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DS not as settled in Yr R as I thought

(9 Posts)
Cersei Fri 05-Oct-12 10:38:03

DS has started reception this year and I thought it was going really well until today.

He started off very happy to go, happy at the end of the day, has been going full time for 3 weeks now, goes to breakfast club one morning a week and after school club one afternoon while I'm at work. Hasn't seemed tired in the slightest at the end of the day.

He's had a couple of poo accidents which haven't worried him or the school too much. He has chronic constipation and toiletting issues which the school are fully aware of and have a plan to deal with.

On Tuesday evening he wasn't feeling well and was sick on Wednesday morning so didn't go to school. He wasn't sick yesterday so he's gone back to school today. He got up fine, looking forward to going back to school then at breakfast he just had a meltdown!

Started crying, said he doesn't like school, doesn't like a Mrs B (not sure who she is, not his teacher or TA, poss a lunchtime assistant?), doesn't like it when his teacher goes to lunch, the chairs are uncomfortable, he's too tired and wants to lie down, doesn't like his friends any more, doesn't like the tidy up music and just on and on that he doesn't want to go to school. Refused to eat his breakfast or get dressed.

In the end after trying to reason with him and running out of time I lost my temper sad and got him dressed and told him he has to go to school. He was OK in the car and OK in the playground and went in the classroom, a bit quiet but not crying any more.

Not sure if all this is down to him being a bit washed out after being ill or having enjoyed 2 days cuddled up with Mummy and not wanting it to end or if he really doesn't like school! His constipation is not helping now too as he hasn't eaten well for the last 2 days. I have increased his laxative dose but it's not kicked in yet.

I had a quick word with the teacher to say how upset he'd been this morning and that he's basically said he hates school, everyone in it and everything about it (at least that's how it seemed this morning when I was battling to get him ready!). She said they thought he hadn't been himself on Tuesday but now assume it was because he wasn't feeling well and that he often lies down in the afternoon saying he's tired and won't join in. This is the first I've heard of this! He comes bouncing out of the door at the end of the day and is full of beans!

His bedtime is 7pm, he sleeps well normally. DH is in charge of bedtime and sometimes it is a bit later than 7. On a Monday when my parents do the school run and I pick him up from them at 6 it can be 7.30 before he's in bed. I've no idea what time he goes to bed on a Tuesday either because I'm at work but as his other grandparents normally come over I suspect it's probably later too.

Think I need to insist that it's lights out by 7 in future but does anyone have any other thoughts? I thought it was going so well sad. Sorry, that was longer than I thought it was going to be!

Fuzzymum1 Fri 05-Oct-12 11:52:55

I found the same with my DS3 when he was poorly in reception - he had a couple of days off with a nasty cold/virus and when he was better he all of a sudden didn't want to go back because he 'hated school so much'. He didn't hate school and was fine when he was there.

BarbarianMum Fri 05-Oct-12 11:53:06

Would it help if I said it sounds very normal? As in, it sounds like he is settling well but still finds it rather over-whelming, completely knackering and that combined with illness has all made it seem a bit much to face? My ds2 hates everything when he's tired.

Give it another week or 2 and if you still have concerns maybe arrange a meeting w. the teacher to check how things are.

DeWe Fri 05-Oct-12 13:01:56

I would say it's quite normal for them to have a tired wobble (Fridays are typical, and sometimes Mondays as they have had a couple of days to worry about it) when they realise that this is school and they now go every day.
I suspect a couple of days of cuddling mummy has set it off. He'll probably be fine when he's back into the swing.

Quite a few reception children are tired in the afternoon. I've arrived at school before now to find a couple curled up asleep in reception (cuddling soft toys kept for that grin)

Well done for sending him in though. It's hard when they're a bit under the weather and miserable, but I'm sure he'll be fine once he's there.

Cersei Fri 05-Oct-12 15:54:31

Thanks everyone, knowing it seems normal is a big help!

I've just picked him up and he says he's had a good day, no notes from the teacher which is always good! Not eaten all his lunch and didn't have a snack which is not like him but think that's down to the sickness. Hopefully it was all just a wobble from him being poorly and tired.

We've got parents evening in a few weeks so will be having a chat with the teacher then.

MirandaWest Fri 05-Oct-12 16:12:38

I remember DS being fine at school for the first few weeks and then after about 3 weeks he had a bit of a wobble. Was a bit less enthusiastic for a week or so and then he was fine again

Tgger Fri 05-Oct-12 20:24:58

Yes, sounds absolutely normal. When they have been poorly and/or are tired they can suddenly seem very little again. Hopefully you will have your more rumbustious son back again soon grin. I remember when DS went back after an ear infection last Autumn he often cried when coming out, especially on Fridays! Earlier bed times do help, I think it was 7.00pm latest in YR and often nearer 6.30!

sittinginthesun Fri 05-Oct-12 20:28:25

Yes, normal. DS2 was exhausted by Friday, and was in tears when I picked him up until Easter. Normal to crash out in the afternoons too. They just used to let them rest in the library corner. smile

Cersei Sat 06-Oct-12 18:15:01

Thank you all, he seems a bit more like himself today. Hopefully he'll be OK on Monday too. I feel very reassured now smile

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