Would you phone the Mum or do anything?(14 Posts)
Hi. On iPhone so bear with me!
Dd came home extremely upset and generally emotionally drained tonight, she is in Yr3 and one of her friends crisps were stolen yesterday! ( I know hardly War and Peace, , but these things matter when you are just 8!)
Another girl, known to be a bit of a bossy boots has accused DD of stealing them, apparently dd had These particular type if crisps in Yr2, so is guilty! Not sure how that one works, but the fact is dd doesn't like these sort, so I know and she has told me anyway, she didn't.
This girl told the class not to play with dd and that she took the crisps, resulting in her pushing and teasing dd and everyone surrounding her DD did let the teacher know and she told this girl off. However dd said that at next play she continued to ostracise DD and tell children in the other classes. I think DD basically had a miserable time.
Dd is so upset, she doesn't want to go in, she is adamant she didn't take them and ironically the girls whose they were isn't concerned and still her friend.
The Accuser is not the nicest of girls, but very controlling and I can imagine she is powerful in the class. Normally I would just leave it, but I can't help but think that accusing someone of stealing with no evidence is pretty horrid and I am tempted to phone her mum and let her know just how upset DD is and has her Dd any proof I have never seen her sob like this before.
Should I leave it? Should I speak to the Mum, or the teacher? It all pretty pathetic really, but I think it is the unfairness of it that gets me.
Tell me if I am being too precious!!!
Don't phone the mum, no no no no!
Speak to the teacher if it's really bothering you or Dd - don't obsess about the crisps, just share your concerns about Dd having had a horrid day due to feeling ostracised.
Agree with notwilliam- speak to teacher in the morning if needs be but I wouldn't talk to the other parent.
Don't call the mum. You'll end up arguing since it's likely that she'll repeat what her daughter has said because she's unlikely to think 'yep - my kid is making this all up'.
Talk to the teacher about exclusion tho'
I'd speak to the teacher. Accusations of lying or cheating are really bad (even politicians get sent out of the room for that!) And the teacher needs to tackle this - and be aware of Miss Bossy Britches behaviour.
How's your DD now?
Talk to the teacher. Calling the mum would be a big mistake.
Thanks, will speak to the teacher in the morning.
DD is fine now, although came downstairs twice tonight saying she 'felt funny' and couldn't sleep. She couldn't describe why she felt funny, just that it was a strange feeling! I stayed with her until she dropped off at half past 9!!!
I think the teachers know this girl from old, there was an incident in the past where she was picking on one of the others in Year 1, although the school were quick to act.
Hope it all goes well and dd is off to school ok this morning.
I agree you should speak to the teacher and stress how upset dd is.
Hope you get it sorted.
Nothing good can come of speaking to the mum. As wheresthebeach said, she's hardly likely to say 'My DD is really quite mean and she lies a lot!' She will just back up her DD and leave you feeling even more cross.
If DD is upset, speak to the teacher but focus on how upset your DD is rather than just the ins and outs of the crisp allegations as it comes across as quite a trivial argument but obviously if the school know it has upset DD this badly, they will sort it out.
Well dd went in OK, if a bit reluctantly this morning. I think it helps it is the end of term.
I had a word with the teacher and explained how upset dd was and she said she knew all about the incident and had in fact had a word with the girl concerned (she didn't name her), she had also spoke to the whole class about accusing people without any facts etc. etc.
She said she certainly wasn't happy about the situation and that she was cross that this had all happened and would be keeping an eye on things. She didn't know that everything had continued at the next break and said that dd should have gone to get an adult. dd was present during the conversation and said there wasn't anyone there and she felt it would be telling tales!!
By tomorrow it will all be forgotten, but I told dd to stand up to
Miss Bossy Boots this other girl and we went over some things she should say, then dd said 'but she might get really cross with me and tell me off'!! It would appear that everyone takes this girls word as written, so I had to explain that this girl, however grown up and bossy, is just the same as dd, not a teacher, not in charge, or able to tell others what to do!
Thanks for calming me down yesterday, I am glad I didn't ring the Mum!!
No, Talk to the teacher. Explain how she has been wrongly accused and how badly this girl has bullied her.
You could always mention it to the mother in passing if you are on good terms and think she would act.
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