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Problems with hitting and reception ds, help!

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roadkillbunny Tue 16-Oct-12 13:46:07

Had the start of the day nobody wants this morning when while dropping children off at school I got pulled aside by ds's teacher to ask me if I could come in after school on Thursday for a chat about ds's needs around his speech issues because they have been having problems at play times when out in the whole school playground, she went on to tell me he wouldn't be allowed out there to play today as on Friday and yesterday there were instances of violence. He will have a chance to run around and blow off. Steem in the reception play area but then have to come in rather then have the whole break with all the other children.

I wish they had told me sooner so I could have spoken with and given sanctions to ds at home but I understand that on Friday they hoped it had been delt with and yesterday the teacher was unable to be around at home time. The school are exerlent and deal with issues really well and effectively but that now feel they need more input from me due to ds's needs.

From the start of this paragraph I want to make it completely clear that I fully support the school, I agree with the sanction (because its not just punishment it also removes him from the situation causing the issues) and I also know and understand that violent behaviour (I think it is hitting and pushing but was only able to talk with the teacher very quickly this morning) is completely unacceptable and ds's behaviour is effecting other children and can not be condoned or excused.
However now I need to explain why we are having these problems. Ds has very delayed speech, he currently has the speech of an 2.5 to 3 year old and he is 4.5 years old, what he can say is extremely hard to understand, he gas no anunsiation and misses out the first and last sounds in most words. He had bi lateral glue ear from the age of 2 -3 that unfortunately wasn't picked up on until he had already started so self resolve. His comprehension is exerlent, his understanding of how language works is beyond his age expectation. He is a sharp and able boy who can read more then he can say and has a natural feeling for numbers and a love of all thing computer, he coded his first bit of lynix when he was 2!
He sufferes from a great deal of frustration in regards to his communication, he lashes out when this frustration peaks. His peers found out very quickly that things can be blamed on the child who can explain themselves and that he is easy to wind up while you sit back and watch it all kick off. This is not the other children's fault, they are just children doing what children do, they do not deserve to be hit so ds needs to learn how to manage and direct his frustration and to call in adult help when needed.

I am not 100% sure what to do with this, he is under speech therapy although they want to wait for his speech to mature more before doing any actual therapy, his teacher is now on the case as well pushing for more active involvement and support. I will sit down and talk to him about how to deal with playground problems again, my instincts are saying to pug a sanction in at home like losing his much valued computer time (I think this is one the school could also use to good effect, his computer time is presious to him, he would be on some gadget or other 24 hours a day if you let him) but I am not sure that's appropriate given he has had a punishment at school. I just want to drive it home to him that it matters not what anyone said or did, you do not use violence against another living thang, ever!

Can anyone offer me any ideas of support, having issues like this is so new to me, dd is so different, she had her own speech issues bug she delt with frustration in a very mild manored way, it would be unthinkable to her the very idea if raising a fist. I feel like a first timmer with all this, my expireance with dc is just no use at all other to know the school are doing everything they can to help ds.
Thanks for reading (sorry for errors I am on phone and have disabilities that make typing and seeing a challenge)

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