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Parent's evening DD (7) lazy and chats all the time - any help please??

(10 Posts)
gofaster Wed 07-Nov-12 21:42:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gumby Wed 07-Nov-12 21:44:03

It's up to the teacher surely to have discipline systems in place for this?
Rewards etc

Seems crap to be laying it all on your door

gofaster Wed 07-Nov-12 21:55:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

learnandsay Wed 07-Nov-12 22:10:00

Sounds like a motivation issue to me.

My daughter leaps between jumping on my back and trying to ride me like a camel and listing all the words that we know containing the letters "igh" . The problem isn't that she does these things but that she does them at the appropriate time. Control in the classroom is the teacher's job not yours. The teacher needs to know when to direct both the class and individual children to focus on their work.

If your problem was mine I'd set the teacher some homework: Must get individual pupils to focus in class.

gofaster Wed 07-Nov-12 22:12:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slipslider Thu 08-Nov-12 06:39:38

It is a joint problem not one to be lain at either door and the reason a lot of problems exist in school is because one party lets another deal with it. You both have to work together to do this. Both are usually linked...she is more interested in chatting than working so if she is not chatting she will be more focused on her work. Does your child interrupt you when you are talking? Does she have the opportunity to talk all the time or have to visit places she knows she has to be quiet and listen (library, church etc)? Is she aware of appropriate times to talk and not talk?
Maybe begin with ideas such as she is not allowed to talk to you as a mother when (for example) the news in on tv. Discuss how this is an important time for you and you need not to be interrupted. Praise her for her staying power during this time but do not engage in any conversation even if she begins one with you! Start to take her places she needs to stay quiet in or giving her tasks like craft, sewing, drawing, colouring etc which requires extended concentration spans to complete. Allow her breaks to begin with but then make these less frequent until she learns to complete a task to the end. Join in the task together but make sure you only talk about your task and not about things such as holidays, parties etc and she will develop an awareness about appropriate things to talk about if she has that chance in class.
Good luck but work together as it will not help her much if only one party works to support her.

crazygracieuk Thu 08-Nov-12 08:16:46

Agree with the others.

My dd's teacher told me that my dd was a chatterbox so I replied with "What are you doing about it?"
She was not the only one who did it or the worst so I left it to the teacher to sort out.

Dd learned that if she wanted to sit with her friends or have them as a talking partner etc that she had to comply with the teacher's reasonable request that general chatting was saved for the playground.

Elibean Thu 08-Nov-12 11:23:45

Agree re teacher's responsibility to deal with in class.

But I think I would try and find strategies to help dd as well - which is pretty much what you're asking for, I think? My 8 yr old dd is fairly similar, though more of a fidget than a chatterbox, and she has a very strict teacher this year who jumps on them for any chat or fiddling!

I would be careful not to make her feel bad about chatting per se, if she's sensitive, but at the same time ask her what might help. And suggest trying some tactics she can use when she feels the urge to chat - and practice them at home. Things like, oh I don't know...count backwards from ten, think about a calm still pool, then get back to the task in hand; give yourself a mental star for every time you manage NOT to start chatting, but focus instead, and then tell Mummy how many you managed at the end of each school day??? Am brainstorming here, but not brilliantly as I don't know your dd...

For my dd, who fiddles with things when bored/nervous/stressed, we talked about strategies that might help and she chose to repeat the famous Serenity Prayer (we're not religious, but I like that one!) whenever her teacher was stressy and shouty, in order to not start fiddling. She also came up with breathing slowly and deeply (like the mad blonde girl in High School Musical, but less obviously!) to re-focus.

I think your idea of of practicing at home, if she agrees to it, is excellent - she might feel really supported by that, and it gives a little bit of the responsibility to her in a way she can manage. Rather than 'stop being so chatty' which probably seems impossible to her smile

PropositionJoe Thu 08-Nov-12 11:30:46

You need to practise at home so that she is used to being quiet. Don't let her interrupt you if you are talking, if she tries to chat while you are doing something then shush her and get her to wait, initially just for a few seconds and then for a minute or two. Get her used to doing jigsaws or reading without talking. Basically, try to cultivate the habit of thinking before she speaks rather than it all rushing out in a constant torrent of inanity I remember this stage well

gofaster Thu 08-Nov-12 12:24:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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