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Premature birth and delaying school start

(105 Posts)
hawthers Fri 09-Nov-12 14:44:25

My DS1 was born at the end of August but should have been born in late October. He spent quite a long time in the NICU and has had extensive follow up by his consultant and a developmental specialist. Amazingly he is fine health wise although small for his age. He does not have any major developmental delay aside from the overall general delay if that makes sense.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone has any experience of delaying primary school entry for their child? I'm gathering there is not a whole lot of guidance on how to do it and it is very much at the discretion of individual headteachers but many of them are not keen to step outside the standard procedure.

My DS1 does not appear to have any SEN but i guess it may be too early to tell right now (he is 3). It is clear though that he is just younger than all the other kids in his preschool and it seems barmy to push him along in the wrong school year where he will always struggle. His consultant and the developmental specialist have both said that they will support a delayed entry.

Would be really grateful to hear any experiences.

PropositionJoe Thu 15-Nov-12 14:58:53

The problem is, however much advice you get now about how to do it, you are very likely to come unstuck in year 6, which may well be worse than dealing with the "acceleration" now. That's why people are talking about whether to do it rather than how to do it, I think. Also, the old hands among us know how much we worried about the start of reception and how it wasn't actually that big a deal. You may be understandably over anxious given the difficulties you have had and your feeling of guilt - but he isn't that baby any more.

hawthers Thu 15-Nov-12 16:24:31

It does seem to be the issue that year 6 is a problem for most people and si we've agreed with our current school that he will fi into reception in Sept unless we all have major concerns about how he will cope in the summer. At the end of reception we'll review again and decide whether he is ready to go to year 1 or needs to redo reception.

He is in a private primary currently just so that we could chose the year more easily than the state system allows and they appear to he more flexible at finding a solution that works for DS1 rather than blindly putting him into the upper year.

The issue is complicated as we intend to move at some point in the next 4 years but we're not too sure where to. So we can't really get any assurances from any other schools.

But yes totally agree Michael Gove = tosser

awhistlingwoman Thu 15-Nov-12 22:52:24

Yes my daughter isn't that baby anymore either.

She is still, however, an untoilet trained, incomprehensible four year old. And I lay those both at the door of her premature birth.

But hey, it's actually not that big of a deal that her teacher doesn't understand a word she says or that she still has to wear nappies confused

Year 2 is looking to be the problem for us as the headteacher at our (long awaited meeting) thinks that she won't make that transition without questioning so we're looking at either attempting to obtain a statement or repeating Year R.

I told she wasn't ready. What a game played slowly ;)

BTW - if you are in Hampshire I'm hoping to get the situation clarified with the LEA shortly. . . long story but although my daughter isn't eligible for delay or deferral, I am going to pursue this so that I can post the results to interested parties.

Dozer Thu 15-Nov-12 23:24:36

Good luck whistlingwoman. It is unacceptable that schools and local authorities won't be flexible - or even civil, how rude of the head to not meet and seek to fob you off for so long -in these kinds of circumstances.

Some amazing, difficult stories on this thread.

Dozer Thu 15-Nov-12 23:28:11

Hawthers, a dilemma re private school could be that should you need to return to the state system for any reason, the local authority may well make your DS skip a year to go back into the "correct" year.

Are there any all-through or primary academy schools in the area? They are their own admissions authority and local authorities can't tell them what to do.

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