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In Shock, Out of blue the Yr1 teacher told me at pick up SENCO is going to check out my DS!

(21 Posts)
PrimalSponsorOfMums Thu 04-Oct-12 19:12:44

Up unitl now, there has been no mention of any issues. My DS is a normal standard little boy. Really shocked! He learnt to read himself, very early before reception. And he is gentle, much more gentle than average for his age and gender.
Was shocked she told me in playground, not even pulled me to one sides really. Coulkd be a good thing if any issue is picked up early, I know that....
but, the only reason she gave is that he can ignore instructions, take asking 2 or 3 times to do something,
BUT he seems typical to me of a 5 1/2 year old? My previous 2 children and all other 5 year olds seem to do this quite a lot !

I was thinking he coould be a little bored, and daydreaming at school not listening maybe cos its too easy for him????
What do you think?
My other kids were learning loads of words at this age and learning so much, think yr 1 was very stimulating for them....
but he did sort of learn to read by himself, on his own ( without me doing anything) so maybe he's switching off a bit in class? ??

Only thing I can think off, cos my friends all say he's well behaved and a 'normal' 5 yr old boy.

sorry this is long but I am really surprised and stressed. Last report and parents evenings all said behviour was godd and learning very good.
please ANYONE give me some advice on this.

What will the SENCO person do? I want to be told more.

PrimalSponsorOfMums Thu 04-Oct-12 19:36:28

please has anyone had this happen to them? I am genuinely shocked what to do or why this is happening.He's not my PFB, and I've got to know hundreds of children since my first baby born ten years ago. My little DS just seems so average, normal, little shy sometimes, but very happy and sonetimes he has his sisters in stitches by pretending to be a bouncy puppy .

If the school had a concern, wouldn't it have showed up long before now? he went to nursery and reception at the same school that he is in now, in Yr 1.
Just have so many questions........

owlelf Thu 04-Oct-12 19:42:30

I've no experience in this type of thing OP. However, common sense tells me that the school should have alerted you to any potential problems way before now. If the problem is isolated to him not following instructions surely asking you to get his hearing tested would have been sensible.

It might be worth you posting on the SN boards, as they will have more experience of what SENCO may do.

admission Thu 04-Oct-12 19:50:11

There is no set time by which a pupil's special needs will become clear, so I don't think the timing has anything to do with this.
Obviously the teacher feels that a second set of eyes looking at how your son is in class would be of benefit and to start with that what I am sure will happen, they will just observe.
When you say that your son takes 2 or 3 times being told before doing something I wonder whether he is being defiant or whether he is not hearing / understanding the instruction and that is probably what the SENCO will be concentrating on.
However there is really one answer for you and that is to go and talk to the teacher and the SENCO, to find out exactly what their concerns are and what they are going to do.
Saying that you should not be worried is somewhat superfluous as you obviously are but I think you do need to get it into context and that is that the SENCO is looking at many children all of whom the teachers in the school have some concerns about. The fact that they are observing your son I would say is a very positive comment about the school and how they operate.

mrz Thu 04-Oct-12 19:50:34

As a SENCO I would suggest you get his hearing checked (from what you have described)

Coconutty Thu 04-Oct-12 19:53:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaseyShraeger Thu 04-Oct-12 20:05:23

I'm surprised they didn't ask you to get his hearing checked before involving SENCO.

septemberpie Thu 04-Oct-12 20:15:58

I had this happen with my DS in Yr 2. It was awful at the time but in hindsight I can see there were some red flags with his learning. He was an excellent reader but his other areas were very behind especially maths. They ran quite a few tests for dyslexia (which I found weird given his reading!) but couldn't find anything. He subsequently got a lot of 1-1 which has helped.

I agree with you that it sounds like he's switching off in class. My DS has always struggled with instructions and listening so it has held him back. It was good to find out from their assessments what type of learner he is in order to help him more with his difficulties.

