Reception child still no school.

[Rachog]

DSD is 4 and should have started school recently. She had a school place allocated but her mum moved them to a new town during the holidays.She has not tried to find dsd a school place in the new town as she has not decided if she is staying there yet or coming back to the original town.

Dp (and I) are really worried that dsd will be slipping behind, she is by no means stupid but not as advanced as some children her age. DD started 2 weeks ago and they are moving quite fast on letter formation!Also it is hard enough starting school without coming in after everyone else when they all know each other, the routine and school.

Is there anything dp can do to get dsd into school? He has spoken to his ex and told her its not on but she just shrugged it off with, well I don't know if I am staying yet.

[admission]

The child does not legally have to be in school until the term after they are 5, so there is nothing you can do legally to get the child into school. They may well be missing out on education and they will certainly not have the opportunity to just go to any school they want either where they are now or whether they move to. I would suggest that the difficulty of getting a school place may be the best card to play in trying to get things moving.

[Northernlurkerisbackatwork]

Starting school in September is not obligatory. My dd started in January and acquired the same skills. It's best for mum to start dsd in a school in a place they are settled in. There is no rush at her age.

[Wafflenose]

I wouldn't worry too much. Missing a few weeks or months of Reception is not going to set her back for the rest of her school career. She's not even legal school age yet - even if she turns five this term, I don't think she has to start school until January, and if her birthday is after that, she can start later still. My birthday is in April, so I started school at Easter and was just fine.

What does her dad think? Is he concerned? Is the mother just trying to minimise disruption to their dd's education, so that she doesn't start at one school and then have to change?

If she's not in school the term after she's five, I would bring it up again then. But I'm sure it will be fine.

[Rachog]

I didn't know that admission, I assumed that all children had to go the september they were four. Surely if starting school is delayed untill then she will have missed too much to catch up on?

I will tell dp to mention difficulty getting a place. Thanks for the advice.

[Rachog]

sorry crossed posts there.

Dp is worried about her settleing in after everyone has already made friends, she is quite a shy child.

I will tell him what you have all said and it should put his mind at ease a little.

Thanks

[Wafflenose]

There really isn't too much to catch up on in Reception. It's an extension of nursery/ preschool - lots of playing and crafty stuff, running around outside, and a bit of reading, which ours haven't started yet.

[Rachog]

It's probably not going to affect her future degree result then I guess.

I think it is a lot of settling in that worrys him too but if she has to change schools then i guess she will face the same thing.

[Jenny70]

She will be fine, but if not a social child then perhaps being at home with Mum isn't the best thing for her social development (assuming Mum isn't out at group activities with her, having just moved etc).

In terms of school work etc, the amount to "catch up on" is minimal - and if she started in January she'd probably find within a few weeks she's up with the classwork and routine - all the kids will know the routine so she will quickly copy them and learn it all. Whereas at the start kids are all over the place learning what to do and where to go etc.

To reassure you, through complicated reasons, moving etc my DD didn't attend any school until Year 2 (she was 6, a summer baby) - and she was in the highest spelling and reading groups by the end of that school year, and has just started Yr3. We did home schooling, so not like she knew nothing when she started 12 months ago, but I have no teacher training and no idea what to do, so not exactly ideal schooling scenario.

So given that DSD is only 4, school may not be the priority right now - sorting living arrangements etc might be the focus. Realistically though school is main social outlet for kids this age, and that is hard/impossible to provide outside the school system.

Worry about her social development, making friends etc, school work missed won't be a problem.

[Rachog]

Thanks Jenny, your post is very reassuring in terms of school work and has put my mind at ease.

Dp is still not happy but I think its just one of a few problems to him. This is dsd's forth home of the year and he just wants to see her.settled rather than passed from pillar to post.

[korvonia]

I really wouldn't worry about school. Children don't learn in a linear way, and a lot of reception is about learning through play in any case. I would just read a lot with your dsd so that she enjoys books. And try and provide her with as stable a second home as you can.

V hard being a NRP when things like this come up.

[Rachog]

Good advice Korvonia. I think dp would agree with it being difficult.

[korvonia]

Yes, I have a dss and it is very tough when his mum does things that dp doesn't agree with. In the end dp/we cannot influence his day to day life with the other parent; all we can do is help support him and give him some useful strategies to help him cope with any difficulties (and remind ourselves that we are not perfect parents ourselves, of course!). Split families are tougher than anyone of us think!

[take3]

Admission - sorry to sound picky but it is not correct that 'all children have to be in school the term after they turn 5'..... I think it is 'full time education'.... so school is not compulsory, the mother could say she is 'home educating', even if she is not intending to.

[meditrina]

One thing you might want to check I'd if the mother has formally deferred the current reception place. If she does that, then the place must be held until a later start point in the reception year (though cannot be held over until year 1). This means that at least one place is safe (won't help if they move elsewhere). If she has not done so, perhaps DP could get onto sorting that asap?

[Rachog]

Thanks everyone for the replies.

I will get dp to phone the school first thing Monday and see if she has deferred it, that is very helpful.

Take3 I will tell dp to be aware.of that.