Feeling quite dissatisfied by meeting with teacher(8 Posts)
DD is 7 and a composit class P4/3 (she's p3). Since she started in P4/3, she has protested long and loud about how much she hates school, doesn't want to go etc. I've brushed over this, explaining as best I can that she has to go, and to try and think about things differently etc. (falls on deaf ears mostly). I aks he each day how was school and usually get positive feed back i.e. great/fine/brilliant etc. She rarely tells me about anything bad/negative, but some time down the line she will mention something that has troubled her, and again we talk through what happened and I try to get her to change her POV about it, to feel better about it. She's very resistent to this.
Anyway, Parent's night was a few weeks ago, it was very rushed, I didn't feel I had the chance to really talk to the teacher (could barely get a word in edgeways) and the feedback suggested that far from school being fine/great/brilliant, she was seemingly not doing as well as I'd hoped. Not a bad thing in itself, but in te context of home etc. it wasn't painting a happy picture for my DD. I asked to see the teacher again, to try and talk to her about my concerns to see if there was a real concern that needs to be addressed, or whether she was doing OK academically (which she's always been OK with, does well etc).
I was given a 15 min slot before 9am this morning, and tbh, I still feel as though I'm no further forward getting to the bottom of what is making my DD so unhappy. Again, the teacher talked a lot, I couldn't really get much across to her as she went off on long explanations as to what she is doing with the class, with a tiny comment on DD in between. It felt more like she was trying to justify herself than really try and help me get to the bottom of what is going on. My DD isn't happy and I'm worried that if whatever it is that's bothering her isn't identified and addressed, she'll stay in a negative frame of mind with regard to school and I really don't want that for her. The teacher did mention DD was upset yesterday, but she gave a completely different version of what happened to what my DD told me. I do get the feeling that she's seen a bit as a whinger so what she says is ignored, and others explanations are given more credence so accepted as fact, while whatever is upsetting DD is ignored/not tackled.
Sorry, this is longer than I thought. Any suggestions on what else I can do? I asked the teacher to keep me posted on how DD is at school but tbh, I don't think she sees my DD's upset as being something to be concerned about. She did mention that she 'slips under the radar' a bit as she's not as vocal as others who seem to need more help/guidance, and she doesn't realise she's struggling until everyone else has been helped/prompted i.e. everyone else is finished but DD has lots if unfinished work left which goes against her.
Boooo! Just wanted to bump this for you. Don't have any advice really, but perhaps others do. It sounds like this teacher might be a bad fit. I guess what you can do is carry on supporting your DD, talking to her and try to get out of her (indirectly or letting her talk when suits her) what's bothering her, how the dynamics/relationships in the class work. Hopefully something will come out that you can then address. It all sounds a bit vague at the moment so difficult to improve. I agree you can't just ignore it, but it might be you can only do so much. Is she happy with friends/activities, anything else bothering her?
From my own kids experience I'd suggest the problem isn't directly the teaching/school, but the other kids. Sounds rather like bullying to me, which teachers are reluctant to recognise because of paperwork, difficulty etc. focus on relationships in school, and try and identify who and what. That can help in speaking (calmly!) with teacher.
Is there another teacher who knows DD whom you could ask to see with the class teacher? For example the Principal teacher responsible for infants, or whichever teacher does the non-class contact time cover for the class teacher? Or even a classroom assistant?
Someone else may have a different view of DD, and is likely to be less defensive than the teacher. Also the presence of another person may stop the class teacher doing all the talking!
If you get no joy there, go to the Headteacher. You need to get to the bottom of this. Bugger the teacher's defensiveness: if your wee girl's unhappy in P3, which is a lovely stage, the school needs to help you to sort it.
I am sorry that your DD is not having a good time at school. My DD was in a spilt year group for yr2/3 she was yr 2. She found it difficult, her friends were in a different class and different playground. We used to have lots of evening chats where she would air her troubles or just have a moan. She did start to get better as the term progressed.
Could it be just teething problems of being in mixed ability class and finding her feet.
I too had lots and lots of chats with the teacher but also with the TA as I felt they saw more of my DD on a daily bases than the teacher.
Good luck and I hope your DD starts feeling happier at school eventually. As it is my DD loves school now.
You could take a bullet-pointed list with the specific issues you want to discuss, give the teacher a copy and work through it together. That way she has to stay focused on what you are asking, and respond to each point appropriately. If you emailed it in advance, saying that you are still not clear on what is happening and how your concerns are being addressed, she'd have time to think of appropriate actions.
It would help you be specific too.
Thanks for the replies. I didn't realise I'd had any I'm on my way out so will come back in a bit and read them properly. Thanks.
There isn't necessarily anything huge that is making her sad about school. Or anything she can put into words.
My dd2 was miserable at the start of this year. She's normally drama, everything is brilliant, or terrible. She was just flat ("It's okay" said in a dead tone of voice) for most of this half term.
I asked her if anything was wrong, asked her about what she was doing-nothing picked out wrong. I asked a couple of friends to see if their dc could say anything, and nothing was pulled up there.
Then she made a new friend and is basically back to her usualy self in a couple of days. They'd mixed the classes up, and I think she was just struggling to find her feet in a new class.
So it was a friend issue (as far as I can tell) but she wasn't being bullied, or wandering round on her own, or anything that was noticable.
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