Reception - DS complaining of child hitting & kicking him - WWYD?(11 Posts)
DS1 recently started at Reception. Two weeks ago he came home from school with a note in his bag that he had a bump on the head at lunchtime. The TA rushed over to me at pick-up to tell me that there had been an incident and they would be looking into the following day and could I find out the details from my DS1, apparently the child who pushed him wasn't very forthcoming. I was a little worried, mainly because of the TA's chat with me. I mentioned it to the teacher the following day (she came up to me) and she said that it wasn't anything to worry about and they had all had a chat about how to behave in the playground. And, as he's a small child he is easily knocked over.
Last week, DS1 came home with a mark on his head. He told me that one child held him on the floor whilst another child (the same one from incident 1) kicked him on the floor in the head. I was worried but thought maybe it was "playfighting" (DS1 did mention this word to me).
Today, he has got upset at tea-time (he doesn't update me much about school normally!) and told me that the same child always hits (punches) and kicks him when they're in a line so that he can get past him. He said that he always does it to him but not to anyone else and that he is always naughty to him.
I really am unsure what to do? Would you raise this with his teacher. Also, how should I tell my DS1 to deal with it at the time, he said that he just tells a teacher but should he loudly say "stop kicking or hitting me".
At my DC's school children are encouraged to say "stop, I don't like that" if another child is doing/saying something to them which is hurting or upsetting them.
I would definitely go and speak to the teacher about the situation. Anything which upsets your son, which it clearly is, has to be dealt with. Good luck!
Thanks for the responses, will chat about it to the teacher tomorrow. I was surprised that my DS raised it tonight as he's seemed a lot happier at home (which I think seems to be a good sign of how school is going) this week.
Of course you have to report it, he is being bullied. In fact report every incident as they come up, it's the only way to get on top of the naughty boys behavior. Get your child to walk away or stay 'stop hitting me'. He must report it too.
You need to talk to the teacher. Firstly so they know what appears to have been going on. Secondly to see how much they know about the situation (they may be very aware and on the case to remove this problem) but thirdly for you to establish exactly what your child should be doing if it happens again, so you can reinforce with your child and be seen working with teacher on this, rather than saying something different, which will just cause more confusion to your son.
Speak to the teacher, get it stopped. If it doesn't stop immediately speak to the head and progress it up through the official chain of complaints.
Thanks for the extra comments.
admission - I am wondering if the school are already working on this, at bath time (after my initial post) my DS1 said something along the lines of "he didn't do it today because he now knows that he will get into trouble". Its a lovely school and his teacher and TA seem great so I'm sure that I will get a better idea of whats happening tomorrow.
Teachers may not know about some of these incidents, so if this is a pattern with the same boy, I would definitely let the teacher know that this is a recurring issue and report every single incident from now on and state that DS is getting upset about it and you want teachers to do something to stop it as this is not just a one off.
I told DS in reception to say very loudly 'STOP I DON'T LIKE IT'if anyone did something that he really did not like and he replied that he could not shout as it made too much noise in the large room! I am still working on this though as they need to learn to stop unpleasant behaviour themselves, or at least flag it up by making some noise about it.
For our own DS issues (bullied in reception), it stopped once DH and I met the head of the department together as we were very unhappy about how this had been dealt with despite me raising my concerns with DS teacher. I think 2 parents turning up at school showed how seriously we were taking it and that we expected school to do something about it. It stopped overnight.
I spoke to DS' teacher this morning. She really was very good about it all and noted my concern and talked it all through with me. She hasn't spotted any issues / problems with DS and this child or any other. She said that the boys can be slighty boisterous and my DS does join in. She did say that she will now keep an eye out for it, she said with 30 children things can go unnoticed. She finished telling me that he should always tell an adult immediately and that I should speak to her at any time I have any worries.
planestrains hope your DS is ok. I had the same issue a few weeks ago and the teacher is keeping an eye on things, although the boy in question just seems to be horrid in turn to everyone. It isn't completely his fault as I discovered in the last two weeks his father keeps saying 'dont be a baby' and it's 'part of being a boy' to hit other children and be rough. . Other boys are being babies if they don't like it, apparently.
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