and no worries at nursery. He does often however do things very suddenly without thinking about it.

I am mortified if DS1 hurts another child even unintentionally. The child also can't differentiate and will be interpreted to their parents as "X hurt me." Many children at the school have parents who work in the same organisation as me and I hold a responsible and senior position within that organisation.

I really need to know how I can help DS1 with self control and getting an awareness of personal space and what is around him. School aren't worried but I am.
Sorry long post.

stopthecavalry Thu 15-Nov-12 12:51:37

not much help but have had similar problems with v bright ds who is now in yr 2. impulsive and seems to have a real lack of understanding about personal space and how another child might not like you to swing that toy so close to their face etc. not sure what is behind it but he is v curious and possibly has hypersensitivities and in pursuit of his goals can't seem to always get how his actions might affect others. we have been told he has no asd but i feel he has less of an ability to put himself in other's shoes than he should. slight improvement with age. sorry not much help but you are not alone.

stopthecavalry Thu 15-Nov-12 12:54:58

sorry meant overexcitabilities rather than hypersensitivities

midseasonsale Thu 15-Nov-12 19:11:39

I know this isn't much help but things will calm down in a year or so,

askhfgaslkgsj Sat 17-Nov-12 11:53:50

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

AbbyR1973 Sat 17-Nov-12 22:12:05

Excellent, thanks. Will go and google executive memory programmes now.

Thanks for the reassuring comments that he'll grow out of it. I just don't want all the children to think he's mean and all the patents to think he's naughty before he does.

askhfgaslkgsj Sun 18-Nov-12 18:30:11

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: