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Dominant Year 2 boy - any advice?

(4 Posts)
spudpudding Fri 19-Oct-12 10:04:07

Hi, there is a very dominant boy in my sons year at school - both physically and mentally strong. He tells the other kids what to play and they listen to him, also if he can get one or two to join in will pick on one child verbally and physically. I have been into school when my ds has been the one picked on, but it happens to other children at school as well. DS has emotional response and gets upset at nasty comments but some kids just shrug off, have tried to teach him what to say and do, also told him to play with nice kids who will hopefully become his friends. They are only 6 and believe strong bonds form at 8 or 9? Believe that the school are onto him but just wondered if anyone has any great ideas? help!! Have spoken to other parents away from school gates and think trying to encourage the good kids, having them for tea etc helps but alot of them still go to him to play.

midseasonsale Fri 19-Oct-12 20:51:03

Can you give him some standard phases to say to boy ' No, I don't want to do that' or teach him to walk away from boy and find someone nice to play with.

xing Sun 21-Oct-12 22:12:57

DS used to be in this situation and came home cried in reception year. But I think such boy mentioned will always be a "leader" in his way. So I try to let DS see the good side of that boy. I praised him to be funny, strong and brave and encouraged DS to play with him. Two years on apparently they are still "best friends" of each other.

He never tackled DS any more. In their break-time play, he is still the "king" , DS is the first servant in charge of all the shopping as he has the "biggest brain", other children are cooks, dogs and etc..

I think at this age, they are all nice.

Saracen Mon 22-Oct-12 03:36:44

Hmm, no suggestions in how to deal with it yourself but if you are in the position to make suggestions to the school then I would say mixing this lad in with a range of ages would be helpful.

He may feel less need to prove himself if he's with younger children. Some kids only feel the need to prove dominance among those of the same age. When with little children where it's clear that he is more powerful than they are, he may get into the habit of nurturing them. There is some evidence that exposing such a child to at least one child who is four or more years younger than he is on a regular basis causes him to develop a gentler approach and that this kinder behaviour carries over into relationships with children of his own age.

And older children may provide him with good role models. Again he may feel less need to prove himself when he's with them. If he does try, they will soon set him straight and let him know not only that he can't succeed in behaving that way with them, but also that it is not the done thing.

Does the school have any regular times when children of different ages learn or play together?

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