Getting 4 year old to listen...

[BertramBertram]

Posted in chat, but then thought here might be better!

Anybody got any ideas? Yet again I was called over by DS teacher to say that he isn't listening. It's not just that he doesn't listen, he runs off, walks round in circles to show you he isn't listening, puts his hands over his ears and sings la la la... You get the picture!

We are firm with him at home. He has a chart where he gets a star for good behaviour and loses one for poor behaviour. He is currently aiming to get enough stars for a fish tank. We have tried time out, naughty step etc - you name it! He isn't (usually) being horrid, a lot of it is trying to be funny & clown around. He is sent to another class virtually daily and I'm at my wits end.

I know he is still young but I don't want him labelled as the naughty child. He was like this at nursery but nowhere near the same extent. It seems to have upped several levels since starting school.

He has also recognised that some staff are more 'important' than others eg his teacher is more important than the class TA, head is more important still & plays up together attention if the most important person around (who he then cheerfully ignores).

He is a bright lad when engaged and focussed but not to the extent that reception has nothing to offer him(about what I would expect for a 4 year old).

Help!!!

[MatchsticksForMyEyes]

Reverse psychology works with my 4 year old. For you, I would say to him "Oh well, big 5yr old children are really good at listening. You are still too little to listen properly!" I bet he'd be anxious to prove otherwise.

[ConfusedMummy1]

My 4 year old DD is just the same. I was disappointed to learn that she still doesn't listen or help tidy up even after a year of preschool. The teacher informed me quite soon after the start of term. She is August born but I don't want to keep using that as an excuse. I worry about labelling ..

[ash979]

We offer our rec and nursery children fiddle toys if they find listening tricky. Quite often young children can't sit still, it is physically hard for them so they become so focussed on how they're supposed to sit that they don't take anything in. we find that if we give them a fiddle toy then they manage to sit and listen much better. The teacher should also either sit the child next to them or give them a space to sit slightly away from the group where they have space to move if they need to. Try mentioning this to the teacher, although I have to warn you sadly not all teachers would agree to this. We also talk to the whole group and explain x is finding it difficult to listen what can we do to help? The other children then understand why this child has a toy on the carpet when the rule is no toys and our children will ho and get the fiddle toy for child x and everyone's much happier!

[BertramBertram]

The problem with the teacher sitting him near her is that we think some of his playing up is to get her attention so would effectively be rewarding him. I will mention the idea of a fiddle toy tomorrow (unless a miracle happens and I don't get called over!).

DS does have some problem with carpet time but I think the bigger problem (or the thing I find hardest to deal with) is when you try and explain things to him one on one and he just walks off/starts spinning round in circles/talking over you or running away.

Just feel like a failure at the moment

[ThinThinker]

i could have posted exactly the same message, are you me?
im at my wits end with the same issues, almost word for word,
watching and reading with much hope and understanding

[BertramBertram]

Welcome to the club Thin! I feel better that its not just DS. My friend said to be glad DS has a personality but I think maybe he has too much personality

I'm hoping someone will be along who has been through the same...and come out the other side!!

[ThinThinker]

Yep BB
'Character' was used today in one description

[BertramBertram]

Better day today! Although, DS had pe for the first time and ran round like a loon jumping on and off the benches & had to be taken out. Teacher said she will give him another week and then look at implementing some other strategies(!). She does think it is listening in general he has a problem with rather than naughtiness which is something I suppose!

How did you LO get on today Thin?

[ThinThinker]

had a good day which was a total shock to me at home time,
maybe to do with the promise of something nice to do at the weekend,
crafty buggers

[iyatoda]

You are not alone. Was called at work (2nd time) on Friday about similar issue. I thought I had this sorted as he spent almost 18months in pre-school being winter born. He wriggles during carpet time and can't sit still. He is that way at home and I can cope with it but I guess with other children in class it is difficult for his teacher. Really don't know what to do too.

[Frontpaw]

I'm the same... Me and DS. It's genetic! I spent many days at school not knowing what the hell was gong on because I was usually daydreaming. I even handed in an English essay once. The teacher read it out to the class with the words 'it's not what I asked you to write about but I'm going to read it out because it's really good'. I had no idea what the hell he'd told us to write about, so must have imagined it.

[BertramBertram]

DS claims that he had a good day today but I'm not picking up until Wednesday so will find out then. I think we are going to have to wait for him to grow out of this. They started learning about greedy zero today & DS was ale to tell me about it so he must have listened a bit today...!