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Behaviour Problems at School Drop Offs - whose responsibility is it?

(5 Posts)
Nottigermum Tue 25-Sep-12 12:43:33

This morning, at school drop off, some kids were fighting. One in particular, was hitting other boys, repeatedly hitting different boys. Some other boys joined in. Some were at the receiving end, some others were hitting as well.

I kept my two DSs out of the way, although he did get hit (as soon as we walked in the playground). I just observed the situation and frankly was completely shock that the parents/carers were not seeing it or doing nothing about it.

One boy was doing most of the hitting and his nanny or childminder was not watching him at all, she was just chatting. Two other boys were also hitting others, but not so much. At least three other kids were being hit.

Last week it was noted in the school newsletter that parents/carers are responsible for children at drop off. But it also said that if we suspected that a child was being bullied, not to address the parent (s) directly but to speak to the teacher.

We are not talking about bullying here, but physical fighting, pushing, kicking (some would consider this playfighting, but there was real hits and it was not play for the receiving kid I'm sure).

I decided (I mighthave been wrong) to keep a close eye on my kids and to stay away from the situation.

In a case like that, what would you have done?

Also, this has been happening on occasion since DS1 was in nursery, by the same kids, and I have spoken to teachers and to the head teacher about it. Not this year as it is the first time it happens, but last year and the year before.

So sorry about the long post, but I feel bad that I didn't say anything to the parent / carer, maybe I should have... or should I get the school to deal with this?

MajorBumsore Tue 25-Sep-12 12:49:09

Well, it's a bit of a grey area. The parents are responsible for their child's behaviour, but I would expect the school to be getting involved. Certainly, if I glanced out of my classroom window before school and saw it happening I'd be down in a shot to sort it out.
The trouble is, if everyone is turning a blind eye, the behaviour will escalate and be seen as commonplace. I would speak to the head, perhaps they need some playground supervision in the mornings to sort it out. In my experience, it will only take a few weeks before the kids know that the school means business and it will become the norm for them to behave appropriately.

TroublesomeEx Tue 25-Sep-12 12:49:23

I would also keep a close eye on my children and just stay away from it.

Before the bell goes and the children go into school, they are the responsibility of the parents.

It's rubbish, and people should be keeping an eye on their own children, but some people don't.

You've spoken to the school about and they've put a note in the newsletter, so they're well aware of the problem, but that's as much as I think they can do really.

I wouldn't appreciate being called into the playground when doing my last minute prep stuff and getting myself ready for the day to sort out bad behaviour in the playground that parents weren't dealing with.

Nottigermum Tue 25-Sep-12 12:59:04

Yes they have teachers, head teacher and deputy head on a rota in the morning, but this morning was the first day that the Receptions kids were all there at the same time and staying all day, so the staff on duty was at that end of the playground and busy dealing with the little ones.

I have called the school and asked for a chat with the HT, but I just don't know what to do. I can't expect the school to take over the role of the parents when they are with their child in the playground, but it is still school ground and the school has a responsibility to make sure that children are safe... Anyway, the solution for me is that if this happens again, I will take my kids out of the playground and take them in the door of the main reception of the school. And/or go in as the bell rings. It doesn't solve the problem though, I would just avoid it...

learnandsay Thu 27-Sep-12 14:01:02

Don't speak to the parent directly?! I'd march right up to the moron and tell her what an idiot she was if she was letting her son punch other boys. I know all the other mothers in our class. If one of them had a child minder who was chatting while the punching was going on I'd have told her all about it before drop off was over! Little sods!

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