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Very tired child in reception

(33 Posts)
Morebiscuitsplease Mon 12-Nov-12 20:18:22

DD2 has recently gone full time and is hanging. We have lots of tears and tantrums which is not typical. Last week she didn't even want to go to school. I of course jollied her along. While she appears to be coping well at school I feel that an afternoon at home mid week might help her catch her breath as such. I requested this at school as i thought there was a bit of flexibilty in Reception, she does not legally need to be in school until the summer term. Here class teacher has to run it pass the head who has refused to authorise her absence. She was very unsympathetic. Her comments I found very unhelpful, well all children are the same they are all tired..no not all children are the same. Also i do not feel it is in my daughter's interest to be so tired that her behaviour at home is suffering. This cannot be good for her. angry

crazygracieuk Mon 12-Nov-12 21:01:57

Just keep her off on days she's tired. (Full day)
My sons had many Fridays off as duvet days as they found it hard to cope too.

Morebiscuitsplease Mon 12-Nov-12 21:21:15

Unfortunately I work Fridays so it is a bit tricky. Relieved to hear I am not the only one.

Gigondas Mon 12-Nov-12 21:23:49

Another one here with child being sent half mad by tiredness - duvet day sounds a good idea if this continues .

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 12-Nov-12 21:26:01

What time does she go to bed?

marquesas Mon 12-Nov-12 21:30:03

Depending on how much of a fuss you want to make you could ask the head/governors if they have any kind of policy for this situation and maybe, if its an option, speak to other local primaries to find out how they manage this. You could use this info to start a further discussion and the head might become more amenable if she thinks you're looking at moving schools

I might be wrong but I think that whilst a child doesn't need to be at school until 5 if you take a school place they have to attend (I'm sure I've read that on MN and it makes sense)

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy Mon 12-Nov-12 21:34:15

Call her in sick once in a while. She won't miss out especially in reception as so much of the day is IMO spent on crowd control and in half a day with you gently reading doing puzzles talking and counting will be just as valuable.

Morebiscuitsplease Mon 12-Nov-12 21:38:07

Thanks Mummies....she is in bed early usually by 7pm, sometimes too wired to sleep..over tired. Felt Head was more concerned about school stats than an individual child's welfare.

crazygracieuk Mon 12-Nov-12 21:40:40

Go for Monday, Thursday or any day that you think she needs it.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 12-Nov-12 21:43:08

It is unfortunate that you feel like this. I would have a quiet hour after school, maybe stories or an audio book, colouring, something like that.

Give her dinner and then start her bedtime half an hour earlier so that bedtime becomes 6.30 for a while instead of 7.

One of my friends ended up doing bed at 6pm until Christmas in reception as her little girl was just too tired if bedtime was any later.

simpson Mon 12-Nov-12 21:46:06

When DS was in reception there were some nights he was in bed by 6.15.

It took him about a term to adjust....

Tgger Mon 12-Nov-12 21:46:15

I would keep her off. My DD is nursery, but turning 4 soon. She does 3 full days in nursery (at the school). By Wednesday she is knackered and luckily we have a day at home then. So, although it's not protocol I would just take the odd day off to suit you mid week. I think Heads forget how little Reception children are sometimes, they just get bundled in with everyone else. 4 is very different from 5 which is very different from 6 IMO.

cakesaregood Mon 12-Nov-12 21:51:49

It does get better! Hang on in there!

We normally have complete meltdown by week 3. This year it was week 6 (Year 3)!

Keep smiling, and feel reassured that if school want her in all the time, she is obviously behaving beautifully there. And saving the special treatment for her loving mummy smile !!

Tgger Mon 12-Nov-12 21:53:35

This time of year is worst for everyone. I'd quite like to hide in my duvet, wouldn't you smile.

Morebiscuitsplease Mon 12-Nov-12 21:58:24

Tgger totally..it was grim. Day started badly as went flying 2 mins out of door to school ..hysterics... Melt down before tea and mum had run in with the head.wine

beakysmum Mon 12-Nov-12 21:58:58

I had exactly the same problem with my DD (second child) last year. First child had been fine, so just shows how different each child can be.

I was incredibly lucky that my school agreed to "flexi schooling" her for a couple of terms. Basically I agreed to do some worksheets with her that her class would be doing on her day off and the school marked the register as "being educated elsewhere" or similar, which I think is usually used if the child is off site on a class trip. Anyway, it was brilliant, really helped and took the pressure off me and DD too. She became much calmer and happier all round, I hadn't realised how much it got her down too.

I did it on a Weds as I didn't work that day and it broke the week up for DD

Unfortunately I think the openess to flexi sschooling varies a lot from education authority to authority (higher level than head teacher).

Chunkamatic Mon 12-Nov-12 22:02:05

My DS is similar, he's always suffered with tiredness and would sometimes still have a nap before starting reception (he's 4.8).
The teachers all seem to think it is no problem that half the kids are falling asleep in the afternoons by the end of the week, I don't see it as a healthy sign.
What's worse is that afternoons and even weekends feel like they are overshadowed by his tiredness right now, so the little time we do have is marred by the fact I'm worried he'll be too tired at school.
I know he will get used to it but it does feel counter-intuitive to me, too.

Morebiscuitsplease Mon 12-Nov-12 22:06:02

Chunkamatic..with you all the way..can't see how this can be good for them. sad(

Tgger Mon 12-Nov-12 22:08:50

DD always falls over when she is tired, it's a tell tale sign. Her knees are covered in bruises! And then the attitude...they go from sensible/lovely 4 year old to more like a 2 year old (well DD does!).

Morebiscuitsplease Mon 12-Nov-12 22:11:01

Tigger you got it one. She is normally so reasonable but is now quite unreasonable. Poor thing.

DewDr0p Mon 12-Nov-12 22:11:08

Ds1 was v similar but suddenly halfway through this Christmas half term he suddenly was OK again. Hang on in there! I brought bedtime forward, kept things quiet after school and went for low key weekends where possible too.

hellymelly Mon 12-Nov-12 22:13:11

Same problem with my dd last year. She is coping better this year. Head refused part time, so I kept her at home when she was genuinely too tired to cope. She was having a lot of night terrors and soldiering on made them worse, she was permanently overtired. Having a day off to recover from a broken night made a difference, lots of parents do the same ime, if your child is not in a fit state to cope they need a day at home.

Beamur Mon 12-Nov-12 22:15:43

My DD was not full time in Reception until after she turned 5.
This first term is really hard on the kids - it will get much easier after the Christmas hols, although if they are tired now, the run up to the end of term will have you all on your knees!
If school won't authorise a regular afternoon off, use your own judgement and simply keep them off for a day and ring in and tell the school that your child is unwell.

expansivegirth Mon 12-Nov-12 22:19:19

before your child is five her absence will make absolutely no difference to the school absence statistics. you can't be fined by the LEA either. why make a kid 'cope' when her life could just be made pleasanter/easier? if the school is going to be arsey about it, then just take days off when necessary. even if that means once a week....

damnitdamnit Mon 12-Nov-12 22:21:16

Dd was/is like that too. I brought bed time forward to 6.30 (sometimes earlier), gave her 1/2 hour telly time when she came in from school and other less active things to do. She still does this in year 1 but its not as bad now.

I have read more about flexi schooling recently though and wish I had found out more as may have tried this last year.

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