Advanced search

4 year old daughter unsettled at school

(8 Posts)
Didi75 Thu 18-Oct-12 21:05:48

Can anyone help or advise, I have not been through this before!
My daughter (who turned 4 in August) started school in September. Initially, she was quite part time and has only gone full time in the past few weeks. Since that time, her behaviour has been quite naughty, she is extremely tired, wakes up every night having had a bad dream or something is hurting and is generally 'unsettled'.

I have got into the habit of not asking her too much about her day, and at bedtime will ask her about a good/not so good thing that happened at school and she responds really well to this - this works better than asking her directly about her day and I get a little snippet of what she gets up to in the day.

I am single, part time working mother and feel incredibly guilty that I am not there to collect her every day.

Of course, I am sure all of this is normal, and as she is one of the youngest in her class I feel it is probably affecting her more than the other children. And its all new, the expectations are higher and she is taking in a lot of new information. At parents evening, her Dad and I were informed she was doing well, there were no concerns, and they are encouraging her to gain confidence in making new friends.

Can anyone share similar experiences about their children starting school?

Many thanks.

Lilyloo Thu 18-Oct-12 21:14:41

Is the behaviour an issue at school or just home?

BlueSkySinking Thu 18-Oct-12 22:12:39

Mine is waking too - his brain is very busy. At the same time he is utterly exhausted beyond words and his behavior isn't the best at home. Of course he is an angel at school though! We went though this identical stage when my eldest started and they do grow out of it when they feel more settled. In the mean time can you offer rewards for staying in his bed if he can? Or can he just sleep with you all night so that he feels more secure if you feel that is why he is waking.

Didi75 Fri 19-Oct-12 09:37:39

Lily loo it's just home

Didi75 Fri 19-Oct-12 09:38:22

Am hoping she will grow out of it! Roll on half term.

LittleAbruzzenBear Fri 19-Oct-12 09:40:32

DS1 was 4 at the end of July and he is acting in this way too. Hopefully they will settle and grow out of it.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe Fri 19-Oct-12 09:44:06

It's a huge change for a 4 year old and we went through something similar with ds1.

Maybe ask about her favourite thing of the school day and talk about school before bedtime. She won't go to sleep with it in her mind then.

It's completely normal and not unheard of so please don't feel guilty in any way. Ds1 used to wake up in the bight insisting his foot was really sore, though he'd happily bounce on it all day every day confused it just takes time for them to settle into their new routine.

I think with ds1 it wasn't until after Christmas he properly settled in.

Keep being supportive, discussing her day and speaking about how she feels about things etc. it will pass.

rrbrigi Fri 19-Oct-12 10:23:55


It is a very good idea to ask your daughter about the good things in school before bedtime, but probably not so good idea to ask her about the bad things in school, because she will think the bad things through and she might have bad dream. It is my opinion only.

Probably you should discuss the good thing only before bed time and find another time for bad things or you should not discuss bad things that frequently. Let her concentrate about the good things in school and probably discuss the bad things at the weekend, once in a week. If you do this you will know what she is really does not like about school, because if she can remember it for a week than it something that you really need to sort out with your daughter or with her teacher.

Concentrating on good things let her think that you are very proud of her, because she is doing very well in the school.

All the best for you.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: