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New starter struggling in reception...

(6 Posts)
manchestermummy Thu 04-Oct-12 15:34:37

Not DD1, who is loving every second, but me!!!!

DD1 goes to out of school club three days a week, so I am wondering if that might have something to do with it, but I am really struggling with the whole playground thing. Other mothers, even those whose children have made friends with DD1, seem, aside from two exceptions, to just look through me! I smile, say hello, they avert their eyes and then their darling offspring are led away. I can normally talk to anyone so I am finding this very odd. A number of children went to a pre-school nearby that my DD1 didn't, so there seems to be a bit of a clique. I'm worried that DD1 will find she doesn't get invited to parties etc. as I'm not part of this clique: I had a similar experience myself (oddly enough at the same school!).

I've said I'd like to join the PTA but so far all of the meetings have been on evenings I can't attend, so that's probably out, so is there anything else I can do? Will this get easier as the year progresses and as DD1 makes firmer friendships? I dread the days I take and pick her up!

ThatBintAgain Thu 04-Oct-12 15:41:54

Eurgh, you know what, I was in this situation and it sucks. It still is very cliquey and I'm entering into my third year of it now! I just think, sod it, I have friends, I wouldn't choose to be friends with most of them anyway if there were no kids in this equation. There seem to be some real funny types who will let on to you one day and look through you the next. I have made some friends but just a handful, and most of those are through DS and who he chooses to play with. If people are friendly and want to be friends then great, but if not, sod it! (It has taken a long time to get to this conclusion though - it really bothered me to begin with!)

manchestermummy Thu 04-Oct-12 15:45:32

That's true, I do have other friends! She was at another school for nursery last year which was the complete opposite - I used to love the chats in the morning!

Glad it's not just me, I have been getting slightly concerned I was exuding some sort of "mad woman, don't look at me" vibe! (which I might well do anyway!)

givemeaclue Thu 04-Oct-12 20:15:38

Even if you can't go to the pta meeting could you volunteer to help at an event or with organising? Or help at school, you would get to know the other helpers

dixiechick1975 Thu 04-Oct-12 21:12:03

I'd keep on as you are. Smile, say hello. It's very early days.

There must be non clique people. Grandma or grandads?

I'd go into school when you can for assembly etc ..just attend what you can. Don't stress about not making meetings.

ConfusedMummy1 Thu 04-Oct-12 21:52:08

Oh you sound just like me! My DD's pre school was very friendly with lots of social nights and I knew some of the parents beforehand which helped. Now at the new school I know no one and neither does my DD so we have had to start from scratch. I don't know why it worries me so much about making friends because at the end of the day it's my DD that needs to settle and make friends not me. I have decided not to stress about it and let DD lead the way since I think my worries come from my own insecurities and a sense of wanting to belong.The friendships I made at the previous school were lovely but my DD wasn't really friendly with their DC plus I notice it really fuelled gossip which I didn't like. I'm still in the awkward stage. Just hopes it gets easier.

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