What I would be annoyed about in your shoes is that school haven't been keeping you informed about their concerns. It seems wrong that they have sprung this on you.

madwomanintheattic Thu 04-Oct-12 20:19:13

Bright kids can have sen too, so him being an early reader and bright doesn't preclude him requiring additional support with other aspects. (I have three gifted kids, two of which also have sn)

Once the senco has observed, ask to meet up with her and the ct, and go through their concerns. He might be bored, sure, or his slightly more placid nature and distractibility could be pointing towards something like ADD (as opposed to the hyperactivity element).

Hearing sounds like an easy win though. D you routinely have to repeat or raise your voice? Might be worth getting it checked, sometimes we just naturally fall into a pattern of dealing with our kids 'so and so is always busy and doesn't hear me) and miss obvious sights that make us kick ourselves in hindsight.

If senco is inconclusive and hearing is checked and fine, then it might be worth considering auditory processing, getting Ed psych assessments done (there is usually an extensive wait in schools, and for full iq testing they do like kids to be a little older if possible) and you can always go private. Developmental paed would be a good place to start if you do get to the point where you think they have valid concerns.

If you think it's just bright and bored, he needs to understand that he needs to pay attention, and you need to discuss differentiation with the school.

Hope the senco observation gives you some clues.

Floralnomad Thu 04-Oct-12 20:22:44

Definitely get his hearing checked first. My DS was found to be 50% deaf aged 6 and we were completely oblivious. He had even started to lip read apparently.

PrimalSponsorOfMums Thu 04-Oct-12 20:26:57

just to say, he's NOT my PFB, he's my DC3 and I really think, as I know him better than anyone else, I would notice if he had any issues? Surely it would be apparant would'nt it ??

CaseyShraeger Thu 04-Oct-12 20:38:41

Mild-moderate hearing loss can often be more apparent at school, where there is more background noise, a range of different speakers, voices that are less familiar, more difficulty in lip-reading, etc. It's amazing how children can adjust and disguise any issues at home.

PrimalSponsorOfMums Thu 04-Oct-12 20:47:08

thank you so much everyone, so many useful tips and experience! wow mumsnetters really know what they are talking about !!

I feel better now, that if CT is concerned that something is being done. I should maybe leave it til Monday then ask for a full update/meeting. I need more detail than 2 grabbed sentances at pick up time.

Of course I realise being an early reader does not rule out other issues. Could be on autism spectrum i suppose like a friends DS, I don't know??
Its just I assumed he was good at concentrating as seems to concentrate on books for ages, longer than my last 2 when they were 5.

I know its not hearing definately -cos his sister had an issue, so he was thoroughly checked just recently by hospital.
He does sometime go into a little dreamworld for a bit- but does seem no more than my other kids when same age.

thank you very much, again.
Am nervous about approaching school about it, but really determined to find out more.

DeWe Thu 04-Oct-12 21:27:37

I didn't realise how much my ds was lip reading until it was pointed out at ENT. (Glue ear) He's my dc#3 too, and I thought his cute little habit of patting me on the cheek to make me turn to him when he wanted me to talk to him was just that.
Strangely it disappeared around the time he had grommets put in and reappeared when they fell out blush. That was when ENT pointed it out.

But he'd done it for so long, it just was something he did.

Then last year again I realised how good he was at lip reading when I mouthed something quite complicated across the room at dh and ds answered me correctly. I then ran a few experiments and found he could lip read almost anything I said, and even guess at words he didn't know. shock

ENT said they're very good at adapting and often parents don't realise.

