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Younger children not allowed at school events...?

(44 Posts)
Wigeon Wed 07-Nov-12 14:28:03

My DD1 has just started Reception, so I am new to this school malarky.

There have been two letters home recently which say that younger siblings are not allowed at two events: the Reception Christmas assemblies (held at 9:05am on a weekday), which are essentially their nativity play, and a "reading and writing session", also being held at 9:05am on a weekday.

No creche is being provided.

Is this usual? What do other primary schools do?

Anyone I might ask to look after DD2 is either going to be at work, or is probably going to be attending these events themselves. And our families live an hour away, so it's not at all straightforward to find someone to have her.

Floralnomad Wed 07-Nov-12 14:31:07

That was the case where mine went to school and TBH it's a good thing as some people just let their smaller ones cry / scream / run about through the whole thing and ruin it for everyone else .

Seeline Wed 07-Nov-12 14:33:22

Fairly normal at ours too. It's not fair on 4/5 year olds trying to remember what they have to do with someones baby brother or sister screaming its head off, or someones toddler running amongst them (which does happen).
Also it can be a space thing - school halls aren't very big and by the time you've got all the parents in there isn't much space for buggies as well.

EldonAve Wed 07-Nov-12 14:36:23

Normal at ours but the PTA now runs a creche

EdithWeston Wed 07-Nov-12 14:36:35

It only takes one small audience member's few seconds of disruption to completely throw a nervous reception performer who has been building up to Her Line for several weeks. Seeing a child on stage dissolve for that reason, even when it's not your DC, is heartbreaking.

So yes, a blanket ban (which is the only enforceable type) is the right thing from pov of the performers, and it is their special time, isn't it? For taking audience members out just prolongs th disruption and the damage has already been done.

marquesas Wed 07-Nov-12 14:38:41

Yes, normal here and I totally agree with it, one of my DCs Christmas shows was totally spolit by a dad who ignored the instruction and allowed his younger daughter to make a noice throughout the whole thing.

This was a few years ago now but I can't still remember the annoyance of not being able to hear the play.

ImaginateMum Wed 07-Nov-12 14:42:16

Normal, sorry! You will get used to swapping with friends and so on.

Do you know anyone in Year One? Maybe you can have their baby for their events and they can have yours for yours, etc. Meet them at the school gate, they head to a cafe / walk around with the buggy till the event is over, etc.

You should see how busy our local library is on parent teacher afternoons, with all the parents swapping kids back and forth to attend their appointments.

Elibean Wed 07-Nov-12 14:45:11

Our school invites parents with small siblings to come to the Nativity dress rehearsal......but there are always a few at the main event (which is no different to the rehearsal!) and no one ever complains. Its a community school, very family-minded.

fanoftheinvisibleman Wed 07-Nov-12 14:49:05

Same type of letter goes out with our concert tickets every year too.

seeker Wed 07-Nov-12 14:50:01

Talk to the PTA- see if they'll run a creche. We alwqys did.

And being community and family minded is fine. Letting toddlers spoil the event for the children performing is not.

StarsGhostTail Wed 07-Nov-12 14:54:18

Our hall is too small, so they tended to say little siblings and grandparents at the dress rehearsal if at all possible.

They moan they make a noise during assemblies, but they let them come.

Personally I'd have probably taken DD2 regardless of what we were told because I have no child care and I'm a very bollshy sod.

socharlotte Wed 07-Nov-12 14:57:57

I wish our school did this!

Procrastinating Wed 07-Nov-12 15:00:52

Not normal here. I would not be able to attend anything if it was.

merrymonsters Wed 07-Nov-12 15:13:45

I hate this family unfriendly attitude towards smaller children that some headteachers have. A lot of reception children have younger siblings. It should be a family occasion. It's not a funeral or a classical music concert.

My current school is family friendly, but a previous school made me leave my DS2 (who had never been left with anyone but grandparents before) with a bunch of Year 6 girls and other parents so that I could see DS1's assembly. That headteacher was a miserable git.

LovesGSD Wed 07-Nov-12 15:14:00

Our school tried that one year, don't think it went down very well with the parents so didn't continue. Our school does have a rule tho that you can't purchase more than 2 tickets for Xmas concerts etc.

DeWe Wed 07-Nov-12 15:18:06

Ours allows younger siblings to a "family performance" otherwise known as the dress rehearsal, the day before the main performance.

They tried doing a creche but the parents who used got somewhat obnoxious about it-saw it as their right, even if they hadn't booked in and it was full and other hassles, so it got dropped as they couldn't find volunteers.

spiderlight Wed 07-Nov-12 15:29:10

Our school invariably has little ones pottering about at reading club and at assemblies, concerts etc. One little brother climbed onto the stage during a Y1 assembly last week. It is a bit disruptive but the teachers welcome younger siblings at these things and are brilliant at swooping in with distractions. The only people I've ever seen grumbling about this have been mums who've tried to use little ones as an excuse to get out of reading club!

GrimAndHumourless Wed 07-Nov-12 15:33:59

Where was the friffing parent or carer if the teacher had to swoop in to remove the toddler from the stage, spiderlight?

slartybartfast Wed 07-Nov-12 15:35:28

shame they dont do an evening event so childchare might be easier. but it is a good idea, much as we love toddlers/babies, they can be noisy at such events. which noone likes

EmpressOfTheSevenOceans Wed 07-Nov-12 15:43:35

Having small siblings at the dress rehearsal is a good compromise. It's really unfair on the performers if small ones are making a racket.

Although at several of DD's shows it's been noisy parents who've been the real problem angry

seeker Wed 07-Nov-12 15:45:38

My friend's was doing a dance in her year 1 show, qnd somebody's toddler climbed onto the stage. Parents did nothing, many in the audience laughed, child completely lost her place and cried. That's why little ones shouldn't be at performances. It may not be a funeral or a classical music concert (although it might well be actuqlly!)but it's incredibly important to the performers.

InherentlyCantankerous Wed 07-Nov-12 16:47:46

Our school invites under 5s to all school related events.

A lot of parents were missing shows/assembly's/family learning sessions through lack of childcare and I've seen more crying and upset children because their parents weren't there to watch them than any disturbances from younger siblings.

Beanbagz Wed 07-Nov-12 17:00:14

Normal at ours though a creche is sometimes provided and the school are generally quite flexible.

Having said that my DD's very last Nativity was ruined for me by being sat next to a mum and her twins who were out of control angry

radicalsubstitution Wed 07-Nov-12 18:14:17

DS' school has the same policy as Elibean's - younger siblings are invited to the dress rehearsal, but are strongly discouraged from attending actual performances.

I would never take DD to one of DS' shows. Whilst he would love to have her there, I just couldn't trust her to sit still or be quiet for long enough. It wouldn't be fair on the other children/parents.

Pancakeflipper Wed 07-Nov-12 18:20:33

We can take our kids in to the concerts. In fact they are very welcome. Never had a issue with anyone's children but the parents tend to come prepared with toys/food etc and sit near the escape route in case of a tantrum.

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