tinytalker Thu 04-Oct-12 21:52:35

I work in as a SEN teaching assistant and it becomes more apparent in Yr 1 & 2 that a child's 'issues' cannot be explained by immaturity or quirky behaviour. Schools will more often leave a child to 'settle' before taking matters any further. If I were you I would be pleased that the school is monitoring your child's learning so that they are getting the best out of school. We have some very bright children in Yr1 who are quite academically advanced but who are causing us concern due to lack of awareness of instructions/rules, following class routines, friendships, preoccupation with certain topics, over sensitivity to noise etc. Which would prompt us to speak to parents and perhaps suggest a consultation and further assessment.
Please don't panic until you've heard what the school has to say and then take it from there. Don't forget you will both have the common goal of supporting your son to get the most out of school. Teachers are on YOUR side smile

auntevil Thu 04-Oct-12 23:29:58

Agree with madwoman that being bright has nothing to do with needing support for other issues.
DS1 struggles with short term memory/following instructions. He tends to follow everyone else, rather than get up and do what is asked - a bright solution if you struggle with following instruction, not so bright if you are the only one being spoken to grin
I would feel positive that the school seem keen to be involved, and have the interests of your DS in mind. They have suggested no more than another pair of eyes with hopefully more experience. They have a duty to tell you of a SENcos involvement too. Be pleased, many schools don't bother with these courtesies either!

madwomanintheattic Thu 04-Oct-12 23:36:22

Ah, you've fallen into the good concentration v hyperfocus trap. grin ADD kids can have amazing concentration for something that interests them. Ds1 was an early reader and still reads for hours and hours every day. I actually can't get him to put the book down, and he can't hear me at all when he's reading. He has ADD. Or the psych says he does. He could just be gifted and bored. wink (I'm not being snarky, genuinely I have no idea how you tell...!)

Later on, there's an interesting book called 'misdiagnosis and dual diagnosis of gifted kids'. It still doesn't tell you how to decide, but it's interesting from an academic pov... grin

Niceweather Fri 05-Oct-12 06:32:43

This happened to us too. Reception teacher told us that they thought DS was Autistic, Yr 1 teacher told us that they thought he had Aspergers. Several years of worry later, we found out that he was G&T with dyslexia (and a bit eccentric). Even a Ed Psycho thought that he had Aspergers and it took someone higher up the hierarchy of experts to get to the bottom of it all. No harm in getting them to observe. When I look back at the reports on my son, many of the clues were actually there but nobody put them together.... his hand was constantly up in class, he was bored on bottom table and behaving weirdly, he tried to hide his bad spelling. On a separate issue.... Ed Psycho was the most condescending piece of work I have ever met - possibly inflamed to her own failings.

I think sometimes issues can show up more in YR1 as they move from a more freeflowing classroom environment into a more structured approach. Both of my children Yr1 & Yr5 have had IEPs for various issues DS1 is mildly dyslexic and DS2 may also be too. We did get DS2 hearing checked because he had some speech issues (its fine) we also got his eyesight checked and he turned out to be seriously long sighted like DH. Physical issues can affect behaviour in the classroom so its worth getting them ruled out.

Its not a comment on your DSs intelligence or overall abilities that he might need a bit of extra support. The school environment and academic learning requires a very specific skill set that wouldn't be needed if we were still hunter gathers, for example. Some children, my own included, need a bit more support to develop those very specific skills that are needed for school / academic working etc. The earlier the support is given the better because their brains are still developing and can catch up on skills surprisingly well.


We failed to notice DS2 was long sighted until he was 4 despite both DH and I wearing glasses. His prescription is around +7. Because you are around your child all the time you accept things as normal that someone less familiar with your child would notice as more unusual.

ShaynePunim Fri 05-Oct-12 10:56:44

My son joined his school in Y1 (now in Y6) and he was very shy when he joined.

SENCO got involved and he had some 1 to 1 sessions for a term and then they realised that he was fine and he was struck off the SENCO register. :D

But he actually enjoyed it, he got to go and spend an hour building stuff or painting etc and he could pick a friend to go with him, so everyone was happy.

There was definitely no stigma attached to it, and as there was nothing wrong they just sent him on his way.

I have being offered some 1 to 1 tuition now in Y6 and I was initially not pleased about it but I think I'll go for it...everything to gain and nothing to lose, hopefully!

I hope your little boy does well whatever happens. smile

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